


The Crisis

by otherscott



Series: EXO Mob AU [1]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, First Time Bottoming, M/M, Questioning, Smut, Threesome - F/M/M, Webcam/Video Chat Sex, idk i love it anyway, this is sort of ridiculous
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-06
Updated: 2014-08-24
Packaged: 2018-01-14 17:36:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 53,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1275109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/otherscott/pseuds/otherscott
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jongdae has to see another man's erection in order to have sex with his maybe-girlfriend. His entire life is thrown off-balance.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. jongdae talks to himself

**Author's Note:**

> this is written set in a mob AU that my friend and i have. it's a really extensive and developed AU but i think this fic is able to stand by itself without going into a lot
> 
> if there's anything that confuses you go ahead and ask and i can tell you ;w;
> 
> but yes, jongdae and minseok are korean envoys sent to work in the chinese division of suho's mob.
> 
> this includes a female oc i made yeah she's great
> 
> WARNING: this is very porny

Jongdae had never seen another man’s erect penis before, and he didn’t really want to. He had never even thought about the possibility. He didn’t think about what his friends had under their boxers whenever they were changing in the locker room back when he played soccer, and he didn’t even think about what might be going on in Minseok’s room whenever his hyung locked his door. It just wasn’t something that concerned him.

So when faced with the idea of having a threesome with another man, he was hesitant. And he figured Yixing would be too.

Last weekend, he had brought Jingfei out to dinner at a Korean restaurant. He figured he was impressing her with his knowledge of the cuisine, and his smart checkered tie, and his brand new earring, of course, but her disinterested stare when he pulled away from their goodnight kiss was unsettling. When he asked if he could come up to her apartment, she said no. She had still smiled at him, and his heart jumped a bit. Five dates and no action was ridiculous, but she was pretty enough that he could deal with it.

She had sent him a text later that night.

**how long have you known that yixing guy that you introduced me to at the party last month?**

Jongdae was about to settle down and go to bed, having rubbed out a frustrated release minutes ago and in no mood to talk to his possibly-maybe-but-things-aren’t-looking-up-girlfriend. He replied to her anyway, because he was a sucker, and her name at the top of his message list made him smile.

**Almost a year now. his office is close to mine**

He figured that a conversation was about to happen, so he unplugged his phone from its charger and set it on the bed next to him. He was surprised at how quickly she replied.

 **are you two close?** And then another: **i’ve heard some things about him.**

He frowned. What an ambiguous thing to say.

**I guess so. i feel comfortable talking to him and working with him. and he helps me with chinese. what have you heard?**

A few minutes went by, and Jongdae felt his eyelids getting heavier. Maybe she had fallen asleep mid-text. He was about ready to do that. His phone buzzed again.

**could you do something for me?**

He quickly typed out “Anything” but held himself back from sending it. _That’s...that’s a little over the top, Jongdae._ She hadn’t answered his question, either. Whatever.

**I’d be happy to, what is it?**

That was a much better response. He sent it, and hoped that she wasn’t going to have him do something right this moment. After a long, shitty day of trying to clean up the mess Lu Han left and a long, shitty date with a girl who probably didn’t even like him, he just wanted to get to sleep.

**can you ask him if he’ll have a threesome with us? ;)**

Now that he didn’t see coming. The question made his eyes shoot open but it was the winky face that really did him in. He stared at the screen, unsure of what to even say to that. What. What. _Say no, of course._ His fingers weren’t moving, though, and even though every fucking thought in his head was telling him that he didn’t want to have sex with Yixing, that one little asshole voice was reminding him of how much he wanted to bang Jingfei. Goddamnit. Shit. What. No. He was not going to have sex with Yixing.

_Hey man, think this through._

No. Absolutely not.

_You don’t even have to touch him. He just has to be a part of it._

That was not a mental image he wanted.

_Don’t be such a pussy. You’ve been naked in front of another guy before._

That is 100% not the same thing.

Jongdae sighed, closing his eyes and bringing his hand to his forehead. What was he even supposed to do. He had been laying there for who knows how long, and by now he should’ve sent her a reply. He groaned and typed out the first plausible thing he could think of.

**I’ll see to it.**

Cherry on top.

**;)**

He felt no better after sending that, but he figured that there was absolutely no chance of Yixing saying yes, so he could just tell Jingfei that he had asked him and he had said no, right? It was only sort-of lying. He could get away with that. He felt dirty, so he let himself fall asleep before waiting for a reply.

He woke up the next morning to the sound of Minseok fussing around in the kitchen, and goddamn if his first thought of the day wasn’t _maybe I should ask Minseok hyung before doing anything about this_. Then he got out of bed, looked at himself in his mirror, and made a face. No fucking way. This was too weird to bring Minseok into, and besides, it concerned someone from work. He didn’t want to make Minseok think about that time Jongdae wanted to have a threesome with Yixing every time he looked at him. Just the idea made him feel gross.

He got dressed and went out into the common room, making it seem like he was looking for his bag. He just didn’t want to have to look at Minseok while asking this question. “Minseok hyung.” He called out.

“Good morning,” Minseok replied from the kitchen, and Jongdae started again.

“Morning. Uhh, hey, do you think Yixing hyung is attractive?”

There was a pause, emphasized by the sound of running water from the sink, and then the water stopped and Minseok appeared in the doorway moments after. “What are you talking about?”

“I need...your opinion. As a gay man.”

Minseok stared at him. Jongdae figured his brain was breaking from the absurdity of the situation. “Uhm,” Minseok started, and Jongdae raised his eyebrows at him, which made Minseok freeze. There was another awkward moment of silence, and then Minseok spoke again. “He’s not really my type, but...yeah, I think he’s attractive.”

 _Okay good lord get this conversation off of Yixing right now._ “Ahhh, neat, what is your type, then?” _Was that...was that an acceptable segway._

Minseok was still staring at him. _Apparently not_. “Jongdae-yah, are you...are you okay?”

Jongdae laughed nervously. “Yeah, I’m fine!”

“Are you coming on to me?”

They stared at each other, and then Jongdae burst out laughing, for real this time. “ _No!_ I’m just asking a question!”

Minseok smiled a bit, shaking his head. “You’re acting so weird. Did you have a bad dream?” He went back into the kitchen, and Jongdae sat on the couch, looking at the television that was turned off.

“Sort of. Doesn’t matter.” _It would be stupid to call this a nightmare because dude it’s just the possibility of having a threesome with your male coworker and oh my god why am I so scared._

Jongdae heard the sound of the dishes being put away, and eventually Minseok came out of the kitchen, rolling his sleeves down. “How was your date last night?”

“Oh, it was...fine.”

Minseok gave him a look that was only half a smile, and nodded. “That’s good. You’ve been seeing her a lot.”

“Yeah, she’s really great. She works at a zoo and she tells me all these funny stories of things that happen with the animals. She’s really funny.”

Minseok smiled at him this time, and waved his hand at him. “Are you ready to go?”

“I need to brush my teeth.” Jongdae got up from the couch and went into the bathroom, closing the door behind him carefully and immediately staring himself down in the mirror. He had gotten so careless that some part of him was actually thinking about asking Yixing to join him in bed. What the _fuck. Minseok hyung says he’s attractive, so maybe it wouldn’t be that bad. And Yixing’s gotta be good at what he does. It’s practically his second job._

But that meant nothing to a straight guy, and _Jongdae was a straight guy._ Straight guys didn’t have threesomes with other dudes. _And that’s why Yixing would never say yes to you._ He sighed and reached for his toothbrush, looking at his reflection and frowning at the bags under his eyes. It was going to be another long day.

 

 


	2. jongdae talks to yixing

    Four days later and Jongdae had finally worked up the courage to do what he was about to do. He planned everything out in advance, even Yixing’s responses, because he was pretty sure what Yixing was going to respond with. And if anything went off the tracks, he could just freestyle it; he was a bright guy, and besides, there was really only one way this conversation could go. Right.

    When he was walking down the short hallway that led from his and Minseok’s office to Yixing’s, he felt like he was floating, and too fast for him to be comfortable with. _What kind of a fucking time is it to have an out of body experience right now._ Maybe he would die and his ghost could ask Yixing to have sex with his maybe-girlfriend. He stopped in front of Yixing’s door and balled his hands into fists. He could do this. He could do this. In five minutes he was going to be a free man, no longer shackled by the terrifying prospect that he was going to have weird sex with a dude.

    He knocked on Yixing’s door, and there was no response, but he could see that the light was on. He paused, and then slowly opened it a crack, looking in. He opened it farther when he saw that Yixing was in fact inside, sitting at his desk and looking at his computer, a cigarette stuck lazily in between two fingers. He didn’t look up when Jongdae walked in, but after a few seconds he raised his eyes. “Mm?” He flicked ashes from his cigarette into an ashtray. “Jongdae.”

    “Good afternoon, Yixing gē, uhm,” he wanted to stop but _don’t stop now you pussy_ , “I have something that I’ve been, uhh, told to, asked to, uhh, ask you.” That was completely off-script and he sounded like a goddamn child. As soon as he was actually face to face with the man whose penis he could possibly be seeing in the near future, he had forgotten all of his lines. Apparently it showed on his face, because Yixing looked at him like he was lost, and then the tiniest traces of a smile played on the side of his mouth. Jongdae knew that smile, and he knew Yixing was mocking something inside of his head, but whether it was Jongdae’s stutter, trembling, or general incoherentness he couldn’t tell.

    “Yeah? What’s going on?” Yixing had a way about him where he could stay still for hours, and sometimes Jongdae felt like he was talking to a photograph. It was unnerving him beyond belief.

    He swallowed back spit and tried to save whatever lines he could remember. “It’s not about work. It’s something personal. Is that okay?”

    Yixing paused, and shrugged his shoulders very subtly. “I guess.” Jongdae had never really gone to Yixing with a personal problem, that was more of when Minseok or Lu Han came into play, and to be honest sometimes Yixing scared the shit out of him. But he was going to be strong because he was in the mob now, and had been for over a year, and he was a man. _Who is gonna have sex with another man_. He wished he could turn off his mind.

    “Yeah, so, uhh, it’s about this girl I’ve been seeing for a while--” Yixing’s eyebrows raised at this and he looked away for a second, Jongdae assumed that Yixing had been come to before for advice about women, and it almost made him laugh. “She’s, uhh, her name is Jingfei, I introduced her to you at that party we found you at a while back, do you remember?” There was another pause-- Jongdae couldn’t tell at this point if Yixing was just a slow responder or if he was deliberately being an asshole-- and Yixing nodded.

    “Yeah, I do. We talked for a bit.”

    “Yup.” Jongdae felt a small smile on his face and he wanted to stop it, but couldn’t. “So I guess she has some friends who know you, or something, because--” and here’s where he was standing center stage, with the spotlight on him and Yorick’s skull in his hand, his microphone turned all the way up, and a complete and utter shutdown taking place in his brain. It was the blue screen of death, all of the music on his iPod deleted, hit in the head with a baseball and awoken several hours later in a hospital with no recollection of who he was. Yixing was staring at him. Jongdae didn’t notice.

    “Jongdae-sshi.” Yixing called his name loudly, and Jongdae was almost certain that he jumped ten feet in the air. He tried to calm himself down and nodded several times.

    “I’m sorry, I just remembered something, it doesn’t have to do with this, I--” he stopped again, and wet his lips; his nerves were killing him. “She...she sort of asked me, a few days ago, if we could...invite you into our bed.” That was the phrasing he had settled on when he had planned things, but when he said it out loud to Yixing, it sounded silly. “Have a threesome.” That certainly cleared things up. “With...us.”

    Yixing was looking at him, face blank as always, and then grinned. “I was not expecting that!” _Ahahaha yeah neither was I._ “Jongdae, are you okay?”

    Jongdae sighed heavily. “Yeah, I’m fine, I’m just really stressed out about this, is all.” He frowned and clasped his hands together in front of him. “Yixing gē, I know it’s really weird and out of the blue, and you probably don’t even want to do it and that’s totally fine like seriously I completely understand, and if you say no I really won’t hate you like not at all and I completely understand you know, and like--”

    Yixing put his hand up to stop him and Jongdae stopped. He put his cigarette out in his ashtray because apparently that was enough of that, and blinked a few times. “Uhm, calm down.” He grinned again, not looking at Jongdae. Jongdae was a bit thankful for that, because he didn’t know how much more of that uncomfortably smug look he could take. “Are we really having this conversation right now?”

    Jongdae groaned. “Yeah, I know, Jingfei is being so fucking weird, and I was just not gonna ask you and tell her that you said no, but that would be a dick thing to do, so I figured I just had to get this over with. And man you don’t even understand, I’ve been hanging out with her for weeks and I just want to bang her _so bad_ but now it got all complicated.” He sighed, feeling as if a weight had been lifted off of his chest. Now for Yixing to just say no and he could get out of here, ask him to just forget this entire conversation, and maybe hop on a plane back to Korea. Yixing’s face had gone blank and then reverted back to his smile, and Jongdae was over seeing whatever sort of self-satisfaction that was happening. He just wanted to get out.

    “It’s pretty fuckin’ random but I’m not bothered by it...I mean, it would probably be better if I knew you two a bit more, but seeing that you’ve asked me so kindly--”

     _no_

    “--I’ll take you up on your offer, as long as you’re okay with it.”

     _HOLY SHIT_

    “Are you sure you’re okay with it?”

     _BUT WHY_

    “Jongdae?”

    Jongdae was very impressed with himself since he thought he was going to puke right then and there but he didn’t. He realized that Yixing was trying to call him back to reality and he stirred. “Yes, I’m--” _WHAT DO I EVEN SAY TO THIS_ “--I’m fine. I’ve never done anything, with, uhh, near, a guy, but I’m...open to it.” He was spewing lies. That was not true. He wanted to cry.

    “Okay.” Yixing was smiling at him, and this time it seemed to be less smarminess and more compassion. Jongdae still wanted to cry. “Maybe you can shoot me a text or give me a call when you’ve, ahh, talked to her?”

    “Yeah.” Jongdae felt empty inside and he supposed it was showing on his face. “I can do that. I’ll get back to you.” There was an awkward pause, Yixing made a small laugh-y sound, and Jongdae bowed to him, very swiftly, before darting for the door. “Thank you Yixing gē.” And then he was gone.

    This was a dilemma that he could no longer consult Minseok about. This was a whole ‘nother level of crazy. _It’s your fault, you fucking dumbass, for not just telling him that you don’t want to do it._ He was expecting Yixing to save him from this. _You forgot that Yixing invented sex._ He was a straight guy. He was supposed to say no. _Of course he was going to say yes._

    He whined as he walked down the hallway back to his office, and was comforted by seeing it empty. He plopped down in his chair and put his head on his desk; he had given up on the day, he was not going to get any work done, he was probably just going to look at pictures of cats on the internet, take a nap, and call his mom. This was stupid. This was a stupid stupid _stupid_ thing he had gotten himself into but he was going to have sex, at least, and he was going to have sex with Jingfei, and that was a good thing. He had been waiting for that. He had persevered and he had come out victorious. He was going to consider this a victory. A victory for heterosexual men across the globe.


	3. (nsfw) jongdae does the deed

    Jongdae was sitting on the couch in Yixing’s apartment, his knees trembling, staring at a statue of a unicorn that was in the middle of the coffee table. His stomach was full of vegetable dumplings and a little bit of Tsingtao, and he only felt a little bit nauseous. Yixing and Jingfei were in the kitchen, making drinks, he was told, and it made him uncomfortable. They had gotten along really well all throughout dinner and it made Jongdae feel like he was the one third-wheeling. This was some sort of weird alternate universe in which Yixing and Jingfei were deeply in love and Jongdae was their creepy little stalker watching them from the window.

    He had tried to psych himself up in the week between when he asked Yixing to join them and the actual night of their date-thing, but it hadn’t been very successful. He attempted to watch gay porn last night, but he had been so fearful that Minseok would be able to hear him -- through the wall of his bedroom, and all the way from his headphones no less -- that he had cut that adventure short. He had figured out, though, that he wasn’t really that uncomfortable looking at a man’s naked body. That was fine. He could see how it was...beautiful. He didn’t like looking at penises but he supposed he wouldn’t have to do a lot of that. He was going to make sure that he was as far away from Yixing’s penis as possible.

    He could hear the clinking of glasses from the kitchen, and he took in a big breath, patting his hands on his knees. They had a nice dinner with nice conversation and everything was going nicely. The sex was going to go nicely, and then it would be over, and then Jongdae could be having sex with Jingfei, just the two of them. That was how it was going to work. Yeah.

    He heard Jingfei’s footsteps enter the room, and suddenly she plopped down on the couch next to him, crossing her legs under her and handing him a tall glass. “Here, baby,” she smiled, and kissed him next to his ear.

    He made a soft sound and took it, smelling it shortly and watching Jingfei take a sip from her own. “What’s in it?”

    “It’s just strawberry vodka and Sprite. Yixing says he doesn’t keep a lot of alcohol in the house.” She smiled, wrapping her fingers all the way around the glass, and he noted how small and dainty her hands were. Everything about her was so cute.

    “It looks neat.” He took a very small sip and nodded. “Ahh, it’s sweet.”

    “Yeah,” she agreed, and Yixing came out of the kitchen, holding his own drink. He had taken his blazer from dinner off, and Jongdae was a little thrown by how deep his V-neck was. There were clavicles. (He had looked up that word last night because if he was going to fuck it, he wanted to know what it was called.)

    “I hope it’s not too strong, Jongdae.” Yixing moved around the coffee table and sat down on Jongdae’s other side. “Lu Han makes drinks more often than I do.”

    “It tastes fine,” Jongdae smiled, nodded, didn’t make eye contact with Yixing, and took another sip. He looked at the television, which wasn’t even on. Jingfei said something to him, but he didn’t catch it, so she called his name and he looked over. “Ahh, yeah?” She laughed once and kissed his cheek, and then moved to kiss his lips. It felt warm, and he was happy, only a bit uncomfortable with being watched over his shoulder. He felt Yixing sit back against the couch, but tried not to focus on it, instead letting himself melt into Jingfei’s lips. This was as far as they had ever gotten, and it was good to get back to familiar territory. He put his drink down on the coffee table, and Jingfei pulled away to get another sip of hers, before following his lead and freeing her hands. She put her hands on either side of Jongdae’s face and climbed into his lap, kissing him hard. Jongdae put his hands on her hips and closed his eyes, usually when he was ten seconds into kissing a girl he was already rock-hard, but he was having some problems, all of which concerned the man on the couch next to them.

    Jingfei pulled away from Jongdae, smiling at him before reaching over and grabbing Yixing by the neck, pulling him closer and kissing him. Jongdae sat back and watched this, felt his mouth open; he had never been one to want to see his maybe-girlfriend kiss another guy. Yixing seemed to be all for it though, and Jongdae was made a little upset by how enthusiastically he grabbed at Jingfei, putting his hand on her side, just centimeters above where Jongdae was resting his own. Jongdae felt that if he touched Yixing’s skin the world would explode, so he removed his hand and slid it up her back. She made a soft sound and he exhaled, each move she made calmed him down, but each move Yixing made made the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. He had no idea how he was going to handle this.

    Jingfei put her hands at the hem of Yixing’s shirt, and Yixing let out a soft laugh. Jongdae closed his eyes and wished he was on an island somewhere. He opened them and Yixing’s shirt was off, no surprise there, and his hands were behind his neck, pulling open the clasp of his necklace. Seeing the hair under his partner’s armpits threw him off and he jerked his hips to move away, causing Jingfei to make a sound and kiss him on his ear. She dropped her lips to his neck and he calmed, rubbing her back slowly, enjoying the marks she was leaving for Minseok to see tomorrow morning. He heard the clink of Yixing putting his necklace on the table and looked over at him. Yixing gave him a smile, and it made Jongdae’s stomach lurch. He moved behind Jingfei’s back, and leaned down to her neck, mumbling something in Chinese into her ear that Jongdae didn’t quite catch. Jingfei grinned and moved away from Jongdae, turning around to kiss Yixing, putting her hand on Jongdae’s leg to steady herself. Yixing knelt down and put his hand on Jongdae’s leg too, and Jongdae jumped a bit, his cock twitched and what.

    Jongdae wrapped his arms around Jingfei’s abdomen, closing his eyes and burying his face in her hair. He listened to Yixing making out with his maybe-girlfriend for a bit, and then stirred when he felt him stand up. He had Jingfei’s hand in his own, and he smirked down at Jongdae. “You want to take this to my bedroom, ahh?”

    He stared up at him, unsure of how to answer. Obviously the answer was yes, but he was hesitant. “Mm, yeah.” He feigned a smile, and Jingfei winked down at him. Her ass looked incredible and he was up for that. He stood up and Yixing ran his hand through Jongdae’s hair, completely unannounced, and Jongdae froze, watching the two ahead of him walk down the hallway that led to Yixing’s room.

    Last week Yixing was Jongdae’s scary higher-up, and now he was affectionately rustling his hair, shirtless, in his apartment. Jongdae found himself in Yixing’s room shortly after, unaware of how he even got over there. Now it really felt like he was having an out-of-body experience. He lingered by the door as he watched Yixing lay down on his bed and Jingfei climb on top of him, and Jingfei turned around to look at him. “Babe, come here.” Jongdae shut the door behind him and undid the top button of his shirt, swallowing a little louder than he had hoped and walking over.

    Jingfei took his hands in hers and placed them on the hem of her blouse, guiding him to take it off. He did so, and placed it carefully by the foot of the bed, but Jingfei knocked it off. Jongdae smiled nervously and climbed up on the opposite side of the bed, watching Yixing put his hands on Jingfei’s breasts with a sour taste in his mouth. She let out a soft sigh, and Yixing moved his hands around her back, unhooking her bra with more ease than Jongdae had ever witnessed in his life. He threw it to the floor and moved up to kiss her, and Jongdae undid another button. He was making progress, at least.

    “Jongdae,” Yixing called out to him, and Jongdae jumped.

    “Ahh, yeah?” Jingfei giggled a bit, and Yixing reached his hand out. Jongdae hesitantly took it, and Yixing put his hand at the front of Jingfei’s jeans. Jongdae understood what was going on -- he’s trying to include you in this because it’s a threesome and you can’t just sit there watching come on -- and he immediately sobered up, using both hands to unbutton and pull the zipper down. Yixing smiled up at the ceiling as Jingfei writhed out of her jeans, and she took the side of Jongdae’s face in her hand, drawing him into a long kiss. He was grateful, and he ran his hand through her long hair, trying to ignore Yixing’s hand wandering to her backside. Jingfei dropped her hands to work on the front of Yixing’s pants, but she still kept Jongdae’s lips captive on her own. Jongdae pulled away jerkily when Jingfei got Yixing’s pants undone and pulled them down -- he wasn’t wearing any underwear (the fact that Yixing had not been wearing underwear all throughout dinner and the rest of the night was something that Jongdae wanted to simultaneously think about and not think about) and blam there was a penis, half-erect and staring Jongdae right in the face. Jongdae stared right back at it, and Yixing actually laughed out loud, causing Jongdae to jump and look away, blush rising to his face.

    There were a few moments of silence, Jongdae assumed that Jingfei and Yixing were being friendly with each other, and then they both called his name in unison. Jongdae looked over at them, and they were smiling at him. It made him smile back, and he blinked. “You two look so comfy.”

    Wordlessly, Yixing and Jingfei descended upon him, Jingfei working on the many buttons Jongdae had still not undone, and Yixing pulling open the front of his pants. Jongdae twitched, and his dick did too, not because of Yixing’s proximity to it of course but because Jingfei was stripping him and that was hot. Suddenly he was about as clothesless as the rest of them, and he and Jingfei laughed softly as they pulled each other’s underwear off.

    She pushed him back down on the bed and he felt comfortable as his head hit the pillow, happy as a clam when she climbed on top of him and kissed him. He felt Yixing’s hand go to Jingfei’s side, and he tried to ignore it, but he couldn’t when Jingfei pulled away from him and refocused her attention onto Yixing. He watched her dip her head to Yixing’s crotch and take his erection into her mouth, and Jongdae was almost sure he made a sound, some sort of groan or whine or goddamnit she put her mouth on his dick before mine.

    It was still hot to watch, though, he would give her that. He glanced up to see whatever sort of smug expression Yixing would have on his face, and was a little thrown when he saw Yixing with his eyes closed, biting his lip. Jongdae’s dick roused again and he put his hand on it to calm it down, but that was a stupid move because no that was not going to calm it down at all. He took in a deep breath and watched his maybe-girlfriend spit on his coworker’s cock, and now he groaned for sure. Yixing groaned about a second afterward.

    Jongdae moved his hand to the flat of Jingfei’s back, and he felt her leg twitch under him. That gave him a bit of an ego boost, so he moved up onto his knees, kneeling behind her and kissing the skin between her shoulders, moving down and kissing her back. He felt her bob up and down on Yixing’s cock, and he tried to ignore it, moving his hands to put on her hips. Yixing let out a soft sound, and Jongdae bit his lip, sitting up and sliding one of his hands in between Jingfei’s legs. Jingfei whimpered at the sudden contact, and Jongdae noticed that Yixing was looking at him, some sort of weird pride playing on his face. Jongdae didn’t really want Yixing to be proud of him at the moment, but hell it was something. He smiled shakily and moved his hand away, bringing his fingers to his mouth to wet them, and then replaced them where they were.

    Jingfei scooted back a half an inch into him, but that was enough for Jongdae. He slowly eased two fingers into her, and bit his lip when she shook her hips at him. She pulled away from Yixing’s cock with a popping sound and moaned Jongdae’s name, and hot damn if that wasn’t the entire reason he was doing this fucking thing. He grinned and rocked his fingers inside of her, before giving in to temptation and sliding in a third finger, fucking her as eagerly as he could. She squealed, and Jongdae let out a sound, grabbing his dick with his free hand and touching himself.

    Yixing reached down and slid his hand over the tip of his wet cock, groaning and sitting up a bit to readjust his position. He laughed softly at Jongdae’s enthusiasm and rolled over to his side, reaching for something in his bedside drawer. He had some trouble getting it open with one hand, but he managed it, and then threw a condom at Jongdae, hitting him in the chest with it. Jongdae looked down at it from where it fell on the bed and grinned unsteadily, not quite ready to open it yet. He was having too much fun with the way Jingfei arched herself on his hand.

    Yixing pulled another condom out of the drawer and placed it next to his pillow, moving to sit in front of Jingfei. He lifted her up so she was on her knees, her ass pressing up against Jongdae’s abdomen, and Yixing smirked at the soft whimper Jongdae let out. Yixing brought his fingers to Jingfei’s chin, moving her head up to kiss her. He dropped one hand around Jongdae’s back, hesitated, and then grabbed his ass quickly, almost laughing out loud at the startled reaction Jongdae gave him. Jongdae didn’t think it was that funny, but it made his dick hurt. He reached down for the condom Yixing had given him and slowly took his fingers out of Jingfei, reveling in the way she mewled at him. He tried to rip open the condom wrapper, but to no avail. He always had trouble with those damn things. He turned it around and tried again, but it still wasn’t budging. He lifted it to his mouth and bit at it, and then Yixing reached over and took it. “I can’t watch you do that anymore,” he chuckled, and made a tear in the wrapper after a second, handing it back to Jongdae so he could have the satisfaction of ripping it open. “Thanks,” Jongdae tried to sound grateful, but it came out as more of a mumble than anything. He tried to ignore the way Jingfei laughed.

    He very very very carefully slid the condom on himself, and let his mouth fall open as he stroked himself a few times, making it airtight. “God,” he said breathily, letting his free hand run down Jingfei’s side, “you don’t know how bad I’ve been wanting to do this, babe.” Jingfei moaned at the feeling of Jongdae’s cock at her entrance, and pushed Yixing back a little bit, trying to set herself on Jongdae’s cock. He moaned softly upon entering, and she squealed jerkily, quieting herself on Yixing’s lips.

    Jongdae was totally okay with the threesome at this point. He had come to terms with how Yixing had grabbed his ass earlier, and he was okay with it. Everything was okay. He was fucking the cute zookeeper with the pretty name and the lilting laugh, and everything was okay. He put his hands on her hips and steadied himself, then started to thrust at a regular pace. She squirmed, and moved downwards, taking Yixing’s cock into her mouth again. Yixing groaned and Jongdae was okay with it. He looked up at him and watched Yixing’s mouth fall open, slack, and was okay with it. Watching Jingfei suck his cock was kind of hot. He was okay with that, too. It was more like point of view porn than anything else.

    After Jongdae started fucking her harder Jingfei found it more difficult to keep herself on Yixing’s cock, and she pulled away, balancing her forehead on his leg and biting her tongue. “Ahh, Jongdae, fuck,” she groaned, and then reached her hand back to pat at his leg. He slowed down and she pulled away from him, flipping over on her back and pulling him closer. “Like this,” she started, breathless, and Jongdae knew what to do from there, entering her again in one hard thrust. She yelped, and it melted into a moan, closing her eyes and taking Yixing’s dick into her hand.

    Jongdae watched this, licking his lips, and looked up at Yixing. Yixing was looking at him, and Jongdae only found it sort of weird. He raised his eyebrows at him, a bit more confident now that he was deep inside of the girl of his most recent dreams, and didn’t flinch when Yixing came at him. He didn’t flinch when Yixing pressed his lips into his. He didn’t flinch when he felt Yixing’s tongue on his teeth, and he didn’t fight back, opening his mouth to him with a very small moan escaping his lips. He thought he felt Yixing smile against him, but tried not to focus on it. He could hear Jingfei giggle, and he looked down at her, and smiled. Yixing pulled away for a second, and then returned, harder, more eager. Jongdae’s heart was jumping out of his chest, and he thrusted into Jingfei faster, moving one hand to the back of Yixing’s head to work his mouth against his. He felt Jingfei quiver around him, and he pulled away from the kiss, moving his hand to play with Jingfei’s clit. She gasped, and raised her hips against him; Jongdae let out a rough breath and slowed his hips. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.” He breathed heavily and thrusted into her a few more times, softly, before pulling out and watching the rise and fall of her chest.

    “Fuck,” he repeated, and lifted his hand to wipe sweat from his brow. Jingfei reached out to grab his other hand, and he smiled, holding her hand in his for a moment before moving around to the side. He moved to kiss her, but was distracted when she started speaking.

    “Yixing,” she said, a hint of a smile in her voice, “can you one-up that?”

    Yixing smirked, a glint in his eye that Jongdae was not happy to see. “It’s a tough act to follow.” He reached around Jongdae’s side to grab the condom he had left at his pillow, and then dropped it on Jongdae’s chest, winking at him and watching him try to open it. Jongdae ripped it open on his third try, and handed it to Yixing, feeling good about himself. Good. This was a good idea.

    Jongdae had closed his eyes to rest for a second and suddenly Jingfei was moving again, he opened his eyes to see Yixing was already deep inside her, looking up with a blissful grimace on his face. Jongdae breathed heavily and put his hand on his cock, rubbing himself languidly and watching the show. Yixing rocked into her hard and slow, his hips moving back and forth fluidly, and Jongdae was a bit jealous of how good he was at it. He sped up eventually and made Jingfei whine, and then slowed down, grinning at her when she smacked his cheek playfully. Jongdae turned to kiss her, and she grabbed his neck, pulling him closer.

    He felt heaven, with his mouth on Jingfei’s and his hand teasing his cock, but his breath hitched when he felt Yixing’s hand on him. Yixing uncurled Jongdae’s fingers and tossed his hand aside, stroking his dick in a manner that made Jongdae want to scream, and he made a sound, at least, because Jongdae had a reputation for being noisy mid-orgasm. He thrusted his hips up into Yixing’s hand a few times, and then slowed down, his breathing coming heavy as Yixing pulled his hand away and put it on Jingfei’s hip.

    Jongdae was no longer interested in whatever was going on next to him. He exhaled slowly, and brought his hands up to his face, closing his eyes. He listened to the grunting and mewling and groaned a bit himself when he heard Jingfei come again, and then sat up, watching her face, and then the way her hips moved against Yixing’s.

    Yixing made one of the most delicious sounds Jongdae had ever heard when he came, and his mouth fell open, watching Yixing slow himself before pulling out. Yixing blinked a few times as if dazed, and then sat back against the wall. Jongdae took Jingfei’s hand in his and helped her sit up, and Jingfei fell against his shoulder, laughing a bit. Jongdae smiled. Jingfei felt warm, and he could feel her lips against his skin. He had never felt so close to her, and now it was perfect, their hands in each other’s, her skin on his skin. It didn’t matter that they were in Yixing’s bed, or that Yixing was running his hand through Jongdae’s hair again. It had gone better than expected. He wasn’t going to cry.


	4. (nsfw) jongdae touching himself

    The next night Jongdae was laying in his own bed, stripped bare, pumping his cock in his hand. He had his laptop open in front of him, a video of a young man pleasuring another with his mouth. It was his first foray into gay porn, or technically, his second, since he had tried watching it before his bedroom romp with Yixing and Jingfei, but that was more because it was necessary. At this point it was because he wanted to. Whatever the reasoning was behind that, though, he had no idea.

    His head fell back against the pillow, and he closed his eyes, listening to the sounds coming from his laptop. He could still hear the sound Yixing made when he came, all throaty and lustful. Jongdae had felt a little sick when he woke up that morning, thinking about how another man’s hand had been on his dick, but now it was a welcome thought. He groaned as he ran his fingers over the tip of his dick -- he remembered how Jingfei had woken him up with her tongue, and that was incredible, but he also remembered how Yixing had been walking around his room naked while it was happening. He remembered listening to Yixing and Lu Han having some fast conversation in Chinese outside the door while Jingfei sucked his cock. He hadn’t noticed it before, but Yixing’s accent was a little different from everyone else’s -- he’d have to ask him where he was from.

    Jongdae shook his head, and lifted his free hand to wipe his brow. He needed to _stop_ thinking about Yixing when he was jerking off, because okay he was watching gay porn and all, but Yixing was a totally straight dude and he was not going to sleep with him again. He didn’t want to. And Yixing probably didn’t want to either. _He kissed you._ He was just trying to get you into the threesome, since you were sitting there like an idiot. _He jerked you off._ He was probably trying to speed things up. _He made you cum_

    Jongdae let out a growl and put both hands on his cock, pumping it faster and pushing his head back farther into the pillow. He noted the loud grunts he was breathing, but didn’t try to calm them. His door was locked, and Minseok was in his own room -- it wasn’t late enough for him to be asleep, but he was probably doing something on his computer. He wouldn’t be paying any mind to the sounds coming from his roommate’s bedroom.

    So he let loose, moaning loudly as he felt all ten fingers wrap around his dick. The porn at this point was a distant memory, he let his recollection of last night guide him through the push and pull -- the way Jingfei felt tight around him, the way he watched her suck Yixing’s cock, the way Yixing had ruffled his hair the next morning when he was getting out of bed-- _what_. Jongdae groaned and ran his fingers over the tip of his dick, letting out a little whimper. Jingfei’s hair had felt so soft in his hands. Her lips were peach-shaped and sweet as honey.

    There were manly groans coming from his laptop, and he tried to close it shut with his hip, to no avail. He tried again, and then realized that he could possibly press some button and open iTunes or his webcam or god forbid Skype, and he stopped, letting the porn run its course. The groaning coming from it was louder now, and Jongdae looked over to see white spurting across the screen. He scowled and looked away again. He was watching gay porn and that was fucked up.

    He laid there for a few moments, his hands lazily pulling at himself, and then he sat up and looked at his laptop, wiping one hand on his bedspread to bring to the trackpad. He looked at the related videos, and frowned at every butthole. He was glad that the thought of anal sex with another man turned him off. He wasn’t _that_ gay.

    He wasn’t gay at all. He didn’t know why he kept thinking about that. He pointlessly opened another video and laid back down on his pillow, ready to ignore it. It was there if his imagination didn’t deliver and he needed something to help him out, that was all. He ran his fingers up and down his cock, and reached with his other hand to cup his balls. He sighed softly and sped up his hands, dragging his fingertips across the tip of his dick and letting out a little sound. He ignored the sounds coming from the computer, and focused on every memory of last night. He found that easy, and he imagined Jingfei’s hand wrapping around his cock and stroking it to orgasm, instead of Yixing’s, and that was enough to tip him over the edge. His orgasm was loud, as always, but not as strong as usual, probably because he had had such an intense one last night. He breathed slowly, letting himself calm down, before reaching out and pulling his laptop to him.

    There was gay porn playing on the screen, and he hated that. He closed out of the tab and blinked at his email inbox, before minimizing the screen. Maybe he should go to bed. It was Saturday night, which made him a loser, but he didn’t care about that right now, because he had a threesome last night and that is something that Chanyeol and Baekhyun could never say. He let out a soft breath and reached over to his side table, grabbing a few tissues and cleaning up the mess on his abdomen. Feeling the softness on the tip of his cock made him twitch a bit, and he shivered, balling up the tissues and throwing them at the trash can in the corner. He missed, and decided he didn’t care. Minseok never came into his room anymore, because he had become so disgusted by the absolute mess Jongdae tried so hard to keep it as. So he could do whatever he wanted in his own room.

    He pulled back the covers and climbed under, shivering again at the sudden cold against his skin. He took his phone from his side table and checked the time, and wanted to text Yixing. _What_. Where did that come from. He had never wanted to text Yixing in his life.

     _What would you even say. Hey man, thanks for the great sex last night, by the way did you know you’re making me feel really fucking gay right now?_ He shook his head and scowled, putting his phone back down. _There’s nothing wrong with being gay. Minseok hyung is gay and he’s awesome. Suho hyung is gay and he’s...successful._ Jongdae just wasn’t gay. He wasn’t... he wasn’t gay. Despite all the gay porn on his laptop. He was just experimenting, but he was 100% sure he wasn’t gay.

     _Maybe I could ask him what he’s doing tonight._ No! He wasn’t going to text Yixing, he didn’t even _talk_ to Yixing outside of mission reports and the occasional request to sleep with him. _He’s probably out doing something ridiculous and potentially dangerous_. Jongdae didn’t search for danger, he didn’t need any of that.

    He brought his hand to his forehead and tried to close his mind; he prayed for sleep, and no dreams of any men. He wanted a completely female dream tonight. That would help him get his mind off of things. He slowly got comfortable in his bed, and drifted off to sleep, and had a dream about some elephants. The sex of the elephants was not denoted, and that helped a lot.


	5. jongdae is awkward

    Minseok had made Jongdae cucumber kimchi last night, and surprised him with it in the morning. Sometimes it felt like Minseok was his mom-away-from-mom, and it warmed his heart; Jongdae had been mopey two days ago after he had come home from his night at Yixing’s, and apparently Minseok took notice, making him one of his favorite dishes to take to work. It’s not like he wanted to show off or anything, but Jongdae was headed to the little kitchen area Kris had made for them anyway, to get a soda or something from the fridge, and maybe share his lunch with any Chinese person who looked curious. Jongdae figured that Minseok hyung was a chef and his creations were to be revered.

    He walked into the lounge and made a beeline for the fridge, opening it and looking inside. As per usual, there was the half-empty bottle of water, the unclaimed storage container of mystery food that had been in there for days, and two cans of some very old-looking green tea. Jongdae sighed and grabbed one of the cans, figuring it was the best he was going to get. Kris spent a lot of time decorating the room, what with its charcoal-gray tile and dark blue furniture set, but apparently it was on them to bring in the actual edibles. He closed the refrigerator door with his hip and put his box of kimchi on the counter to open his tea.

    “Jongdae-yah,” Yixing’s voice called out, and Jongdae spun on his foot to see Yixing sitting at one of the little tables with his legs crossed, picking at something in a take-home container with his chopsticks. Jongdae bowed to him and Yixing nodded along while he chewed. “How are you?”

    “I’m good, how are you?” Jongdae’s fingers felt heavy as he popped the tab on the can. He turned around so his back was to Yixing, and considered fleeing as soon as Yixing was done answering him. He had been having a perfectly wonderful day with a perfectly wonderful homemade meal and a perfectly wonderful collection of videos of people falling off segways that Baekhyun sent him, and he did not need it all to be ruined by an awkward conversation with the guy who fucked his maybe-girlfriend.

    “Mm, good.” Yixing answered him, short and sweet, the way most of his sentences went. Jongdae nodded and moved toward the door, but Yixing’s voice stopped him. “There’s another drink in the fridge, right?”

    “Ahh...” Jongdae blinked. “Yeah, there is.” He wordlessly opened the fridge and took the other can of tea out, bringing it over to Yixing nervously. Yixing took it and nodded at him in thanks, not making eye contact with him. _Okay leave now this is obviously a situation neither of you want to be in._

    “Hey, can I sit here with you?” _WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU SAYING THIS WAS NOT THE PLAN_

    Yixing blinked up at him, not saying anything for an uncomfortable while, and then shrugged. “Sure,” and he pushed out the chair across from his with his foot. Jongdae felt his ankles trembling as he sat down in the chair, putting his box and can down on the table as quietly as he could. He had no idea why his subconscious was betraying him but he wanted to grab his chopsticks and drive them into his eyes. They sat there in silence, Yixing quietly chewing his lunch and Jongdae sitting there, unmoving, no longer interested in his wonderful meal. Neither of them were looking at each other, and even though Jongdae had been sitting at the table for no more than ten seconds, it was the most awkward experience of his life. After a moment he realized that he was just sitting there being weird, so he jerkily pulled the chopsticks Minseok had taped onto the box off and snapped them apart, and tried to open the box as quietly as he could. For some reason he felt as if any loud noise would make his heart jump in such a way that it would break right through his chest and fall out onto the floor.

    “What is that,” Yixing’s voice broke the silence, and his question came out so lackluster that at first Jongdae didn’t realize it was a question at all. Jongdae looked up at him, and Yixing wasn’t looking at him, instead, down at his phone, which had appeared out of nowhere. Jongdae guessed Yixing had snuck a look at his lunch when Jongdae hadn’t noticed.

    “Oh, uh, Minseok hyung made me cucumber kimchi.” Jongdae paused. “Have you had it before? Do you want some?”

    “I don’t like kimchi that much.” Yixing responded, and usually Jongdae would’ve taken offense at such a terrible statement, but he didn’t. There was a pause. “Thank you, though. It looks good. Minseok hyung is a good cook.”

    “Yeah,” Jongdae replied dumbly, and he sat there looking at his lunch for a few more moments before starting on it. He felt like he was going to waste the food on his jumpy stomach, but he had opened the box, so he might as well eat it. He took a bit in his chopsticks and lifted it to his mouth, scowling as most of it slipped out and fell back into the box. He chewed the rest of it and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, putting his chopsticks down on the side of the table. Eating was too difficult. He hated this. Ever since his stupid sexcapade thinking about Yixing had made him feel sick, and being in his vicinity was pure torture. It needed to stop. “Uhm, Yixing gē--”

    “Yixing, damnit, there you are.” Lu Han was standing in the doorway, looking distressed. He forced a smile to Jongdae and Yixing looked away from his phone to the door.

    “What’s going on?”  

    “I went by your office but you weren’t there.” Lu Han took a few more steps in, and Yixing straightened his legs out, looking ready to get up.

    “What’s wrong?”

    “My charm fell off of my phone, I need to find it.”

    Yixing scowled and rolled his eyes, groaning. “Lu Han, you fucking scare me when you come in here all wide-eyed, don’t do that!”

    “I’m upset!” Lu Han frowned and pushed Yixing’s head hard, and Jongdae stifled a laugh. Lu Han looked over at him. “Have you seen it, Jongdae-yah?”

    “No, but I don’t really know what it looks like.”

    “It’s a little blue ice cream cone with a face on a chain.”

    “It’s the girliest goddamned thing you’ve ever seen,” Yixing added, and Lu Han smacked him again. Yixing laughed and Lu Han whined.

    “If you’re not going to help me don’t be a douche about it.”

    “You don’t need to send in the troops to find your phone charm. Just retrace your steps and it’s bound to be around here somewhere.”

    “I already did that; I’ve been walking around forever.”

    Yixing sighed. “And I guess you haven’t been working in that time, have you?”

    “I made a lot of progress this morning,” Yixing glanced over at Jongdae with a smirk when Lu Han said this, and Jongdae looked wide-eyed at him, before smiling at picking his chopsticks back up, feeling comfortable enough to eat again. “so I have the time to do this. I haven’t even been out of my chair that much today.”

    “Maybe it fell off at home.”

    “No, I remember picking at it on the car ride here.”

    “Maybe that loosened it and it’s all your fault it fell off.”

    “Yixing, you’re not helping.” Lu Han’s brow furrowed, his big eyes looking fearful, and Jongdae felt bad.

    “Lu Han gē, I’ll help you look for it.” He said, and stood up from his chair, taking his box in his hands.

    Lu Han smiled at him. “Thank you, Jongdae. You’re a _good friend_.”

    “Bite me,” Yixing grumbled, and Lu Han swatted at him, and Yixing swatted back. Jongdae laughed out loud and Lu Han took Yixing’s chopsticks out of his hand, and then reached over to Jongdae’s box.

    “Did Minseok make this?” Lu Han asked.

    “Ahh?” Jongdae watched as Lu Han took a piece of his lunch and shoved it in his mouth. “He did, how did you know?”

    Lu Han nodded and pointed at the box while he chewed, and swallowed, “he’s made this for me before, I recognize the way it looks.”

    “Oh, you like kimchi?”

    “Yeah, the more I eat it the more used to it I get.”

    “I’m sorry I’m such a bad Korean,” Yixing said to Jongdae, and Jongdae’s eyes widened at him; a little smile crept onto Yixing’s face at this look. “I’m just kidding, child.”

    Something about that pet name made Jongdae angry, and he looked back to Lu Han, grabbing the top of his box and putting it back on his lunch. “Lu Han gē, do you know where we should be looking for your charm?” He picked up his tea and took a sip from it, and Lu Han shrugged.

    “I have no idea. I guess we’ll just go back to where I already checked and look even harder.”

    “Good luck,” Yixing said to them, and Jongdae nodded at him.

    “Thanks.”

    “You are no help,” Lu Han goaded Yixing, but there was a smile on his face.

    Yixing looked up at him, keeping his face devoid of emotion. “You drank the last of my raspberry vodka.”

    Lu Han rolled his eyes and grabbed Jongdae’s arm. “I’m not gonna talk to you about that anymore. It is a fight you will not win.”

    “Fine, run away, but you’re going to have to face it eventually.” Yixing sounded like he was smiling, but Jongdae couldn’t look to see because Lu Han was pulling him out of the room so quickly.

    When they were out Lu Han let out a heavy sigh and let go of Jongdae’s arm. “He can be so silly.”

    “Yixing gē is funny.” Jongdae smiled, and Lu Han laughed.

    “Yeah.” The mirth faded quickly. “Shit, I really need to find this charm. Sehun-ah gave it to me.”

    “Do you still talk to Sehun?”

    Lu Han smiled. “Yeah, every day.” That made Jongdae smile. “That’s so nice.”

    “It is.” Lu Han nodded, and took Jongdae into his office. “Yixing told me you have a girlfriend, is that right?” He went over to his desk and looked under his chair, and Jongdae hung back at the door. He had no idea that Yixing spoke to Lu Han about him.

    “Uhm,” and he actually didn’t know how to answer this question, “sort of, I think? Maybe. We’ve been on enough dates and we talk often enough that...” He trailed off, and shook his head. “Maybe.”

    Lu Han laughed. “That’s nice, too.”

    Jongdae nodded slowly. “Yeah...” He wanted to ask Lu Han why Yixing told him such _lies_ but he stopped himself, and was proud of his subconscious for shutting the fuck up. He realized that Lu Han was looking around the room and he was just standing there, so he put his box and can down on the desk and started to look around. He felt uncomfortable picking around his superior’s office, and he felt stiff. He scuffled around to the best of his ability, and chuckled softly when he saw Lu Han on his hands and knees, looking under his desk. He pulled the chair farther out when he saw Lu Han backing up to get out.

    “Thanks,” Lu Han said to him, and he frowned, going over to the wall, looking behind a file cabinet, and kicking it when he didn’t find anything there. “Damnit! I _hate_ myself right now,” he put his hands in his pockets, and stopped. Jongdae looked at him, about to say something, but then Lu Han took his right hand out, holding the ice cream cone charm in his hand. He stared down at it, and Jongdae burst out laughing.

    “How did you not feel it in your pocket?”

    “It’s...small,” Lu Han said softly, obviously aware of how stupid of an excuse that was, and he sighed. “It must’ve just fallen off in there.”

    “Well, you found it.” Jongdae smiled at him, and Lu Han forced a smile, closing his eyes.

    “Yeah. Thanks, I guess.”

    “No problem.” Jongdae smiled and moved to the door, picking up his things. “I think my presence helped you find it.”

    “Yeah, that was it. Thank you, Jongdae-yah. I’ll tell Yixing that you need a raise.”

    Jongdae laughed out loud. “That sounds perfect!”

    “Now I need to actually get work done,” Lu Han plopped down in his chair, “I lied, I didn’t really do that much this morning.”

    “I haven’t gotten much done either,” Jongdae confessed, and Lu Han nodded at him when he left the room. For some reason, Jongdae felt accomplished, even though he had accomplished absolutely nothing. _You survived a conversation with Yixing gē, at least._ As if whatever happened between them could be called a conversation. Y _ou sat across from him without throwing up._ Yeah.

    He really needed to talk to Yixing, maybe that would wake him up from whatever homosexual nightmare he was trudging through. Maybe Yixing would tell him he was being ridiculous and that would free him, and he could go back to watching straight porn and not losing his shit whenever he turned a corner and saw Yixing standing there. He made his way back to his office and Minseok looked up at him, and gave him a small smile. “Hey, did you eat?”

    “Uhh,” Jongdae looked down at his mostly-full box, “not really. I’ll finish later.” He went over to his desk and sat down, putting the box back into his bag. He stared at his computer blankly, feeling dumb. He had been feeling better when he was with Lu Han, why did just the _thought_ of Yixing make him such a dunce? There had to be some sort of internet chat room he could go to to fix himself, because he was not going to get any work done if all he could do was think about that smile Yixing had given him. _Shit, what a gay thought._ Yixing was like the only straight person in this entire goddamn mob and it felt like Jongdae had fallen for him. _Fallen for him what are you talking about_

_you_

_don’t_

_like_

_guys_

    “Minseok hyung,” Jongdae said quietly, but Minseok heard anyway, and looked up.

    “Yeah?”

    “I don’t feel well.” He sounded pitiful, and Minseok frowned at him.

    “Are you sick?”

    “I want to go home.”

    “You can’t just...go home.”

    “Can I go home?”

    “No.” Minseok stood up and walked over to him, lifting a hand and putting it on Jongdae’s forehead. Jongdae rolled his eyes and looked away, avoiding Minseok’s stare. “You feel fine.”

    “I’m going to throw up.”

    “Go to the bathroom. Do you want me to get you some water?”

    Jongdae stood up from his chair and went to the door, “no thanks, I’ll be okay,” and he went to the bathroom, going into one of the stalls and closing the door behind him. He sat on the ground, ignoring how gross that was, and leaned against the door. He sat there, his brain hurting. Minseok had made him a special lunch, but he puked it all up.


	6. beagle line discusses dicks

    When Jongdae told Minseok that he had thrown up, Minseok changed his tune and told him he should go home. Jongdae gathered all his things as quickly as he could and got himself on the public bus, feeling nauseous as it rocked back and forth. Usually whenever he threw up he felt better afterwards, but he only felt worse. It was only exemplified by the fact that _thinking about being gay for Yixing made him puke_. He felt gross and uncomfortable and damn, when did he get so homophobic? He never had a problem living with Minseok, he didn’t care about what Suho did behind closed doors, he thought Lu Han was one of the prettiest people he’d ever met for god’s sake, and he didn’t have to be gay to realize that.

    He got off the bus and stumbled up to the apartment, kicked his shoes off, and threw his keys on the couch when he made his way in. He dropped his bag on the floor, not wanting to think about it, and then plopped down on the couch face first, groaning as the keys dug into his thigh. He reached down and pulled them out, and rolled over onto his back. He looked up at the ceiling and tried to clear his mind. Maybe if he slept, he would feel better.

    Sleep came easy and the next thing he knew, Minseok was sitting on the couch next to him, his hand on his shoulder, gently rousing him awake. Jongdae mumbled incoherently and blinked, raising a hand to rub at his eyes. “Minseok hyung?”

    “Hey, do you feel any better?”

    “When did you get home?”

    “Like fifteen minutes ago.” Minseok frowned at him. “Did you check to see if you had a fever? Did you drink anything?”

    “I don’t feel so sick anymore...” Jongdae sat up and shook his head, running a hand through his hair. “I fell asleep right when I got home. It’s been what, like four hours?”

    “I suppose.”

    “Damn.” Jongdae sighed and closed his eyes, leaning back against the couch. “I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with me.”

    Minseok didn’t say anything, and the silence made Jongdae’s heart jump. He had been toying with the idea of asking Minseok for help with whatever the fuck had been going on in his brain. He knew Minseok would be supportive. He just didn’t know how to say it. But he needed to, because it had gotten to a point where it was affecting him physically, and that was some sort of horror movie level infatuation.

    “Minseok hyung,” he started, right when Minseok had gotten up from the couch, and Minseok stopped and turned to him.

    “Yes?” Jongdae didn’t say anything. He opened his eyes and looked ahead, but kept his lips shut. Minseok frowned at him. “Jongdae-yah, you’ve been acting very weird lately.”

    He pursed his lips, and whined softly. Now he felt like a douchebag because he was worrying Minseok. “It’s fine, I’m fine, I’ve just been thinking about a lot of things.” He wasn’t lying, at least. He got up and grabbed his bag, trudging over to his room. “I’m just gonna listen to music and try to sleep, okay?”

    “Okay. That’s a good idea. Get some rest.” He heard the sigh in Minseok’s voice, and it made him weak. He closed his bedroom door behind him and stood there for a few moments before dropping his bag down and putting his face in his hands. _If you cry right now I’m gonna hate you so much_. He took a deep breath and straightened out, walked over to his bed and rolled onto it, and reached to his side table to grab his laptop. He opened it and rubbed his eyes when the light shone at him, and he entered his password. Usually his background, a picture of his parents and brother, made him smile, but he wasn’t feeling it right now. iTunes tried to load, and he clicked out of it, waiting for Spotify to come up instead. A little notification popped on the bottom of his screen, and he clicked on the Skype icon.

    He had an unread message from Chanyeol -- just seeing his username, _imyellintimber770_ , made him snort. Chanyeol and Baekhyun had created each other’s Skype accounts and they were equally ridiculous. Chanyeol had changed his Skype icon to a picture of a Starbucks cup with his name on it and that made him laugh, too. He checked the message.

   _i need to have a word with you._

    That was disconcerting. He couldn’t remember the last time Chanyeol used a period. What had he done?

     _hey are you online? what happened_

    Jongdae blinked at the screen; he didn’t know if Chanyeol was still online or not. He had sent the message a few hours ago. He opened his internet browser and tried to distract himself, he went into his email and found the video Baekhyun had sent him this morning. He had been finding solace in these segway wipeout collections.

    A few obnoxious videos later, his Skype icon jumped. Jongdae opened it back up and Chanyeol was online. He could see that Chanyeol was typing, and he waited, but after a few moments nothing came. Jongdae sighed, preparing himself for whatever onslaught of words was about to be thrown his way, but then the call screen appeared.

    He groaned and clicked to answer the video call, adjusting his position in the bed so Chanyeol could see him. The cameras buffered for a while, and then Chanyeol’s face appeared, his room as dark as it usually was. He was looking at something to the side of his desk, and when the video popped up he looked into the camera. “Ahh, Jongdae-yah.”

    “Hey, is something wrong? What’s this word you’re going to have with me?” Chanyeol grinned, and Jongdae wasn’t expecting that. He could hear Chanyeol clicking something on his computer, and he sighed heavily. “Dude, answer me.”

    “I looked at the video history on our shared Pornhub account, you know?”

  _GOD_

_DAMNIT_

_SHIT_

_FUCK_

_NO_

    He had forgotten that once upon a time he had let Chanyeol log into his Pornhub account, Chanyeol had never logged out, and from then on they shared the account together. That was a totally straight thing that straight guys did. But this was a mistake. A grave mistake.

    Apparently Chanyeol noticed how long Jongdae was taking to answer, and his grin was so wide that there was no amount of shit he couldn’t have eaten. Jongdae groaned loudly. “Don’t give me that look!”

    “Explain to me all of the gay porn you’ve been watching.”

    “Chanyeol!”

    “ _Macho dudes in business suits fuck_ ,” Chanyeol said slowly, and Jongdae realized he was reading off the names of videos.

    “Chanyeol, stop it!”

    “ _Searching for wood, scene one_.” Chanyeol let out a chuckle, and Jongdae smacked his computer, as if that would do anything.

    “Would you fucking stop?”

    “And my personal favorite, _Sexploring Quinn_.” Chanyeol stopped, brought his eyes to the camera to make contact with Jongdae’s, and then burst out laughing, loud and rambunctious. Jongdae yelled unintelligibly. Chanyeol calmed down after a moment, and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “Okay, okay, explain this to me. Please. I need to know.”

    Jongdae had been waiting for that, but now that he was prompted, he had no idea what to say. “I had, I was looking, uhm--”

    “Did Minseok hyung take your computer or something?” Chanyeol asked, and Jongdae looked up to see that he was eating chips. He was obviously enjoying himself and it made him upset. Jongdae paused, he could lie and say that was true and leave it at that, but that would be shitty. He couldn’t do that. Chanyeol was his best friend, and he was going to...he was going to _say it out loud_.

    “I’ve been having some fuckin’ issues with my sexuality or something.”

    Chanyeol stopped chewing, and looked at Jongdae through the camera. Jongdae pouted at him. Chanyeol moved his hand and clicked on something.

    “Chanyeol-ah, what are you doing.” Jongdae said tonelessly.

    Chanyeol replied, mouth somewhat full, “I’m adding Baekhyun to the call.”

    “Chanyeol!”

    “No, he needs to hear this.”

    “You’re being kind of an asshole!” Jongdae watched Chanyeol add Baekhyun to the call -- usually _sexaykitten12345_ made him snort but it didn’t this time -- and bit his lip when his screen popped up. Baekhyun’s face appeared after a few moments, sitting on his couch amidst his collection of DVDs and books, most of which were probably porn. His face was hard, with his eyelids low and a look of annoyance on his features.

    “What,” he mumbled, and Jongdae smirked at him.

    “Did you have a long day?”

    “Every day is a long day,” Baekhyun sighed. “What’s this call for? I really want to just be by myself right now.”

    “Jongdae’s gay now,” Chanyeol rushed right out of the gate, and Jongdae’s eyes widened at him.

    “Hey, that’s not fucking true! Chanyeol, shut up!”

    Baekhyun laughed at this, his eyes lighting up. “What the fuck? What the fuck are you talking about?”

    “You tell him, Jongdae-yah,” Chanyeol said, refocusing on his chips with a smile on his face, and Jongdae looked into his camera with as much of a death glare as he could.

    He sighed and calmed down, “I don’t think I’m gay. I definitely still like girls. I’ve just been having a lot of weird thoughts and like, okay, I did something strange last weekend.”

    “What did you do?” Baekhyun looked enthralled at this point, and Jongdae smirked.

    “Okay, so I told you guys about Jingfei, right?”

    “Yeah,” they both replied, and Jongdae nodded.

    “I went to a party with her like, two weeks ago or something? Yeah, and Yixing gē was there, because I guess he just goes to every party or some shit. I talked to him for a while and I introduced him to Jingfei. Okay. So like last week after I came home from a date with her Jingfei sends me this text and she’s basically like, hey you remember that guy we met at the party, well you should totally ask him if he’ll have a threesome with us.”

    There was silence on every end of the Skype call, and Jongdae snorted. “Somebody say something.”

    “Did you do it?” Chanyeol asked, wide-eyed, and Baekhyun made a sound.

    “Of course he did, why else would he be freaking out about his sexuality.”

    “Yeah, I did it.” Jongdae adjusted his seat on his bed. “We did it. Yixing gē is straight and he seemed a little weirded out by it too, but I think I was more weirded out.” Jongdae sighed and rolled his eyes at himself. “They kept looking at me like I was some dweeb who had wandered into the bedroom. I don’t know.”

    “Did you kiss him?” Chanyeol asked. Baekhyun laughed at him.

    “Chan-ah, you sound so interested in this story.” Chanyeol yelled incoherently at him, and then there was a pause. “Did you?” Baekhyun asked, and Jongdae chuckled.

    “Uhh, a little bit.”

    “Did you-- did you have sex with him? Like, in the ass and everything?” Baekhyun grunted.

    Chanyeol's eyes were wide. “How gay did you go? Did you go _full gay_ , Jongdae?”

    “No! There wasn’t any butt stuff. We made out for like ten seconds and he jerked me off. That was all we did with each other.”

    Baekhyun sat back against his couch, and Chanyeol looked to be thinking about something. “I mean, I don’t know, it’s just a threesome.” Baekhyun started. “It doesn’t make you that gay.”

    “It’s not gay unless the balls touch,” Chanyeol joked, and Jongdae rolled his eyes.

    “Yeah. No, it gets worse. I can’t even look at Yixing gē anymore. It’s really weird. I think he’s over whatever went down between us but I’m not? Looking at him makes me kind of sick, but whenever he’s not around I feel like I want him there.” Jongdae stopped. That was definitely the gayest thing he had ever said.

    Apparently Chanyeol and Baekhyun thought that too, because there was a pause on every line. Baekhyun broke the silence with a little laugh. “Are you in love with him? Are you in love with a dude because he touched your dick?”

    “No!” Jongdae yelled, and then quieted down. “Not love. I just.”

    “You have a crush on him,” Chanyeol offered, and Jongdae didn’t know if he could deny that without feeling like he was lying.

    “I...maybe? I don’t know, you guys! I’ve been freaking out about it!”

    “Are you spending too much time with Minseok hyung?” Baekhyun laughed.

    Jongdae growled, “that’s not it! If that’s how it worked then you guys would be fucking night and day now because of all the time you spend around Suho hyung, or is that just something you haven’t been telling me?”

    “Jongdae-yah!” Chanyeol snickered, and waved his hand at the screen. “Okay, okay. That doesn’t really explain why you’ve been watching gay porn.”

    “You’re watching gay porn?” Baekhyun exploded, with a huge grin on his face, and Jongdae wanted to turn down the volume on his laptop, pointlessly afraid that Minseok might be overhearing everything.

    “I watched a few videos! I was just curious, it wasn’t anything serious, it just, it just--”

    “Jongdae-yah, we don’t care.” Chanyeol said, and Baekhyun nodded in agreement.

    “If you’re gay just say so.”

    “I’m not, though!” Jongdae felt defeated, and he slumped against his pillow. “I just don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t! I don’t feel any sort of attraction to any guy but Yixing gē, and it’s probably just because we had a weird sexual encounter, and it doesn’t mean anything, I’m just horny or something, and I still like Jingfei a lot! We’re going to go out this weekend and I’m going to bang her again! Just me! I just want this whole fucking thing with Yixing gē to stop. It’s making it hard to work.”

    “Have you talked to him about it?” Baekhyun ran his fingers over his lips, and Chanyeol cocked his head to the side.

    “Why would that do anything?”

    “Maybe he’s got a little crush on you too,” Baekhyun smirked, and Jongdae started to yell out “it’s not a crush” but Chanyeol was talking over him.

    “I don’t think Jongdae-yah wants to have sex with him again, I mean, do you?”

    “Not one-on-one!” Jongdae frowned, and Chanyeol laughed.

    “But you _do_ , ah?”

    “Only if...Jingfei was there.” Jongdae stopped. “It wasn’t bad sex. It was...good. Some parts of it were really hot. It was like watching porn, kinda.” He lifted a hand to rub at his neck. “Should I talk to Yixing gē? I feel like I want to, but...every time I get close to him I feel like I’m gonna throw up.” He sighed. “I threw up today. I still feel kinda sick.”

    “You _threw_ _up_? Because you’re having gay thoughts?” Chanyeol laughed, and Jongdae made a face at him.

    “I’ve been really stressed out about this, shut up!”

    “It’s fine,” Baekhyun said shortly, and it made Jongdae feel a little bit better. “Maybe talk to him. I dunno. I really don’t know what to say. But try not to throw up on him or anything.” He closed his eyes. “Maybe if he tells you you’re being ridiculous or something it’ll make you stop freaking out, and you can go back to normal.”

    “So is it like he cursed you?” Chanyeol was grinning, and Jongdae looked straight into the camera at him.

    “Yeah. If he was intending to get me out of his life because I was distracting him from work or something he definitely got that done.”

    “I wonder what he thought about having sex with you,” Chanyeol pondered, and then laughed. “I just can’t see you having sex with a guy, Jongdae-yah.”

    “Yeah, neither can I, and that’s why I _didn’t_.” Jongdae snarled at him, and then heard a knock on his door. “Ahh-- I’ll be right back, Minseok hyung wants to talk to me.” He muted his microphone and closed his laptop, and called out, “yeah, come in.”

    Minseok looked mousy and small standing at the door, and Jongdae smiled at him. “Everything okay?”

    “Do you feel better? I can hear you talking.”

    “I’m on a Skype call with Baekhyun and Chanyeol.”

    “Mm.” Minseok came farther into his room, and stopped a few steps before the foot of his bed. He looked guilty.

    “Minseok hyung, what’s up.”

    “Uhm.” His hips were swaying back and forth, and Jongdae couldn’t remember the last time he saw Minseok looking so strange. “So. I looked at the can of fish sauce that we had in the fridge, the stuff that I used to make your lunch. And. It expired last week.”

    Jongdae paused, and then whined, “Minseok hyuuuung!”

    “I know, I know, I’m really sorry! I should’ve checked before I put it in, I’m sorry.” He frowned and sat on the foot of Jongdae’s bed, and Jongdae pouted at him.

    “It’s all your fault I got sick. You should do all the work I missed.”

    “I’m not going to do that,” Minseok said plainly, a little smile on his face, and he put his hand on Jongdae’s foot, patting it gently. “But I’m really sorry. And I promise not to put anything bad in anything I make for you again. I’ll make you something for dinner tomorrow, anything you want. And I won’t poison it.”

    “Wahh, should I go to the store with you?”

    “No, I can go by myself. What do you want?”

    Jongdae paused, a million thoughts racing through his head. Usually Minseok just made whatever he wanted to make and Jongdae would eat it, _and holy hot damn he could have anything he wanted_ , this was new and undiscovered territory and he was excited.

    “Tell me before I go to the store tomorrow, please,” Minseok was smirking at him, and Jongdae perked up.

    “No, I got it! Will you make bulgogi? Is that possible? Can you get that stuff here?”

    Minseok paused, and bit his lip. “I can look in the store. I can do that.”

    “Thank you, Minseok hyung!” Jongdae jumped up and hugged him, and Minseok laughed, embracing him shortly before pulling away.

    “It’s so easy to get you to forgive me, I just need to bribe you with food.”

    “You should’ve learned that earlier,” Jongdae laughed at him, and Minseok nodded and got up from his bed.

    “I’ll let you get back to your friends.”

    “Thank you,” Jongdae repeated, and Minseok nodded at him again and left the room, closing the door behind him. Jongdae opened his laptop and turned his microphone back on, he was greeted by Chanyeol and Baekhyun discussing some anime they had been watching -- Jongdae really hated being in a different country because it made it hard to watch anime all together -- but they stopped when they saw Jongdae’s screen light up. “Hey,” they both said, and then Baekhyun went right into it, “so did you watch all the other scenes in _Searching for wood_ , or just the first one?”

    Jongdae groaned over the sound of Chanyeol’s raucous laughter. “Shut up.”

    “I think we should all watch some gay porn together sometime,” Chanyeol said, barely able to keep a straight face, “so you don’t feel like the odd man out.”

    “We could critique it.”

    “And write a review on some website.”

    His friends’ musing made him smile, and Jongdae shook his head. “Nah, I don’t really think that’s something I want to do.”

    “Fair enough.” Baekhyun clicked something on his screen, and then declared, “since I didn’t want to be on this call anyway, and I think we’ve figured out all your gay shit, I’m gonna go.”

    “You’ve been acting like such an old man lately,” Jongdae smirked at him, and Baekhyun made a face.

    “I’m the only one of us who actually does any work.”

    “Jongdae-yah will start doing work again once he stops having sticky dreams about Yixing.” Jongdae wanted to punch Chanyeol but he was miles away, so he was content to just stick up his middle finger at him.

    Chanyeol laughed, and Baekhyun snickered quietly, “bye all,” and then clicked out of the call.

    Chanyeol and Jongdae sat there in silence for a few moments, which was not that uncommon, and Chanyeol said, “I think I’ll go too, since you’re sick.”

    “Ahh! Minseok hyung fed me expired food, he just told me!”

    “Oh man, really?”

    “Yeah! So there! I’m not puking over gay shit, I’m puking over bad cooking!”

    “That’s good. Or, not good, you know what I mean.” Chanyeol shrugged. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow, ahh?”

    “Okay, I’ll see you.”

    “Feel better,” he said, and clicked out of the call. Jongdae relaxed against his pillow and stared at the chat screen. Even though they had mostly just made fun of him, talking to them had made him feel a little better. He closed Skype and went back to his internet browser, but stopped, because he had no idea how to search for “how to talk to a straight dude you had a threesome with about your awkward feelings for him” in a precise way. He thought that maybe he should’ve brought that up with Minseok, but actually, that probably wouldn’t have helped either. He would just have to...actually do it.

    He sighed and closed his laptop, not particularly wanting to go on it. He still felt tired, because he was always feeling tired lately, and he moved his laptop to his side table and started to strip his clothes off. When he was down to his boxers he slipped under his covers and grabbed his phone, scrolled through it, the last time Jingfei had texted him was this morning; a cute good morning text with a heart in it. He had replied likewise, and since then there was no conversation. Whatever. That was some sort of relationship. He closed his phone and put it on the bed next to him, and took a deep breath.

    It made him feel a lot better knowing that he hadn’t thrown up because he looked at Yixing. It was bad food, or stress, or a combination of the two. He turned over on his side and pushed his head into his pillow. He hoped for sweet dreams, especially ones without Yixing in them, and sleep came as quickly as before.


	7. (nsfw) jongdae has a dream

    In his dream that night there were red satin sheets and charcoal pillowcases. The color scheme reminded Jongdae faintly of Kris’ office, but he paid it no mind. Instead he grabbed Yixing by his collar and threw him down to the bed, and sighed slowly when Yixing started on the buttons of Jongdae’s shirt, getting them undone in record time and pulling his shirt off. Jongdae climbed on top and straddled him, pulling Yixing up by his collar and kissing him, long and slow. He undid the first few buttons and Yixing put his hands on Jongdae’s, taking over the unbuttoning with more speed. Jongdae placed kisses all along Yixing’s neck and down to his clavicles. Yixing pulled his shirt off and immediately started on his pants, laying back down on the bed and lifting his hips up to give himself leverage. Jongdae hummed to himself and rolled his hips against Yixing’s, enjoying the sound that gave him; Yixing’s groans were always music to his ears. Yixing pulled his jeans down just enough to get out what he wanted, and he grabbed the back of Jongdae’s neck, pulling him down to his level, and then leading him down to his hips.

    Jongdae grinned when Yixing pushed his face against the bulge in his pants. “Eager,” he said, and ignored the little huff Yixing gave him. He pulled Yixing’s boxers down and laughed when his dick sprung out at him. He immediately put it in his mouth and reveled in the heavy breath that escaped Yixing’s lips. He licked all around it and pulled up, spitting on the tip and grinning up at Yixing. Yixing smirked and patted his head, and moved to cross his hands behind his head. Jongdae closed his eyes and sucked up and down, going faster, and Yixing groaned. “Fuck, you’re so hot.”

    Jongdae pulled away and pumped Yixing’s cock in his hand. “Mm, I know.” He smiled and licked around the tip, and then took it back into his mouth.

    Yixing let out a high-pitched noise when he felt his cock hit the back of Jongdae’s throat. “Fuck!”

    Jongdae had read enough articles online that he was pretty sure he knew what he was doing. He went up and down the base of Yixing’s dick, loving the feel and taste and just its presence in his mouth. Jongdae was the god of dick-sucking; Yixing’s moans told him so.

    “Goddamn, when did you learn how to do this.” Yixing sounded breathless. “You know just what to do with my manly firmness--”

    Jongdae woke up. Holy shit. That was a phrase Chanyeol had read out loud jokingly to him from one of his old history textbooks. His heart felt light and he was surprised he wasn’t drenched in a cold sweat. _What. The. Fuck._ Now was no time to be having sex dreams about Yixing-- there was _never_ a time to be having sex dreams about Yixing. He had fucking figured out what he wanted to do a few hours ago. Why was this happening. _No_.

    The erection straining against his boxers was difficult to ignore, but he tried his best anyway. He wasn’t going to acknowledge it. He had erections in his sleep all the time. It didn’t have anything to do with his weird dream. And even if it did, it was a sex dream, it was supposed to turn him on, even if it didn’t turn him on in real life maybe in dream land it turned him on and okay Jongdae calm down--

    He sat up in his bed and looked over at his clock -- it was around two in the morning. He blinked at the little red lights a few times and then pulled his undershirt over his head because he felt hot -- wow that was a thought he shouldn’t be having. A sex dream about Yixing got him all hot and bothered. He was. He was sucking Yixing’s dick. In the dream. And he was good at it. And he liked doing it. And. And.

    He had never sucked a dick before in his life and he didn’t want to and he felt like he was going to die

    Was this something he should tell Yixing? _Fuck no_. Maybe if you tell him you’re having nightmares about him he’ll be more sympathetic. _It’s not a nightmare if you weren’t scared in the dream, was it?_ It was a nightmare in real life. _Why is dream me good at giving blowjobs_.

    Now he was curious, he wanted to know if he was actually good at giving blowjobs. _DON’T GO DOWN THIS ROAD MAN_. It was a legitimate question! _YOU’RE GONNA PUKE ON THE NEXT DICK YOU SEE_. No, no, no, no, no.

    Jongdae almost grabbed his phone and texted Yixing, ready to yell at him for invading his mind; at first it was nearly impossible to get through the day, and now he was worming his sexy little way into Jongdae’s dreams. Yixing had a ridiculous hold on him and he needed to get free if Jongdae ever wanted to be _sane_ again. Shit.

    He was not going to go into Minseok’s room and tell him he had a nightmare and wanted to sleep with him. That would probably make everything worse and he really didn’t want to have a sex dream about his hyung. He collapsed back onto his bed and closed his eyes, gritting his teeth and wanting to cry, but he was not going to do that because this was the silliest thing to cry over. He didn’t really want to go back to sleep, but he knew he had to because he had to go to work tomorrow...he turned onto his side and groaned, recognizing his erection once more. He tried to think about that time he and Chanyeol ordered sheep’s brain in a restaurant and dared Baekhyun to eat it and he did, but it did little to scare away the tent in his boxers. Damnit. He was just going to have to sleep with it there.


	8. jongdae is talking to yixing ok

    Jongdae had given himself a week to prepare and he was ready for it. He had had a few more sex dreams -- luckily not all of them were about Yixing, some of them had been about faceless dudes, which was weird enough, but he was glad none of them had any butt stuff, it was always just Jongdae sucking people off. Which was. Weird. And new. He had never had those kind of dreams before. But he figured that maybe if he actually did it he’d stop wondering about it so much.

    The only person he thought it acceptable to ask to do such a huge favor for him was Yixing, since he owned the only other penis Jongdae had ever seen. And he was going to do it. He was going to do it! And he was pretty sure Yixing was going to say yes, and then it would be showtime.

    It was only until he caught himself in the men’s restroom, buttoning up his cuffs and fixing his hair in the mirror, did Jongdae realize he was being kind of gay about this. It’s not like he was asking Yixing out on a date. This was just a casual activity between two individuals. He didn’t have to try to seduce him or anything. He sighed and ruffled his hair, staring at his reflection. This was going to be weird but whatever. He left the bathroom and tried to walk with authority to Yixing’s office, keeping his eyes trained forward and a little furrow in his brow. He was a strong, independent man who could get what he wanted.

    He knocked on Yixing’s door, and heard Yixing make some sort of sound indicating that he could come in. Jongdae stepped in, trying to keep his bravado up, but finding himself faltering a bit once he was in Yixing’s presence. Yixing was fussing around in one of his cabinets, not looking at the door, and Jongdae cleared his throat. “Ahh, Yixing gē. Can I talk to you?”

    “Is this about work?” Yixing’s response did not lighten Jongdae’s heart.

    Jongdae swallowed and hesitated, “Uhm, not really.” _What does that mean. It has nothing to do with work at all._

    Yixing picked a folder out of his file cabinet and straightened himself out, opening it and looking through it while he spoke. “Okay.” Jongdae felt bad about how he had trained Yixing into conceding to all of his awkward requests, but he wasn’t going to fret about it right now. “I have to get this to someone downstairs.”

    “Ahh, I can run it for you.” Jongdae said, and he took a step back when Yixing walked over to the door.

    “No, I got it. Walk with me.”

    Jongdae felt his knees buckle as he followed Yixing out the door. Yixing’s steps were relaxed and elongated, and Jongdae had to readjust his walk to them. “So, uhm, it’s about...this sleeping problem I have. I don’t know. You’re the only person I could think to talk to about it.”

    “Okay,” Yixing sounded uninterested, and Jongdae swallowed. Was he going to open with his budding sexuality crisis? He thought he had planned it all out, but as per usual, seeing Yixing made his mind go blank. “Do you think I sleep a lot or something?”

    “What? No, I don’t,” Jongdae frowned, and Yixing smirked.

    “I’m always sort of asleep.” Yixing brought him to the stairs, looked down them, thought about it, and then started over towards the elevator. “What is it?”

    “I’ve been having dreams that I’m not used to.” Jongdae had planned that sentence in advance, the exact wording and all, because Chinese was scary sometimes and he wanted to make sure Yixing didn’t think this was some sort of gay nonsense or something; it wasn’t gay nonsense, at least he was pretty sure it wasn’t. “And you’re in some of them.”

    Yixing pressed the elevator button on the wall and nodded. “Is there some kind of prophecy I’m warning you about?”

    Kind of? Jongdae laughed nervously. “Uhh, no,” he played with his hands in front of him, and cursed himself for being so goddamn nervous. Yixing was looking at him, and it made him want to shit himself. “It’s--” and now the look Yixing was giving him was downright smug, and Jongdae was afraid that Yixing knew what he was about to say, but just wanted to hear him say it. “You remember, like, how we did, how we did the thing, right?”

    Yixing blinked at him, and moved into the elevator when the door opened. Jongdae was a little thankful for the distraction. “I’m sorry, repeat that.” Yixing told him, and pressed a button on the wall, watching the doors close before looking back to Jongdae. “I don’t know that much Korean.”

    Jongdae hadn’t even noticed he had switched over to his mother tongue. “Ohh, I’m sorry.” He swallowed and tried again in Chinese. “Like a few weeks ago we had the date with Jingfei, right?” He wasn’t lying, because they technically did go on a date-thing beforehand, it was just the happenings that followed that were probably the most important part of that night.

    Yixing smirked and nodded, staring ahead at the buttons. “Yeah. Are you dreaming about that?”

    Jongdae bit the inside of his mouth. “Sort of.”

    “Go on.”

    “Uhh...” Chinese wasn’t coming to him, and he cleared his throat. “I keep having dreams where I’m, uhm, I’m giving...activities...to other guys...” That was an oddly worded sentence but he hoped Yixing would be able to figure it out. Apparently he did, because his smirk grew.

    “Of what kind?”

    “Of...uhm. Oral sex.” His throat felt dry and Yixing’s face looked blank as he nodded.

    “Okay. That’s-- that’s normal, you know, right?” His tone of voice made it sound like he was trying to explain sex to a pre-teen, and it made Jongdae a little upset.

    “Yeah, sex dreams are normal, whatever. But I don’t ever dream about giving other guys head.”

    “You’re dreaming about giving me head, then?” The blunt way Yixing asked it made Jongdae want to die.

    “...yes,” Jongdae conceded, “it’s not always you, but it’s been you, a few times.”

    Yixing didn’t say anything for a moment, and exhaled when the elevator doors opened. He led Jongdae out and down one of the hallways. “Why are you telling me this, Jongdae.”

    “Because--” this was weird, this was weird, this was weird “--I want to see what happens if I do it in real life. If it’ll go away or not. And I kind of want to do it to you?" There was an incredibly long silence, one in which Jongdae saw his entire life flash before his eyes twice forward and once in reverse. After this silence Yixing actually stopped in his tracks and looked at Jongdae with narrow eyes, Jongdae caught himself before he walked by him. “Gē? I’m sorry, I’m sorry, was that--”

    “What did you just say?” Yixing looked very confused, and Jongdae was terrified that he was about to get punched in the face.

    “I’m sorry! I wasn’t, I didn’t--”

    “No, Jongdae, shut up. You just said something really weird. Like your pronunciation was off and I’m, I’m _pretty_ sure you said something wrong--” Yixing broke out into a laugh, and Jongdae calmed down a bit. “Just repeat what you said.”

    Jongdae said it again, slower, and Yixing didn’t look any less confused. “Uhm. I. Context is telling me that you’re saying something wrong.”

    “Really?” Jongdae could feel his face burning red. “What did I say? I’m not really sure about-- all of this in Chinese--”

    “Uhh, I don’t think I really know how to say it in Korean, but--” they got to the door Yixing was looking for, and he knocked on it, waited a few seconds for a response, and turned the doorknob. It stuck, and he sighed, dropping the folder into the inbox that was posted on the door. “Damnit.” He shrugged and turned on his heel, going back down the hallway and beckoning Jongdae to follow him. Jongdae did. “It’s sexual, so I don’t want to ask anyone.”

     _Oh lord._ “Yixing gē, I’m so sorry.”

    “Say it again.” Jongdae bit his tongue and repeated it, Yixing laughed out loud, and shook his head. “Okay. _Yīnnáng_. Long first tone, short and upwards second. Can you say that?”

    Jongdae said it, slower, and was very intimidated by the smile on Yixing’s face. “Okay, god. Better.” He laughed to himself. “I just taught you how to say scrotum, good lord.”

    Jongdae’s face fell. “Wait, what? What did-- what did I say?”

    Yixing looked surprised. “Did I say that right? In Korean? Damn, couldn’t tell you where I picked that up--” he laughed, and pressed the button by the elevator, and the doors opened immediately. They went inside and Yixing pressed the button to take them back down, “Jongdae-yah, you just asked me something about scraping-- or rather, you said exfoliating, I think that’s the word-- a scrotum. And I’m like, I don’t think I’m the person you should be asking about that, but. You know.”

    Now Jongdae was one hundred percent sure he wanted to die. “Did I _really_? Fuck! I’m so sorry! I hate this,” he burst out laughing, completely amused with himself, and Yixing laughed along with him.

    “It’s okay. God. Can you try rewording what you were trying to ask me?”

    “Oral sex,” Jongdae said, through chuckles, trying to slow himself down and use smaller words. “I want to give it. To. You.”

    There was another silence, and Jongdae could feel that it was heavier. He stopped his laughter and tried to calm himself down, and Yixing made a short grunting sound. “Well.”

    “Fuck, I’m so sorry, this is so inappropriate--”

    “Calm down.” Yixing shoved his hands in his pockets and looked forward at the doors. “Jongdae, this is...you’ve been caught up on this sort of thing lately and I don’t really think I’m who you should be talking to.”

    Jongdae bit his lip. “So, no.”

    “No. I’m not gay, Jongdae.”

    Jongdae looked down at the floor, and sighed. “I mean, is it-- is it really that gay if two straight guys do it, like, I don’t...”

    Yixing let out a breathy sound, and made a face. “Of course it is! What are you talking about?” The doors opened, and Yixing left without motioning at Jongdae.

    Jongdae followed, a little slower than before. “Gē, I’m sorry...”

    “It’s-- it’s fine. I won’t think about it.” Yixing sighed, and led Jongdae down the hallway, and stopped in front of Jongdae’s office door. He turned around and poked Jongdae in the chest, looking at him. “If you’re having problems with your identity, talk to Minseok gē. You and I had sex but that doesn’t mean I can help you. I’m sorry.”

    “Yixing gē...”

    “Yeah?”

    Jongdae was disappointed, but about what he wasn’t exactly sure. “I’m sorry. This was so weird of me and I’ll stop bringing it up. I’m just kind of, I’m just kind of fucked up right now.”

    “Talk to Minseok gē about it, then.” Yixing nodded definitively. “That’s that. No more. No worries, okay? And please stop dreaming about me. Or at least try to.”

    Jongdae attempted a laugh and nodded fervently. “Yes, yes.”

    “Thanks. Feel better.” Yixing patted Jongdae on the shoulder and took off back to his office, and Jongdae sighed heavily, thinking over how weird of a last thing to say that was. Feel better. As if he had some sort of medical problem. He went back into his office and was very unenthused to find Minseok there, but he wasn’t expecting anything different.

    “Hey.”

    “Hey, you were gone for a while. Everything okay?”

    Jongdae didn’t want to look over at Minseok, he knew those big eyes were brimming with worry and paternal instincts and he wasn’t in the mood. “Yeah, I’m fine.” He dropped down into his chair and tried to situate himself at his desk. So his blowjob problem wasn’t going to end today. He hoped that he wasn’t going to have another weird dream tonight. He shook his mouse to get the computer started again, and stared blankly at the screen. He went to a search engine and let his eyes go out of focus on it. He didn’t know what he was looking for, so he closed it.

  He opened his mouth to speak, to say something, anything at all, to Minseok, like Yixing had told him, but he didn’t want to say anything right now, so he didn’t. He was going to have to think that through, and get back to him. He would do that later. Right now he was just going to...wallow in whatever post-rejection sadness was coming over him. He scoffed quietly at himself. Yixing had told him he didn’t want him sucking his dick and now he was sad about it. Okay, Jongdae. Okay.


	9. yixing and kris are criminals

    “So I just got asked something weird,” Yixing’s legs were crossed as he lounged on the couch in Kris’ office, watching smoke billow from his lit joint into the air with half-lidded eyes.

    Kris snorted at him, rolling his shirt sleeves up around his elbows, and leaning from his desk chair so he could take the joint from his friend. “What was that?”

    “No, no.” Yixing shook his hand, dismissing the idea, and watched Kris smoke shortly before smirking. “If you had a sex dream about someone, is it appropriate to tell them about it? Like...not even the details, just the fact that it had occurred.”

    Kris made a face and handed the joint to Yixing, but Yixing pushed it back to him. Kris shrugged and took another hit, speaking with smoke wafting out of his mouth, “I wouldn’t do it. I can’t imagine anyone in that situation being...not comfortable.”

    “Uncomfortable is the word you’re looking for,” Yixing took the joint away from him and took an expert inhale, Kris rolled his eyes at him. “Have you ever had a sex dream about me?”

    “What?”

    “I am comfortable in this situation.”

    “I’m not.” Kris looked at him incredulously, and Yixing burst out laughing. “I’m taking it as a yes, and you know I don’t care."

    Kris didn’t say anything, just looked away from Yixing’s face. “What did you get asked earlier?”

    “What’s that?”

    “You said earlier that someone asked you something weird.”

    “Oh.” Yixing sat there, watching the joint smoke, and then took a short hit of it. “Jongdae asked me if he could give me a blowjob.”

    There was silence, and Kris squawked, an undignified sound that Yixing was a little too used to hearing. Yixing snorted at him, slowly realized the seriousness of what he had just said, and then broke into laughter, leaning back against the couch until he had curled up on it. Kris grabbed the joint from him before he ashed it on the leather and stood up, looking around before taking another hit. “What are you--” he coughed, and Yixing was too busy laughing at himself to laugh at Kris. “What are you talking about? You can’t just...” he leaned over and tried to rouse Yixing back to normalcy. “You can’t drop that bomb and then walk away. Come on.”

    Yixing sat up as Kris moseyed back to his chair, and he wiped the side of his eye with his finger, chuckling before letting out a tiny cough. “Sorry. Ahh, Jongdae and I were talking, he said he had a sex dream about me, and then he asked me if he could suck my dick.” He shrugged. “That’s really all of the story.”

    “I thought he was straight. Didn’t he have a girlfriend or something?”

    Yixing blinked. “He’s sort of seeing someone. I went out with them, actually. Yeah. I slept with him and his girlfriend.”

    Kris stared at him with his brow furrowed, and then sighed. “Okay, Yixing, you’re terrible at telling stories. This is a lot of information to take in at once.”

    “He said he wasn’t gay.” Yixing shook his head, and snapped his fingers at Kris. Kris gave him a dirty look, but handed the joint to him anyway. Yixing took a long hit and sighed it out slowly, closing his eyes. “When we were talking. He seems really freaked out by the whole thing. I guess he just wasn’t ready to have sex with another guy. I think it was his girlfriend’s idea.

    “Poor kid.” Kris grunted. “He could’ve just said no.”

    “I should’ve said no to him. His knees were trembling when he asked me.” Yixing shrugged. “Whatever, it doesn’t matter. So I kickstarted a sexuality crisis. Probably not the first time I’ve done that.”

    Kris laughed, and looked over at his computer when the screen flashed on. “Shit,” he sighed, and opened the Skype screen. Suho was calling him, and he didn’t feel like dealing with that right now, so he didn’t. He let it ring and turned back to Yixing. “Is he okay?”

    “I dunno. He’ll be okay. He just needs time to figure himself out.” He leaned over and ashed the joint in the ashtray on Kris’ desk, and got to his feet, going around behind Kris’ chair and looking at the screen. “Is this important?”

    “Probably not.” Kris shook his head. “How do you-- how do you just casually get straight guys to want to sleep with you? What kind of magnetism is that?”

    “If I could give it to you, I would. I’m as interested in having sex with men as Jongdae is.” Yixing snorted. “And I know you’d find it useful.”

    “Be quiet.”

    “I’m just saying.” He handed the joint to Kris, who took it gratefully and took a long inhale. Yixing watched him with glazed eyes, and smirked at the cloudy smoke in the air. “We should open a window.”

    “No, I like it like this.” Kris coughed when he exhaled, and his Skype screen jumped once more. Suho was calling him again. He tried to sigh but it came out as more of a groan, and looked over at Yixing. “Should I answer this?”

    “Are you too high?”

    “I don’t think so.” Kris waved towards the window. “Open it now.” Yixing did as he was told, and Kris answered the Skype call, trying to sit up as straight as he could and look intimidating. His reflection in the webcam looked normal, so he wasn’t going to freak out. Suho’s excited little face showed up on his screen, and Yixing returned to his rightful place standing behind Kris’ chair. He waved cutely at the webcam, and Kris scowled, swatting him away. “Yixing, come on."

    “Annyeong~” Yixing smiled, and Kris pushed him.

    Suho was laughing, and waved back at Yixing. “Hi there.”

    “What’s going on, hyung?” Kris cleared his throat, and Suho smiled.

   “Are you okay?” Suho asked slowly. 

   “I’m fine. Come on, you’re the one who called me.”

   “Okay, this is short. But it’s important. I’m calling Minseok and Jongdae back this week, I really need them here. I’m paying for airfare and all that. I just need your okay.”

   Kris blinked at him, pretending to think about it. “We have a lot of paperwork here.”

   “They can bring it with them.”

   “It’s the kind that has to stay in the office.”

   “Well then, that’s too bad. I need them back here.” Suho’s face was hard and Kris figured he wasn’t going to take no for an answer. He did that too often.

   “I guess there isn’t anything I can do. How long are you going to keep them?”

   “No more than a week, if everything goes the way I’d like it to. I still have yet to talk to them, but it’s good to have your permission.” Suho nodded and sat back in his chair. “That’s all I need.”

    “What’s happening?” Yixing asked, and Kris exhaled loudly at Yixing’s unabashed confidence when he was under the influence.

    Suho gazed at him, and shook his head. “It’s nothing to do with the Chinese unit, so I’m not going to tell you. Just worry about yourselves.”

    “Alright.” Yixing nodded and shuffled away, and Kris put his hand on the mouse. “Is that all, hyung?”

    “Yeah. I’ll have Minseok and Jongdae clear everything with you. Thanks, Kris,” he said, waiting for Kris to give him a final “goodbye, hyung”, and then hung up.

    Kris sighed heavily when the call was over, and looked up at the ceiling, watching the faint smoke swirl around itself. “Goddamnit,” he grumbled, and when he looked over Yixing was back on the couch, finishing off the joint. “What were Minseok and Jongdae working on, again?”

    “They’re not my division.”

    “You should at least know that.”

    “I can’t remember. Shouldn’t _you_ be the one who keeps track of all that?”

    “I know, I just-- I just can’t remember.” Kris blinked. “Well, whatever. Maybe this little vacation or whatever the fuck it is will be good for him.”

    “For who?”

    “Jongdae.”

    Yixing snorted. “You’re still thinking about him? That’s sweet, boss.”

    “I don’t want him to be distracted!” Kris argued, and shook his head, looking away. “Whatever.”

    “You act as if it’s my fault. Well, it kind of is.” Yixing stood up and pulled at his cufflinks, looking around Kris’ office. “I’m gonna head out. You want me to close the window?”

    “No, it’s fine.” Kris dismissed him with his hand. “Thanks. Get out. Do work.”

    “See you, boss.” Yixing left and closed Kris’ heavy door behind him, smirking when he didn’t see huge clouds of smoke trail behind him.


	10. jongdae comes to terms with himself

    Jongdae was straight-up done with himself at this point, because he was having trouble getting himself out of bed and ready to go to work due to the fear of having an unwanted boner while passing by Yixing’s office door. He remembered how he had been teased for being “gay” in high school when he had gotten his ear pierced, and he wondered how severe the teasing would be in his current line of work. He closed his door shut behind him after coming home from the convenience store, with a bag of instant ramen packets and aloe water in his hand. He put it on his desk and flopped face-first down onto his bed, trying to kick his shoes off by flailing his legs, and finding this more difficult than he had expected. He straightened himself out and took his shoes off by hand, letting them drop to the floor.

    He thought back to the terrible things Baekhyun and Chanyeol said about their boss’ homosexuality in passing, and took a deep breath. He knew Baekhyun and Chanyeol would (probably) not hate him if he were to be _bisexual_ or whatever the right term was, but still, having shit being said about him behind his back by his two best friends was not something he desired.

    He threw himself down onto the bed and stared up at the ceiling. He couldn’t remember the last time his life was _normal_ , when he wasn’t plagued by his asshole voice telling him that he should go out and find a dick to suck, or when he wasn’t thinking about what Yixing was up to right this moment, and he _hated_ it, he wanted to go back to being a regular straight dude or hell, even some regular bisexual dude who wasn’t constantly worrying about his morphing identity. He took his suit jacket off and put it down on his bed, and then rose to his feet again. He needed to do something about it. Maybe write on some online forum for questioning youth or talk to some gay dude or _something_.

    He paused. Minseok was only a room away. Maybe it was time for him to call him to action -- he had been toying with the idea for some time, and it’s all he could think of at the moment. He stood there, hesitant, thinking it over. He was pretty sure it wouldn’t completely change his relationship with his hyung. Hell, it probably wouldn’t change anything at all. _It’s just your sexuality, dude. Calm the fuck down._

    When he left his room he closed his door as quietly as possible, afraid that any sort of loud noise would startle him right out of his socks. He was too fucking high-strung. He rapped his knuckles on Minseok’s door as soon as he got to it so he couldn’t back out at the last moment. This was going to happen.

    Minseok answered his door and Jongdae’s heart caught in his throat. “Ahh, Minseok gē, I need to talk to you. I don’t feel well.” He made a face at himself, surprised with his choice of words. “I mean mentally. I’m. I need your help.”

    Minseok gave him a quizzical look, but stepped back to let him into his room anyway. Jongdae made a beeline to sit down on his bed, and Minseok cleared his throat. “Jongdae, why are you speaking in Chinese? We’re at home.”

    Jongdae paused. He hadn’t even noticed his odd language choice. He switched to more comfortable Korean, “oh, I...I don’t know. I’m used to it by now, I guess.” He shrugged, and looked anywhere but at Minseok, who went over to sit in his desk chair facing him.

    “What can I do?”

     _Fix me._ “I’ve been having...weird dreams.” It seemed that was the safe way to bring up the subject, as he had done before with Yixing. Just blame it on his subconscious. He thought it over, trying to come up with something else to say, before breaking and putting his face in his hands. “God, fuck, this is so weird to say to you! I’m sorry. I’m sorry! But I don’t know what to do. I had sex with Yixing hyung and--” he caught himself and his eyes widened, “no, I didn’t, I had a threesome with him. And Jingfei. And it was weird. And now I’m dreaming about him. And I don’t want to be gay.” He paused. “No offense.” He paused again, and finally looked up at Minseok. It felt good to purge himself like that, but he knew that now Minseok had to deal with all the word vomit.

    Minseok stared at him with his hands in his lap for the most uncomfortable moment of Jongdae’s life. Before Jongdae looked away from him out of sheer embarrassment, he spoke up, softly, “You-- you had a threesome with Yixing?” There was a sort of curiosity in Minseok’s eyes, which Jongdae would have found amusing at any other time. It faded quickly though, when Minseok shook his head. “I mean--” he paused, and Jongdae felt bad for making Minseok so flustered. “But _are_ you gay? I mean, have you been attracted to-- or rather, been having dreams about-- other men? Or you could be bi or something of course-- or nothing at all!” He hesitated. “I mean, straight. Um...”

    Jongdae choked out a laugh, and pursed his lips. “Sometimes, I think, I don’t know, I just know that the ones about Yixing hyung are the ones I really remember and that’s. That’s. I don’t like that.”

    “Is that why you’ve been so weird at work?” Minseok’s eyes were clear as they bored into him, and Jongdae felt see-through. Minseok noticed everything, even when he was in the background.

    “Yeah. Every time I see him it’s so awkward.”

    “Have you talked to him about it?” He paused, and he started on, “maybe that would be a bad idea--”

    “Yeah, I did,” Jongdae cut him off, and they both stopped, looking at each other. Jongdae cleared his throat. “Was that-- was it really bad? Not the right thing to do? Shit, did I--”

    “I’m just guessing, I don’t know,” Minseok backtracked, and shook his hands in front of him, “I don’t know how Yixing would react. Was he okay with it?”

    “I...think. I never know what he’s actually thinking.” Jongdae sighed. “He told me to...well, he actually told me to talk to you. So I guess I’m doing that right now.” He blinked. “He didn’t seem to want to do anything more with me.”

    Minseok crossed his legs, looking pensive. “Jongdae-yah, if you’re having feelings for Yixing, that are like, outside of the normal realm of platonic admiration or whatever, then you’re probably not entirely straight. Which is _completely_ fine.” He smiled softly at him. “Really. You don’t know these things right away. Sometimes they just have to develop.”

    Jongdae bit his lip. Minseok was so nice to him, he had no idea why he hadn’t come to him earlier, even if he was just telling him things he didn’t want to hear. “I’m not, like, I don’t think I want to do anything...sexual with other men. I think...” He trailed off, and took a breath; he didn’t know if he should say anything more. “I’m not into anything regarding anyone’s asshole -- like, anyone’s, in general, no assholes, thanks -- but I think I might...really...be interested in giving somebody a blowjob?” The way his voice went upwards at the end of that horrible sentence made him want to shoot himself in the dick. He could feel his face burning bright red. _What kind of a thing to say to your roommate._ He paused, and then his face shot up, his eyes widening to the size of satellites when he realized the implications of what he had just said. “Minseok hyung I’m not propositioning you oh god.”

    Minseok was blinking at him with a plainly tickled smile playing on his face, and he shook his head. “I figured that, Jongdae. No worries.”

    “So what does that mean? What kind of _bi_ is that? Or am I just a straight guy who sucks dick?” He scoffed at himself. “You’re right, I mean. I’m not totally straight. Fine.”

    “It’s okay, Jongdae.” Minseok smiled at him.

    “I know. I know. I’m just stressed out about it.”

    “I don’t really know what I can say to you, other than you shouldn’t freak out and I’m here for you...” Minseok turned around in his chair and waved his computer mouse to bring up the blue screen. “And if this progresses, you know you have a good support system. Lu Han and I are always around to talk if you feel weird. And Suho’s gay too...” He logged onto his computer. “I’m sorry, that reminded me of something.”

    “Mm?” Jongdae had been half-tuning out of the conversation, turning over the idea of being bisexual in his mind. Now that he had been properly diagnosed by a real live gay person, it was feeling more real. “What’s that?”

    “Suho sent me an email today, he’s calling the two of us back home for a week.”

    “What? Why? We’re not supposed to go back until the start of next month.”

    “It has to do with that informant Lu Han shot, I think. There’s something stopping us from getting further information on all that went down that night and Suho wants to talk to us in person.” Minseok sighed, clicking about his computer, and then brought up the email. Jongdae got up to look at it over Minseok’s shoulder. “He said he can get us plane tickets as early as tomorrow.”

    Jongdae groaned. “Does this mean we won’t get our break next month?”

    “I don’t know.” There was a smirk in Minseok’s voice, but Jongdae chose to ignore it. “This might be good, hmm? We’ll get to go home and maybe have some peace and quiet. You can try to relax with your friends and get your mind off of everything over here, right?” He turned around in his chair and smiled at Jongdae.

    Jongdae sighed and moved to sit back down on the bed, but didn’t go that far. “Yeah, I guess so. I want some good food.”

    “I don’t know if that’s a crack about my cooking or not.” Minseok turned back to his computer. “Jongdae-yah, you know if you need anything you can always come to me.”

    “I know, hyung.” Jongdae nodded. “Thanks. For. For sitting through that and not laughing at me or something.”

    “I wouldn’t laugh at you.” Minseok patted his hands in his lap, looking at the email on his screen. “I’ll talk to Suho and figure out what’s going to happen in the coming days, okay? Try and figure out what to pack up. We’re going to be gone for a week.”

    “Okay. Thanks, hyung.” Jongdae left Minseok’s room, feeling a little bit lighter than before. He went back to his own room and pulled a bottle of aloe water out of his bag, and went over to his bed. He was not thrilled about going home and hanging out with his casually homophobic friends, but there was nothing he could do about it. He would just keep his mouth shut. There was nothing that Baekhyun and Chanyeol needed to know right now.

    He pulled out his phone, wanting to send a text to Jingfei, but he didn’t know what to say. They had been talking regularly, but they hadn’t been seeing each other in person as much as they used to. Jongdae hadn’t been too preoccupied with thinking about that, though, since there were other things on his mind. He sighed and tapped out something reasonable.

**Hey, i just found out that i’m going back to korea soon! i’m going to be gone for a week. i think i’m leaving tomorrow but i’m not sure yet. maybe we should hang out before i go?**

    Was that too pushy? He didn’t want to think about it. He sighed and laid back down on his bed, wanting to get out of his slacks and stiff dress shirt, so he did that, wiggling out of his clothes until he was left in his boxers and undershirt. He was okay with that.

    He wasn’t expecting a response so quickly, but when he got it he opened his phone up eagerly. The first thing he spotted was the emoticon and he felt his heart drop.

**i’d really love to but i’m swamped with work this entire week :( but when you come back you should come and meet the new tiger cubs!**

    Tiger cubs. That was cute. He sighed and dropped his head back onto his pillow. He hadn’t yet visited the zoo that Jingfei worked at, and maybe that would serve as a nice thing to look forward to when he was stuck back at home. He didn’t feel like responding to the text. He figured that he should, but he still didn’t want to. So he didn’t, and focused on the sounds of his breathing. It was much less stressful than human interaction, and right now he wanted to just be by himself.


	11. jongdae flirts by accident

There was something lonely about Jongdae's little apartment back home in Korea. Minseok was no longer a room away, instead some twenty-minute bus ride south, and it made Jongdae feel like a cub sent out into the wild without its mother. He was fussing around in his kitchen, trying to make himself a bowl of ramen, and ducking away every few minutes to click around on his laptop. He listened to the water boiling as he sat at the little table in the corner, staring at Chanyeol and Baekhyun’s “offline” bubbles on Skype. He hadn’t been able to hang out with them in person yet, but they had all Skyped the night Jongdae had gotten back.

Baekhyun told him he would take them all out to karaoke, and Chanyeol dared him to go to a gay bar. It was not at the top of Jongdae’s list of things to do. Baekhyun had made some remark that it would probably be easier to cruise for guys around the office, since he had hypothesized that at least ninety percent of the guys in the Korean unit were gay. Jongdae had just laughed, because he was trying not to think about anything like that -- this was practically a vacation, and he was trying to relax, no matter how lonely his apartment was. He noticed a tab for a gay porn website he had left up from last night and closed it without much thought.

His kettle made an explosive noise, and he jumped out of his seat to check on it. He grabbed the potholder on the counter and pulled the top off of the kettle, and was immersed in steam. He waved it away with his hand, took the block of ramen noodles he had prepared, and tossed it in, putting the top back on. He sighed a bit and set a timer on the microwave, and looked behind him when he heard a notification go off on his laptop.

Jongdae always got a little jumpy whenever he had a message from Suho. He always assumed that he was in trouble, even though that rarely ever happened. Jongdae usually just slipped under the radar.

_Hey, we need to figure out when we’re going to meet._

Ugh. Jongdae almost forgot he was back home on business. He didn’t really want to reply right now, he really just wanted to eat and watch television, but he hadn’t thought ahead to change his status to invisible, so Suho saw that he was online. Damn.

_It’s up to you, I’m free any day any time_

He was about to get up and check on his ramen, but suddenly his call screen popped up. He cursed under his breath and did a quick once-over of himself - there weren’t any random food stains on his shirt, and his hair was probably decent. He had been holed up in his little home all day and hadn’t cared to make himself pretty. Whatever, Suho hyung never cared about anything, and he wouldn’t care if Jongdae didn’t look presentable. He answered the call.

The top three buttons on Suho’s dress shirt were unbuttoned and Jongdae didn’t know why that was the first thing he noticed. Suho looked tired and a little hungover, his hair awkwardly coiffed but still sticking out in a few different directions, and Jongdae remembered that he was gay. _Fuck off, asshole voice._ “Jongdae-sshi, sorry, I look sort of a mess. It’s been a long day.” He wasn’t even looking at the camera, just looking around on his computer. Jongdae could faintly hear the click of his mouse. “You’re willing to come out here, yeah?”

“Yes, that’s fine.” Jongdae eyed the kettle on the stove. “When’s Minseok hyung seeing you?”

“Wednesday at...noon, I think? Yeah. Wednesday at noon.” Suho looked away from his computer screen and smiled a little. Usually his boss’ casual friendliness unnerved him, Baekhyun always went on rants about how soft Suho was, but right now it was welcome. Jongdae had been feeling a little antsy about work lately.

“Would it be okay to see us at the same time?”

“No, I have to see you guys separately.”

“Okay...uhm, well I really don’t have shit to do at all this week, besides see you. I’m fine with tomorrow, if like--”

“It’s really fucking busy over here, I’d prefer it if you came sometime later in the week.” Suho made a little groan-y noise, and Jongdae snorted.

“Thursday at noon,” he offered.

Suho nodded. “Let me see. Ahh.” Jongdae assumed Suho was bringing up some sort of calendar, because he was looking intently at his computer screen. Jongdae found himself staring at the little bit of collarbone that was exposed through Suho’s unbuttoned shirt. “Yeah, that works!” Suho spoke up, and Jongdae jumped, as if he had been caught leering. He was about to say something, and then his microwave started to beep.

“Hey, is food more important than I am?” Jongdae could hear Suho yelling at him when he got up to check his ramen. He could hear laughter when he pulled out a bowl and used the potholder to take the top of the kettle off. “You’re a pest! Get back here!”

“I can hear you, hyung! It’s fine!” Jongdae poured in the seasoning packet and stirred it around. Suho sighed as loudly as Jongdae assumed he could. “Hyung, I’ll be right there.”

“Baekhyun’s rubbing off on you. What are they teaching you in China, ah?” Jongdae sped over to plop himself back down in front of the computer, smirking at Suho from above his steaming bowl of ramen. Suho made a face at him. “I’m your hyung.”

“Sorry, Suho hyung. I’m starving.”

“Do you eat as much as your friends? I’ll take you out to lunch.” Suho smiled. “Thursday at noon. We can talk over food.”

Jongdae stared at him, listlessly turning noodles over in his chopsticks without looking at them. “Uhm,” he started, and then hesitated. He had heard that Suho flirted endlessly with some of the newer recruits, but he had never tried it with him. Was this even as deep as that? Was this just a business practice? Was-- “ahh, sure.”

Suho actually looked surprised at Jongdae’s response, and Jongdae cursed inwardly. _Wrong fucking answer._ “I don’t like saying no to you,” Jongdae followed up with a scowl, and poked at his noodles. “It’s work. You owe me food now.”

“Yeah, I’ll buy you food.”

“Chanyeol told me you creep on the new guys,” Jongdae never felt bad being blunt to Suho, because he knew Suho was too much of a wimp to get indignant. “But you can’t creep on me. I don’t fucking care.”

“I didn’t know you were into guys,” Suho laughed, and Jongdae felt as if Suho was laughing at him. He watched as Suho looked away from the camera and back to his computer.

Jongdae noshed on his noodles and stared hard into the camera. “Yeah, it’s a new development. I don’t know.”

Suho didn’t respond, but looked back at him, an incredulous furrow in his brow. “What?” He barked out a laugh. “I was just teasing you! Jongdae-yah! Are you serious?”

 _Shit shit shit_. He had gotten too complacent with himself and was used to saying it out loud at this point and fuck this was Minseok hyung’s fault this was entirely his fault. “Wahh, Suho hyung! Don’t make fun of me!”

“I’m not! I didn’t know!”

“Now you do!” Jongdae didn’t really know why he was being so defensive. He brought his knees up to his chest to balance his whole body on the chair. “So...gosh. Don’t look at me like that.”

“Fine, fine. Forget what I said earlier.” Suho leaned in a little bit. “Let me make you dinner. Tomorrow night.”

Jongdae stared at him. “Absolutely not. Suho hyung, you’re my boss.”

“I thought you didn’t like saying no to me,” Suho smirked, and Jongdae frowned at him.

“ _No_. Don’t hit on me.”

“I just want to get to know you, Jongdae-yah. I know you like to sing, I have a piano. I’m not a bad cook. Come on, just once. It’ll be fun.”

Something about this was enticing, whether it was the sudden inclusion into some sort of secret gay society or the taboo of flirting with his boss, he didn’t know. Jongdae thought it over. Maybe spending time with Suho would turn him off of men completely, and he could be done with it forever.

And. Free food.

“Fine,” he resigned, and closed his eyes. “Fine. Don’t be sketchy, though. I’m new at this.”

“It’ll be fine. I’m not a bad guy, Jongdae-yah.” Suho leaned back in his chair and Jongdae swallowed. This was weird, this was very weird. He figured that he shouldn’t tell Minseok about this.

“Are we done?” He was trying to sound as disinterested as possible, but there was excitement tingling through his fingers as he moved his hand to click out of the call. Shit, shit, this was really happening and what the fuck, this was going really fast and this was probably so fucked up but it was _happening_.

“Yeah. I’ll see you tomorrow,” Suho lilted at him, and Jongdae gave a little goodbye and clicked out as fast as he could. When the call screen disappeared he took a deep breath and put his bowl of ramen down on the table. Fuck. He felt as if he was going to float right out of the chair and through the ceiling, and he wanted to call somebody so they could talk him back down to the ground, but there was absolutely no one he could talk to about this. Fuck. He should probably just go watch television and try to distract himself. Fuck. At least he hadn’t thought about Yixing all day.

 

 


	12. (nsfw) chapter twelve

    Suho had made Jongdae short ribs, and they actually weren’t half bad. Jongdae was sort of expecting for Suho to have had one of his slaves or servants or whatever he called them make dinner, so he was a little surprised when he arrived and Suho was just finishing up. Just the two of them, alone in Suho’s big house. Jongdae fussed with the sleeves of his too-big dress shirt whenever he spoke, and hesitated a little when Suho suggested he take off his suit jacket. He did it anyway, and felt more comfortable. There was a fire going in the brick fireplace and he snorted back a laugh as he watched Suho poke at it. There were a number of golf trophies adorning the mantle above him and it tied the conspicuously wealthy scene together. Suho smiled at him when he finished at the fire, rolling the sleeves of his lavender dress shirt up to his elbows. “Is that better?”

    “It feels warmer in here, yeah.”

    “I don’t know why we’re still stuck in winter.” He sat back down at the table and scooted his chair in behind him. “I’m not crazy about spring but I’m ready for the bitter cold to be over.”

    “Yeah.”

    “I like making fires, anyway.”

    “Yeah.” Jongdae had been speaking in relatively short sentences all night, and he was trying to break out of the pattern. He was nervous. Suho took a bite of short rib and looked up at him, smiling faintly. Jongdae fussed in his seat and rolled his hands on themselves. He felt comfortable, yeah. He didn’t feel like he was going to get attacked or anything. He just felt as if he said or did anything wrong, he would get fired, but if he was too friendly, Suho would try to tongue him. Neither were anything he wanted.

    Suho had asked Jongdae if he was okay at least five times already, so he had noticeably stopped. Jongdae was thankful. “You have a place all to your own, right?”

    Jongdae blinked, and nodded stiffly. “Ahh, yes, yes, I do.”

    “An apartment?”

    “Yeah.”

    “How’s that? Is it lonely?” He smiled a little bit and pushed his plate away from himself. “I know you live with Minseok in China, so it’s gotta be different.”

    Jongdae figured that telling him it was a lot easier to masturbate would not be a very appropriate thing to tell him. “Yeah, it is. It’s really quiet. I’ve been thinking about getting a cat or something, actually. But that wouldn’t work since I’m traveling around all the time.”

    “Yeah, that would be tough.”

    “But it’s okay. Living with Minseok hyung is fun but it’s also a lot. It’s kind of like living at home with my parents.” He sighed. “Minseok hyung is so clean. He always yells at me when I don’t have my dishes done or I leave my shoes lying around. I don’t have to worry about that when I’m at home with myself.”

    “Ahh, that’s good. Yeah, I like the freedom that comes with living alone.” Suho leaned back in his chair and picked up his napkin, rubbing it in between his hands before putting it on the table in front of him. “I can do anything here and there isn’t anyone to judge me.”

    “Yeah, but you’ve got people who come by and clean,” Jongdae remarked. Suho smirked at him.

    “That’s true.”

    “I just have myself, and Minseok hyung in China, if he’s feeling fed up enough with me that he doesn’t care to tell me to do it.”

    “If you train him like that for long enough, he’ll start doing it automatically.” The look on Suho’s face made Jongdae burst out laughing, and he put his hand in front of his mouth. Suho grinned at him. “What? What’s so funny?”

    “Minseok hyung isn’t a pet!”

    “I know! But people are similar. What’s his favorite food? If you dangle it in front of him, I bet he’ll jump.”

    “Stop!” Jongdae laughed again and put his chopsticks down, waving his hands. “Don’t teach me how to manipulate people. I don’t want that.”

    “What, you think I’m good at that or something? That’s not true. I’m still learning, just like you.”

    “I don’t believe that,” Jongdae shook his head, and looked away. “No offense, hyung.”

    “None taken.” Suho shrugged. “You don’t know me that well.” He cleared his throat. “Uhh, I went to private boys’ schools my whole life. Played on all the golf teams. I have a few, uhh,” he waved at the trophies on the mantle, and Jongdae nodded at him. Suho smiled and looked down. “You’re not interested, that’s fine. Uhm, I went to a lot of camps, actually. Golf camps.” He snorted at himself. “Didn’t like them too much. I didn’t really like being too far from home when I was younger. I got over that, though. Uhm, I didn’t have any pets when I was growing up. Too busy. I have a lot of family members.” Suho raised his eyes and met Jongdae’s. “Your turn.”

    Jongdae paused, and then swallowed. “Uhm, where should I start?”

    “Wherever you’d like.”

    “What should I tell you?”

    “Whatever you want to.” Suho smiled, and his casual acceptance of everything made Jongdae feel a little better. He could say something stupid but Suho probably wouldn’t care.

    “Uhm, I had a cat when I was little. His name was Mandu. He died when I was like...seven or something. I only sort of remember him. He was okay, he was kind of quiet, didn’t really do much. My mother liked him.” He paused. “Uh. God. I played a lot of soccer when I was in grade school? I liked soccer a lot, I still do, I just don’t play anymore. Minseok hyung and I go to games in China sometimes. He gets really excited.” He smiled a little. “Uhm, I started singing when I was...well, I had been singing my whole life, I think? Mom showed me these home videos she took when I was like three, I’m singing at the top of my lungs in them...” He shook his head. “But I started singing for real in a choir in middle school. It was fun. I had some friends in the choir who played guitar and I would hang out with them after school and...” he trailed off, trying to remember what came next, but Suho cut off his train of thought.

    “Ahh, I forgot you sang! Wait,” he got up, thought about it, and then beckoned Jongdae to follow him. Jongdae followed him into the neighboring room, and stood in the doorway, watching Suho walk over to the huge grand piano at the side of the room. Jongdae smiled when he saw its size, and when Suho looked over at him, he smiled too. Jongdae shook his hair out and ran a hand through it. “What’re you looking at.”

    “Your smile looks so happy. C’mere.” Jongdae went over to the piano as Suho sat down at it and wiped his hands across the cover before lifting it up to show the keys. “It’s gorgeous, isn’t it?”

    “It really is.” Jongdae looked at the Blüthner seal on the side of the piano, and wondered to himself how much it could’ve cost. He figured asking that would be rude. Suho played a chord and Jongdae felt it reverberate in his bones; it had been so long since he had been around a piano that he had forgotten how rich the sound was. This one was very in-tune, so he figured it was used often. “How long have you played?”

    “As long as I can remember. I think my father started me early.” Suho started playing a slow, simple piece, and closed his eyes. “What do you want to sing?”

    “What?”

    “I wanna play something and you can sing along to it. I want to hear you sing.” He held down a chord and smiled up at Jongdae. “Give me something.”

    “Uhm, I don’t know what you know.” Jongdae swallowed. “Do you watch music shows?”

    “Sometimes, when I have the TV on and they’re on.” Suho kept playing, and Jongdae was content to just listen to him. Suho looked up at him again, and his little smile brought him back to reality.

    “Uhm, uhm. There’s a song I’ve been listening to a lot. I don’t know. It’s called Viva Primavera. I sing it around the house.”

    “Ahh, Dickpunks, right? There were on season whatever of...whatever.” Suho fussed around with some keys and played the first few starting chords. “I think I know this.”

    “What? No way,” Jongdae laughed, and Suho waved him on.

    “Come on, come on. Sing.”

    “Ahh...” Jongdae laughed nervously, and wrung his hands in front of himself. Usually he was more than ready to belt something out, but he felt a little awkward. Suho played the intro for him, and Jongdae missed his entrance. He made a soft sound, but Suho just shook his head and repeated what he had just played, giving Jongdae a second chance. He picked it up then, and Suho grinned, playing alongside.

    They got to the chorus, and Suho’s playing was so shaky that Jongdae had to stop and chuckle for a second before continuing. Suho yelled at him that he had never played this song all the way through, and Jongdae waved at him, just continuing on. His voice filled the room and he enjoyed the booming acoustics, and felt comfortable knowing that there wasn’t anybody in the house he was annoying. His falsetto cracked a little bit at one point and Suho “aww’d” at him, and Jongdae swatted him playfully, trying to keep singing through laughter. They got to the piano solo and Suho stopped playing with a loud bang on the keys. “I can’t do that.”

    Jongdae burst out laughing and pushed him, and Suho laughed too, trying to push him back. “You’re a jerk. Get back here!” He called out when Jongdae hopped towards the doorway, and stood up, watching him. “What’s gotten into you?”

    “I love the acoustics in this room! Ahh,” Jongdae grinned, looking all over from his place in the doorway. The room was mostly bare but he could feel the music contained within the walls, and it made him smile. The crackling of the nearby fireplace was soft and welcome white noise, and he leaned against the doorway, smirking at Suho. “I’m a good singer, aren’t I?”

    “You are.” Suho smiled and walked over to him, and patted his shoulder when he walked by. Jongdae turned around to watch him with his eyes, and felt himself loosen as he watched Suho fix himself a drink at his little bar in the corner of the living room. “But I had expected so. Your speaking voice is nice, too.”

    “Thanks,” Jongdae said shortly, not entirely sure what to make of that. Suho finished his drink and took a sip from it, made a disgusted face, and continued drinking. Jongdae laughed a little, thinking back to how Suho had made that same face at the initial sip of the first drink he had at dinner, and then the second. He waved side to side in the doorway.

    “Do you want anything to drink?”

    “Ahh, no thanks. I’m fine.” Jongdae said, and Suho nodded.

    “That’s perfectly okay. You’ll have to excuse me, I’m at my best with a few drinks in me.” Suho walked up to him and leaned against the wall, shaking his drink in Jongdae’s face. Jongdae grinned and took it out of his hand, and took a small sip. He recoiled and gave it back to Suho, who laughed. “What?”

    “That’s strong.”

    “My hand slipped. Oops.” Suho passed him back into the piano room, and Jongdae followed closely. “I feel like I know you better now, hmm? You like singing a lot. That’s really sweet.”

    “Heh, yeah.” Jongdae smiled a little. “And you like golf, and drinking.”

    “Yes, my two favorite things.”

    “Play me a song you know,” Jongdae said, and Suho sat down at the piano, putting his drink on top of it.

  Suho sat there with his hands on his thighs, looking forward. “Any requests?”

    “I don’t really know many piano songs. Just play whatever.” Jongdae cleared his throat, and Suho tried a few chords, until playing himself into something slow. It lasted for a while before he picked up speed, and he sat there, rocking back and forth, until he came to a slow again, and again Jongdae felt the melodies bouncing off the walls and right back at him. It was a beautiful feeling, and it made him want a piano in his house. Maybe he should talk to Minseok hyung about that. Suho’s song slowed to a halt and Jongdae leaned down on the piano, propping his chin up on his arms in front of him, completely uninterested in how much the piano cost at this point. “That was nice,” he said softly.

    “Thank you,” Suho picked up his drink and took a long sip from it, and swished it around in his hand a bit. “I’ve been playing that for a while. Takeshi Senoo. I like his stuff.”

    “It was melancholy, but nice.”

    “Like me, I guess. You, you’re bright, like a kid. And wobbly,” Suho grinned as Jongdae straightened, picking himself up off the piano. “Are you sure you didn’t pre-game tonight?”

    “Yahh, I’m sure! I just feel good, I haven’t been able to sing like that in a while. It was nice. It’s my own kind of drunkenness, I guess.”

    Suho smirked at him. “I bet I can drink you under the table.”

    “That’s big talk!” Jongdae protested. “Ahh, but I bet you’re right. I’ve heard stories about your liver.”

    “That’s terrible. My liver is fine.” Suho cleared his throat and swatted at Jongdae’s chest. “Do a shot with me, come on.”

    Jongdae shook his head, laughing. “No, I don’t feel like drinking. I have to drive home anyway.”

    Suho quirked an eyebrow at him, and said slowly, “you could always stay the night.”

    Jongdae considered this for a quick second, and then stood there with his mind blank. He felt warm, and limber, and his heart was picking up speed. “Ahh, hyung, I don’t know. I’m.” He bit the inside of his mouth, and then sighed. “I’m. I don’t know. Uhh.”

    “What?” Suho smiled at him, and Jongdae cleared his throat, trying to remember all the words he knew.

    “This is-- this is dumb. Hyung.”

    “Nah, I bet it’s not.” Suho’s eyes were clear as he looked up at him, and Jongdae felt a little weird. He remembered how nervous he was on the drive over, but now Suho was playing him music, and cooking him dinner, and it felt nice, like he was at home and everything was warm inside. Jongdae plopped down on the piano bench next to him and Suho scooted over to give him room.

    “There’s just all this gay shit going on and, fuck, I don’t know.” Jongdae groaned and dropped his head to bonk against the piano. Suho smirked and grabbed the back of his collar to pull him up, and Jongdae continued. “I thought I was the straightest guy on the planet but then...things...happened, and now everything’s all weird. It’s just different. It’s like, I thought I knew myself, but it turns out I’m surprising myself every day.” He turned to look at Suho. “When did you know?”

    Suho blinked at him. “What do you mean?”

    “Like, when you found out you were gay.”

    Suho sat there, seemingly thinking about it, and then shrugged. “I-- I don’t know. I was maybe, twelve?” He laughed shortly. “I just knew, I guess. Like how you said you were really straight. Except I’ve never felt anything change, I’ve always been gay as hell. Ahh.” He stood up and walked around the back of the bench, and Jongdae twirled around to watch him.

    “Am I freaking you out?” He frowned. Suho turned back to him and put his hands on Jongdae’s shoulders, causing Jongdae to jump.

    “No, not at all. I just don’t know if I’m the right person you should be talking to,” he laughed, a little more nervous and awkward a sound than Jongdae had ever heard him make.

    Jongdae scooted to the edge of the bench. “Well, you’re gay, right?” He stood up when Suho scoffed at him. “Like, I don’t know what I want, either. I just know that I’m freaking out and Minseok hyung told me to talk to people and--”

    “And you thought to talk to me,” Suho said, and he smirked, moving to lean against the doorway.

    Jongdae pouted at him. “No, actually. I didn’t want to but then you asked me to come over and I dunno, I figured I should try it.”

    “Well, what do you think? I’m pretty normal, aren’t I?”

    “No, I didn’t think you weren’t normal or anything!” Jongdae stepped up to him, feeling an uncomfortable distance. This room with the piano felt safe to him and he didn’t want to leave it. “I just thought you’d be able to help with. Something. I don’t even know. I thought Minseok hyung would be able to calm me down but he didn’t really help at all. Didn’t tell me anything I didn’t know already.” He sighed.

    Suho thought it over, and put his head against the wall, letting Jongdae come to him. “I’m not a professional at fixing broken gay puzzles. What do you want me to do for you?” He put his hand on Jongdae’s hip, and Jongdae jumped, the sudden touch scaring the hell out of him. Suho didn’t pull away and he didn’t know what to make of it.

    “Uhh,” Jongdae didn’t know whether to push him away or not, and then his brain spoke for him, “that’s a good start, I guess.”

    Suho didn’t say anything for a moment, just smiled, and then, “If you came over here looking to sleep with me, I feel used.”

    “That’s a gross miscalculation and also a lie,” Jongdae scowled and started to pull away, still feeling playful but now less comfortable. Suho reached up and took his hand.

    “I don’t know what to say with you, other than to just...do what feels right, I dunno. I’m the last person anyone should go to for advice, so shut up if I sound stupid.” He sighed. Jongdae looked up at him and wanted to sigh too, feeling beat. Whatever he was looking for, he wasn’t going to find it. Maybe he should just try to make peace with himself.

    He could do that. He put Suho’s hand back on his hip and leaned into him a little bit. “Don’t tell anyone,” he grumbled, and Suho burst out laughing.

    “You’re strange.”

    “No, you.” Jongdae pulled away, ready to return to his warm piano room, but Suho grabbed him, said something that Jongdae didn’t quite catch, and kissed him. All at once Jongdae felt uncomfortable and like he was exactly where he needed to be. He kissed back hesitantly, and then pulled away, his stomach turning. “Shit.”

    “Don’t worry about it,” Suho said softly, and chased him with his lips. Jongdae returned to him, and they kissed, shortly but just enough for Jongdae to know that it was what he wanted. He pulled away when Suho tried to introduce his tongue and cleared his throat, looking away from him.

    “I don’t know if I want to kiss right now.” Jongdae blinked. _Something about kissing him is weird._ “It’s not you, I dunno. Just. Guys.” _I kind of have a girl back in China._ “I’ll get used to it.”

    “What do you want?” There was a tell-tale leaning in of Suho’s hips that made Jongdae’s heart skip up to his throat.

    “I don’t know.” He pulled farther away, but still kept his hold on Suho’s hand. “I don’t know anything, I guess. Show me your room.”

    Suho grinned, and took a few steps to follow him. “I should probably put out the fire, ahh.”

    “Get me there before I change my mind.” Jongdae huffed, and then Suho took initiative, laughing and pulling him to his room. It was on the first floor, which surprised Jongdae a little bit, but at this point he told himself to stop being surprised by things. Suho shut the door behind them and eagerly returned to where they left off, and Jongdae tried to get used to kissing again, but still felt weird when Suho tried tonguing him. He took Suho by the front of his shirt and pushed him towards the bed, laughing when Suho stumbled back and fell down on top of it.

    Suho propped himself up on his elbows and grinned. “What’re you up to?”

    “I’m curious,” Jongdae started, and swallowed back apprehension. He felt loose and it was weird, but he hadn’t gotten laid in a while, and most of his dreams in the past couple of weeks had involved him giving blowjobs to men. So. That was going to happen. He got down on his knees in front of the bed, and Suho burst out laughing, shaking his head. Jongdae looked up at him. “What?”

    “I’ve just thought you didn’t like me all this time.”

    Jongdae scoffed. “I don’t dislike you or anything. I don’t really know you. I mean, I know you now, I guess.” He shakily pulled open Suho’s belt and undid his zipper, pulling it down and helping Suho squirm out of his pants. It was familiar, and when Suho kicked his pants off he started to unbutton his shirt. Jongdae swallowed and moved his hands around Suho’s boxer briefs, hesitating a little before pulling them down. Suho threw his shirt off and Jongdae was face to face with another penis. It was startling and depressing-looking and just like any other penis he had ever seen, but it still threw him off a bit. He put his hand around it and Suho wiggled his hips before sitting up and pulling at the top of Jongdae’s shirt. Jongdae jumped and looked up at him. “You don’t have to, ahh, I can do it myself.”

    “You helped me out,” Suho grinned and undid Jongdae’s top buttons, and Jongdae sighed, pulling away so he could finish undoing his shirt. Suho started teasing himself hard while Jongdae did this, and Jongdae watched it reluctantly, going through every event that had led up to this in his mind. This was weird, this was weird, this was weird. Whatever. He was a warrior.

    He got his shirt off and threw it on the floor, and put his hand on Suho’s, knocking it away. Suho seemed more than happy to let that happen, leaning away again and sighing softly. Jongdae was fascinated by how quickly Suho got hard, but then he thought back to how eager Suho was to start kissing him and readjusted his position. Apparently he had been expecting this and was excited. At least that made his job easier.

    Jongdae was apprehensive but propped up Suho’s dick with his hand to take it into his mouth anyway. Suho made a soft sound and smiled, moving his hand to put on Jongdae’s head. “First time?”

    “Yeah,” Jongdae said, pulling up quickly, and then swirled his tongue around the tip of Suho’s cock. He was remembering everything that any girl had done to him during a blowjob, and it was helping him calm down. He sucked the tip in, letting his tongue move around it, and then pulled away. “Uhm, is it okay if I spit on it?”

    Suho made a scoff-y sound. “Please, go for it.”

    Jongdae did so and tried taking it into his mouth again, finding it easier. He went slowly, bringing Suho’s cock in and out of his mouth, and becoming slightly distracted by the soft sounds Suho was making. At one point Suho cursed and it shot needles up the backs of Jongdae’s knees. He felt powerful, and kind of sexy. He got Suho’s cock wet enough and then tried putting it all in his mouth, succeeded, and pulled away a little bit, returning to bobbing his head up and down. The little sounds escaping Suho’s lips were spurring him on, and he felt more and more confident as he went on.

    “Oh god, fuck yes.” Suho groaned slowly, dropping his head back against the bed. He moved his hand along the back of Jongdae’s head, down to his neck. “Are you sure this is your first time doing this?”

    Jongdae made a face and pulled away, looking up at him. “Uhh, yeah. I'm doing this for a reason.” He put Suho’s cock back in his mouth, moving his tongue around the shaft and trying not to swallow. He remembered that whenever he was getting a blowjob, the wetter it was, the better it felt. He guessed it was kind of helpful to know exactly what felt good. He took Suho’s cock further in, pressing his tongue down and groaning a little as he felt it hit the back of his throat.

    “Unnh, fuck!” Suho’s hand grabbed Jongdae’s hair and he thrusted his hips a little bit, startling Jongdae and knocking him back. Jongdae tried to return to where he was, and Suho moaned. “God, god! How are you so fucking good at this?”

    Jongdae thought about it, and pulled off, closing his eyes. “I’m-- not? I’m not. I don’t, uhh, have a gag reflex, at least. I never have.”

    “That must be it.” Suho bit his lip and Jongdae tensed, but when Suho patted the back of his head Jongdae distracted himself with the task at hand. He sucked around the tip again, and slowly took it back in, letting his tongue twirl around the shaft. He moved his hand to put on the inside of Suho’s thigh, and was intrigued by the breathy sound Suho let out. It was kind of like giving oral to a girl, but not as sweet and soft, instead kind of rough and sweaty.

    Jongdae pulled up and brought his hand to the base of Suho’s cock, and Suho’s hips twitched. He gripped it tight and moved his hand around, pretending he was jerking himself off. He was amazed at how naturally it came to him. Gay sex wasn’t actually as foreign as he thought it was going to be. He put the tip of Suho’s cock back into his mouth and continued sucking, moving his hand while he bobbed his head slowly. Suho grabbed the hair on the back of his neck.

    “Goddamnit, you’re good at this.” Jongdae just kept sucking. “I’m close.” Jongdae felt a little nervous. “I wanna ask you to marry me.” Jongdae stifled a laugh.

    Suho groaned and sat up a bit. “Fuck, keep going. Fuck, fuck,” Jongdae moved his hand off and tried to keep going with just his mouth, and he felt a tickle in the back of his knees when he heard Suho's throaty moan. It was kind of like the sound Yixing made when he orgasmed, but with more shameless abandon. Jongdae was about ready to moan himself but he shook when Suho pulled his hair tight. It hurt quite a lot and he was trying to just keep sucking, and he wanted to pull away but he felt Suho’s cum in his throat and groaned a little bit. He didn’t pull away, just tried to prolong it and swallowed hard. It didn’t really taste like anything, which Jongdae was thankful for, just a little bit salty, and the consistency was of something Jongdae never wanted to have in his mouth. He swallowed it all to get it out of his mouth and pulled further away from Suho, sitting back on the ground and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. He breathed slowly.

    Suho sat up, breathing hard, and grinned down at Jongdae. “You’re just a tad bit slutty, aren’t you?” Before Jongdae could protest, Suho grabbed his hand and pulled him up to the bed, positioning Jongdae’s legs on either side of his hips. He kissed the side of Jongdae’s jaw and then moved to kiss him on the lips, and Jongdae did not shy away this time. “Mm, Jongdae-yah.” Suho moved his hand to the front of Jongdae’s jeans, and Jongdae dropped his head to Suho’s shoulder.

    “Yeah.”

    “You’re so hard.”

    Jongdae was pretty sure that was more or less from all of the sounds Suho had been making. “Yeah, I am.”

    “Let’s get you out of these pants then, hmm?” Suho got to work on undoing Jongdae’s belt and the front of his jeans, and pulled them down to around his thighs. Jongdae was only a little bit bashful kneeling there with his hard dick protruding out of his boxer briefs. Suho looked up at him. “These too?” He asked, trailing his fingers around the waistband.

    Jongdae closed his eyes and nodded, concentrating on breathing slowly. Suho slid his boxers down and let his hands glide over the smooth skin on the back of Jongdae’s legs, and Jongdae twitched a little. He listened to Suho hum as his hands gripped Jongdae’s skin, and jumped when Suho grabbed his ass. “Ahh,” he said quietly.

    “How was that? Was that everything you wanted and more?” There was a hint of a laugh in Suho’s voice and Jongdae didn’t know how he felt about it. He shrugged.

    “It was pretty fun. Unlike anything I’ve ever done before but. It was nice.” Jongdae cleared his throat. “To make you curse like that.”

    Suho grinned and flipped Jongdae on his back with more strength Jongdae was aware he had. Jongdae flailed and tried to kick his pants off, which Suho helped him with quickly, throwing his clothes on the floor and not wasting any time, taking Jongdae’s dick in his hand and letting his tongue twirl around the tip. Jongdae groaned and Suho spit on his cock, making Jongdae’s hips twitch up at the sudden cool wetness. “Hey,” he started, but Suho had already taken him into his mouth, bobbing his head up and down and moving his hand to rest around the base of his dick. “Hyung,” Jongdae breathed, and felt dirty. Every time he remembered he was doing these things with a guy he was a little thrown off, but also a touch excited.

    The word seemed to spur Suho on, because he started to go faster, moving his arms around Jongdae’s thighs to pull him closer. Jongdae moaned and suddenly Suho leaned away, a thin trail of saliva leading from the side of his mouth to Jongdae’s cock. Jongdae thought it was unbelievably hot.

    “What?” Jongdae asked, and Suho sat up.

    “I changed my mind,” he said, and licked his lips. “You want to fuck, right?”

    “What? Uhm, not...not really,” Jongdae said, and scootched back a bit when Suho brought his knees up onto the bed. Suho moved to kiss him, putting his arm down on the bed next to Jongdae’s head, and Jongdae responded eagerly, content with just this. Kissing him wasn't as scary anymore.

    “Come on,” Suho said softly, and Jongdae swallowed.

    “It would hurt, and I’m. Uh.”

    Suho laughed and pulled away, sitting up and putting his hand back on Jongdae’s cock, stroking it lazily while looking at him. “No, I mean, I’ll let you fuck me. It won’t hurt at all. It’ll feel good.”

    This was a problem. He had not prepared for this. Jongdae pushed himself up on his elbows and frowned, a little shaky from the way Suho’s hand was teasing him. “I don’t want to hurt you,” he said.

    Suho laughed again. “You won’t hurt me, I promise.” He bit his lip again and moved his hand faster, Jongdae could feel his patience waning. “I’ll let you do whatever you want.”

    “Ahh...” Jongdae’s head fell back. He couldn’t really think of any other excuse to not do it, and the way Suho was rubbing him, god he was ready for anything. “Okay, okay. Fuck. Go slow with me.”

    Suho grinned and leaned down to kiss Jongdae again, and Jongdae was there for him. He pulled away for a second but his tongue still reached for Jongdae’s, and he let out a breathy laugh when he felt Jongdae’s hips thrust up against his hand. “You can make me curse all you want,” he crooned. He rolled away to open a drawer on his bedside table, and Jongdae turned his head to watch him, not feeling like moving his body. He couldn’t remember the last time his cock was so hard, and his mind was cloudy. He watched Suho pull out a small bottle with roman letters on it.

    “What’s that?” he asked, and Suho smiled, grabbing Jongdae’s hand and pulling him up. Jongdae found it easier to sit up and be alert than he thought it would.

    Suho laid back and put the bottle in Jongdae’s hand. “Lube, it makes it easier. And it feels better, too.” He put one hand behind his head and waved the other at Jongdae. “Put it on your fingers.”

    “I’ve never seen this kind,” Jongdae mused, and did as he was told. He swallowed hard and looked down at Suho, and Suho waved at him again.

    “You know what to do.”

    “Yeah,” Jongdae said, and moved his hand in between Suho’s legs. He hesitated a little bit and then pushed a finger at Suho’s hole, and Suho twitched. Jongdae glanced up at him and then looked back, biting his lip and trying to calm himself. He pushed one finger inside a little and tried to ignore how weird it felt, pushing and pulling and listening to the soft sounds Suho was making. He introduced another finger and it was really tight, he pushed and tried to spread his fingers but his arm shook. He felt very weird and pulled his fingers out. “Hyung, I don’t want to do this.”

    Suho cleared his throat and sat up a bit. “That’s fine,” he said, picking up the bottle of lube and squeezing some out onto his fingers. “Relax,” he replaced Jongdae’s fingers with his own and grinned when Jongdae wrapped his hand around his erection. He swatted at Jongdae with his free hand. “No, don’t touch yourself.”

    Jongdae whined softly and watched Suho finger himself out of the corner of his eye. He felt like a coward. “Do you have to do this?” he asked, a little taken aback by how grumbly he sounded.

    Suho snorted. “If I don’t want you to _hurt_ me, yeah.” Jongdae turned to frown at him, and Suho smiled, sitting up. “It’s fine. I’m good. Come on,” he pulled his fingers out with a little shake of his hips, and took Jongdae’s wrist in his hand, pulling him closer. “How do you want this?”

    “Uhm...I don’t, I don’t know. What’s easiest?” He swallowed. “For you, I mean?”

    Suho thought about it for a second, and then smirked, running his hand down Jongdae’s arm. “I’ll turn over and you can hit it from behind. How’s that? That should be good for you to start with.”

    Jongdae could feel heat rising to his cheeks, and he nodded. “Yeah, sure.” He cleared his throat. "Are you sure you're prepared enough?"

    "Nah, but I really want your dick." Suho grinned and pulled Jongdae closer, so their thighs were touching. Jongdae shrugged. Whatever, it was Suho's funeral.

    Suho started to move, but Jongdae stopped him. “Wait, do you-- should--” the words weren’t coming, and he swallowed hard; he knew his face was burning. “Do you have a condom? Should I put one on, like, I don’t know...”

    Suho smiled and raised a hand to pat Jongdae on the side of his head. “Don’t worry about it. I’m allergic to latex anyway, so I don’t have any. But it’s not a big deal, I’m clean.” He turned over and positioned himself, and Jongdae felt a little dizzy, and put a hand on Suho’s back. He was stiff as a board as Suho pushed against him, and jumped when Suho grabbed his hand. “You okay?”

    “Ahh, yeah! Yeah, I’m fine. I want to do this.”

    Suho let out an amused scoff, and Jongdae decided he should try to stop being so awkward. “You have to help out.”

    “I’ll just...put it in?” Jongdae grabbed his dick and moved it to Suho’s hole. Suho made a sound.

    “Yeah, sure. Try to do it slowly, I guess.” He laid his arm out in front of him and held himself up. “You’re not going to hurt me but I don’t want you to freak out.”

    For some reason this pissed Jongdae off, so he pushed the tip of his dick in, to show Suho he knew what he was doing. He bit his lip at how tight it felt, and Suho groaned. Jongdae pushed a little bit more and Suho wiggled against him. Jongdae moved his hands to grasp Suho’s hips, and started the push-and-pull he was mostly familiar with; when Suho groaned louder, Jongdae gasped softly. “‘S that good?” He asked, his voice lower and breathier than he remembered.

    Suho let out a tiny laugh, and nodded. “It’s good, it’s good. Put-- ahh...” He trailed off when Jongdae pushed all of his length inside, and let out a long, contained moan. Jongdae went slowly, thinking to let Suho get used to him, and after a while Suho started to push back on him, so he figured he could go harder. Just beginning to speed up caused him to groan, and Suho pushed harder. It was tight and hot and squeezing him in all the right places and _shit_ it felt good. “I guess y-- ahh, fuck, I guess you’re into it too?” He sounded like he was gritting his teeth, but Jongdae thrusted into him a little faster. Suho let out another one of those delicious moans that made Jongdae so hot.

    “Ahh, yeah.” Jongdae swallowed and found a rhythm while going faster, and his mouth fell open while he listened to skin slap against skin. The way Suho flexed under him shot electricity up through the backs of his legs. “Ahh, fuck, fuck.” He gripped Suho’s hips harder and rocked his own, listening to each sound that escaped Suho’s mouth. “Fuck!”

    “You like that, baby?”

    The breathlessness in his voice made Jongdae like it even more. “Fuck yes.” He heard Suho laugh and pulled his hips closer, causing a hitch in Suho’s breath. He fucked harder and was so inspired to smack Suho’s ass, because he was in charge, he was fucking a guy and it was _hot_ and he wasn’t too worried about it right now.

    Suho let out a throaty groan and arched his back a bit, and Jongdae grabbed at him. “Unnh, hit me again, shit--”

    Jongdae did as he was told, and Suho moaned again. Jongdae grinned and slowed his hips a little, letting himself thrust in and out languidly. He had no idea how much time passed while he was fucking his boss, and he was pretty obsessed with the sounds Suho was making, so when Suho pulled away he whined. “What?”

    Suho rolled onto his back, his face sweaty and grinning as he pulled Jongdae closer. “I want it like this. Come on,” and that was all Jongdae needed to push himself back in, starting off slow. He watched Suho bite his lip and his legs felt a little weak again. He thrust his hips vaguely in the way he had observed while watching porn, and apparently that was a good thing, because the harder he fucked, the louder Suho got. Jongdae was always a fan of the screamers. He let out a long groan as he felt Suho pulse around him.

    “Ahh, hyung!”

    “Oh god, yes.”

    Suho leaned up and bit at Jongdae’s neck, making Jongdae’s whole body twitch. He felt Suho’s teeth on his skin and imagined the mark that would be there in the morning, and it made him feel hotter. Suho pulled away from his neck with a soft sound and Jongdae groaned, thrusting into him harder in response to the bruise he had made.

    Jongdae watched Suho’s head fall backwards and swallowed. “This feels great, holy shit.” Suho grinned and didn’t say anything. “Fuck, hyung--” Jongdae’s breaths came quicker, and he twitched when he felt Suho tighten around him. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, can--”

    Apparently Suho knew what Jongdae was going to say, probably from how erratic his thrusts had gotten. He pulled away from him and then pushed Jongdae down to the bed on his back, and then moved to take Jongdae’s cock into his mouth. Jongdae whimpered and moved to put his hand on the back of Suho’s head, but didn’t quite make it, feeling light and dizzy as he came hard. Suho swallowed, which caused a twitch in the back of Jongdae’s knees, and then kept sucking around the tip of his dick. Jongdae jumped and pushed on Suho’s head. “Ahh, hey.”

    Suho made a sound and kept his head bobbing up and down on Jongdae’s cock. The sensations were overwhelming and he groaned loudly. “Hyung, too much. Ohh--” he moaned when Suho pulled away, and let out a nervous laugh when Suho smirked down at him.

    “Seemed appropriate,” Suho started, “considering what you did for me.” He moved down to kiss Jongdae, and for some reason Jongdae wasn’t grossed out. He kissed him for a few moments, and then pulled away.

    “Holy shit,” Jongdae gasped, and tried to straighten out his quivering limbs. “That was-- whoa. Whoa, I’m--”

    “You’re babbling. Does that mean you’re playing for my team?” Suho smiled at him.

    Jongdae shook his head, laughing. “No, I’ve got it pretty good where I am. Maybe I’ll make some additions to my contract. Shit.” He sat up a little bit and ran a hand through his hair. “That was still...awesome, though.” He plopped back down and stared up at the ceiling. “Hey.”

    Suho wasn’t looking at him, already nesting himself in a pillow. “Yeah?”

    “Can I stay here for the night?”

    Suho scoffed. “Of course.”

    Jongdae nodded. “Thank you.” He paused, and then swung his legs over the side of the bed. His entire body felt like jelly, and he was surprised at how sensitive every inch of his skin felt.

    “Where are you going?” Suho asked, and Jongdae got up from the bed.

    “I just want to go to the bathroom. Where is it?”

    Suho pointed in the vague direction of a door on the opposite side of the room. Jongdae went to it and rubbed his eyes as he closed the door behind him, thrown off by the bright lights shining in his face. He walked over to the mirror and looked himself up and down. He was sweaty and his muscles tight, and his hair was strewn in every direction. There was a pinkish-red splotch on the side of his neck that looked downright pornographic and he was a little bit proud of it. He sighed and turned the faucets on, washing his hands, and then running them through his hair, closing his eyes as he felt the cool water dripping down his face. He was regaining feeling in his limbs at least. He couldn’t remember the last time his entire body was so rocked during sex. He practically wanted to write Suho a thank you card.

    He paused, and made the water warmer before taking some in his hand and stroking his dick. He didn’t look down or at the mirror, just stood and looked to the side, a small sigh escaping his lips. His first foray into gay sex was pretty damn incredible, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong. Maybe he just wasn’t used to it. That was it. He was green.

     He dried himself off and went back out into the room. Suho didn’t move, but made a soft noise. “Turn off the light.” Jongdae did so and returned to the bed, slipping under the covers.

    “Sleep,” he grabbed Jongdae’s arm and pulled him closer, and Jongdae didn’t protest. His arms and legs were still tingly and he felt warm, and he was tired. Really tired. He listened to the sounds of Suho’s breathing for a while, and drifted off to sleep slowly, still warm, a little breathless, and content.


	13. (nsfw) jongdae bottoms and feels better

Jongdae had already been awake for a while, laying in bed and thinking about how he had slapped his boss' ass last night, when an alarm went off. After a moment Suho groaned and reached out from under the covers to smack the alarm clock on his bedside table. He sat up and checked the time, and made a haughty sound before returning to his nest. Jongdae watched him.

"Hey," he spoke up after a few seconds, "don't we have work today?"

Suho groaned.

Jongdae didn't know what to make of that. "Was that your alarm to wake up?" He sat up. His legs were sore and his arms tired, and he didn't want to leave the warm bed, but he figured he had to. "It's Wednesday."

"Jongdae, shut up." Suho's voice was muffled and tired, but audible. "Let's just play hooky today, okay?"

Jongdae looked back at him, staring at the undignified lump of mobster under the covers. Uhh. "Can we do that?"

"Are you in control of your body?"

"I mean, we won't get in trouble or anything?"

A pause. "Jongdae, I run this entire organization." Another pause. "You'll be fine. I won't cut off your fingers for missing work under my orders." A longer pause. "I'll just get an angry text from Kyungsoo."

Jongdae hesitated, and then returned to his spot. "Are you sure it's okay?"

"I get one of those every day. No big deal. Really." He sighed and rolled over to face Jongdae, and smiled a little. "C'mere."

Jongdae returned to the bed and slid under the covers, only tensing a little bit when Suho wrapped his arm around him. Suho hugged him closer and Jongdae breathed slowly. He hadn’t actually cuddled in a while and he wasn’t expecting to be doing it with his boss. Whatever, Suho was harmless enough. He rolled his head down to the nape of Suho’s neck and relaxed, and didn’t recoil when he felt Suho run his fingers through his hair. Suho kissed his forehead and he was okay with it. Suho’s touches were a lot more gentle than they were last night, and Jongdae was a fan.

“So did you have sex dreams about me?” Suho asked, and Jongdae opened his eyes.

“Uhh, what?” Jongdae lifted his head to frown at Suho, but Suho was grinning right back at him. Jongdae cleared his throat. “You mean, like last night?”

“No, before all this. Back when you were in China. What triggered all the thoughts? You said something happened.”

Jongdae wanted to bury his face back into Suho’s neck. He was too sleepy and warm to think right now. “I was just having sex dreams about guys, I don’t know. Guys from work.” He felt like telling Suho about Yixing would be too much information. And he didn’t want that to spread. He pursed his lips. “Not actually. Anything. Really weird. I...” He yawned, and butted his head against Suho’s shoulder. Suho laughed softly. “...I kept having dreams where I was giving guys head, which was weird. It was like the only thing that would ever happen, and then either I’d wake up or the dream would change. I think so.”

“Is that why you gave me a blowjob?” Suho leaned his head back on the pillow and laughed. “Because your subconscious told you to? I haven’t heard that one before.”

“Yeah, but like, I just wanted to see if I liked it or whatever! I didn’t think I would--” Suho cut him off, moving his hand to the back of his head so he could pull Jongdae closer. He kissed him slowly, and Jongdae didn’t pause, returning the favor. Suho pulled away right when Jongdae’s arm was starting to hurt from holding himself up.

“But you did, hmm?” Suho licked the side of his lip and Jongdae watched his tongue. His bare shoulders were pale and scattered with light scratch marks that Jongdae assumed were from last night.

He cleared his throat. “Yeah, I did.”

“Yeah, I like giving head, too. Something about it.” Suho nodded and patted the back of Jongdae’s neck. “Suck me off.”

Jongdae blinked, surprised at the brusque request. He started to push back the covers anyway, and muttered, “okay.”

Suho burst out laughing, and sat up to take Jongdae in his arms again, kissing him. Jongdae wasn’t sure what he wanted, but was okay with complying. Suho grinned when he pulled away. “Ahh, you’re so cute.” He caught himself. “But you probably don’t want to hear me saying that, do you?”

“I don’t care...” Jongdae pushed on Suho’s chest gently, but enough for Suho to know to lie back down. He could feel a blush rising to his cheek, and his words came out in a mumble. “A compliment’s a compliment.” He pushed the covers all the way back and was greeted by man-thighs again, and the weird-looking thing that was between them. Suho lifted his hand to ruffle Jongdae’s hair and then dropped it to stroke himself.

“You’re eager, even when you don’t realize it.” He said slowly, as Jongdae stared down, trying to decide what to do. “I think you’re more comfortable than you think you are.”

Jongdae pushed on Suho’s leg to get him to shut up. “I still don’t know how to start this.”

“Honestly, just put your mouth on it. I don’t ca--mm,” he made a quiet sound when Jongdae did what he was told to. He let out a breathy laugh. “That’s all you have to do, baby.”

Jongdae licked him shyly until he felt Suho getting hard, and then he pulled away, content to just stroke him up and down. Suho smiled down at him and Jongdae made a noise, looking away. “You keep smiling at me.”

“Yeah, ‘cause I like what you’re doing.”

“It’s kinda nice.” Jongdae wrapped his hand around the tip and rubbed it harder, and then moved his hand so he could spit on Suho’s cock. He stroked his dick a little bit faster until it was firm enough to his liking, and then took it back into his mouth, trying to see how much he could take in all at once. Suho groaned and Jongdae pulled back, letting his tongue swirl around Suho’s cock. He took it all in again, surprised at how easily he could do it. His lack of a gag reflex turned out to have some advantages.

“You like my dick, don’t you?” Suho asked him. Jongdae pulled up, keeping his hand on his dick whenever he wasn’t sucking it. Suho was looking at him but dropped his head back when Jongdae started to stroke him.

“Ehh, it’s okay.”

“Sure, sure.” Jongdae returned to the task at hand, getting the hang of moving appropriately when Suho started to thrust himself against him. Suho moved his hand to push on the back of Jongdae’s head, making Jongdae groan a little, but he kept his tongue moving. It was a little uncomfortable but not unbearably so. Suho moaned. “Fuck, choking on my dick like a fucking champion. Shit.” His voice was breathy and he moved his hand off, letting Jongdae pull up and take a deep breath. Jongdae grinned downwards.

“I hate that my dreams were true.”

“You should be proud of yourself.”

Jongdae moved to put Suho’s dick back in his mouth, but Suho reached down and grabbed Jongdae’s hand, trying to get him to come back up. Jongdae followed his lead, moving so he could straddle Suho. He put his hands on Suho’s chest and smirked down at him. “I’ll be proud later. Right now it’s a whirlwind of everything.”

“God, you’re cute. I want to get my dick in you.” Suho leaned up and wrapped his arms around Jongdae’s back, kissing at his chest. Jongdae moved his arms out and rubbed his hand across one of Suho’s. He closed his eyes.

“I don’t know.”

“It feels really good,” Suho kissed Jongdae’s chest and took his tongue to his nipple, Jongdae let out a soft sound and Suho sucked it for a second before pulling away and grinning. “I’ll treat you right, Jongdae-yah. You’ll be fully indoctrinated.”

Jongdae breathed slowly. “I, I don’t know, hyung. It would hurt a lot, wouldn’t it? Like, things aren’t meant to go up there, and like...”

“Not if I prepare you well. It won’t hurt.” Suho put his hand on the back of Jongdae’s neck and brought his head down enough to kiss him, and then pulled away to look around in the sheets on the bed. Jongdae watched him, his eyelids heavy, and felt his heart jump when Suho found the bottle of lube again.

“Ahh, hyung.” He moved off of him and laid down on his back, and Suho moved closer, pushing aside one of Jongdae’s legs so he could climb in between them. Jongdae swallowed hard and looked up at him. “I’ve never done this before, okay?”

“But you want to?”

Jongdae hesitated. His dreams had been curiously free of any of this sort of action, but after last night Jongdae felt a little different. “M-maybe. If it feels good. But I reserve the right to make it stop whenever, alright?”

“Of course.” Suho popped open the cap and just the sound made Jongdae wince. He watched Suho put some lube on his fingers, and nearly pulled away when he moved his hand in between his legs. Suho looked up at him. “You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m...fine.” Jongdae sighed heavily and shook his head. “I’m sorry, I’m just. I don’t know. This is really, really weird for me.”

“It’s fine.” Suho pushed on Jongdae’s thigh with his elbow, and Jongdae thought that was a weird way to tell him to spread his legs further. He did it anyway, and Suho touched the lube to his skin. It was freezing and extremely sensitive and he jumped, and Suho made eye contact with him again. He had a little smile on his face. “Would you rather do this? It might be easier for you.”

“No, really, I don’t.” Jongdae groaned at the idea of feeling his own fingers inside of himself. That appealed to him in no way. “Just go slow.”

“Alright, alright.” Suho pulled his hand away to put more lube on his fingers. Jongdae felt sticky and wet and when Suho eased the tip of his index finger in Jongdae closed his eyes and clenched his teeth. He could feel Suho’s eyes on him, watching his expression.

Suho’s finger didn’t actually feel as bad as Jongdae thought it would, but it was still uncomfortable and foreign. The thing he hated the most was how sticky it felt in between his legs, but he forced himself to get used to it. He felt Suho add more lube and tensed a bit when Suho pushed another finger at his entrance. He looked down at Suho, and bit his lip. Suho’s cock was already a little bit hard from just teasing him, and it sent a chill through Jongdae’s body.

“I’m gonna add another, okay?” Suho lifted himself up so he could kiss at Jongdae’s neck, leaning his free arm against the pillow as he slowly worked his fingers inside Jongdae. Jongdae let out a soft sound when he felt Suho’s fingers go in deeper than before, and Suho smirked. “You like this, don’t you?”

“It’s-- it’s. Oh,” Jongdae squirmed, and Suho held him still. Jongdae tried to relax and focus on the way Suho spread his fingers inside of him, and gasped quietly. “Fuck.” Suho was moving slowly and Jongdae was grateful for it, he didn’t know how well he’d fare if Suho just started plowing away-- oh, and then he pushed in and out faster, and Jongdae felt his heart speed up. He arched a little and reached up one hand to grab at Suho’s arm, trying to get a hold on himself. “Agh, god!”

“You like it, mm?” Suho pushed his fingers all the way in and Jongdae let out a strained moan. Suho smiled. “Tell me.”

“It’s good! Ahh,” Jongdae’s praise made Suho push harder, and Jongdae thrust up against him, completely of his body’s own volition. Suho licked his lip and teased a third finger at Jongdae’s entrance, and Jongdae shook, grabbing Suho’s arm harder. “Hey.”

“You want my dick, right?” Suho pushed in three fingers and Jongdae bucked against him.

“Shit!” Jongdae gasped as Suho returned to his slow, paced rhythm from before. “Unnh, go slower, shit.”

Suho followed his orders, stroking his fingers inside of Jongdae tantalizingly slow. Jongdae pushed up against him, wondering if maybe he liked it when Suho was going faster. Suho cleared his throat. “You didn’t answer me.”

“Y...yeah, yeah.”

“Tell me, babe.”

Jongdae felt Suho’s fingers flick at something inside of him that made his eyes shoot open. His whole body twitched and he grunted, grabbing at Suho’s arm. “I want your dick. Fuck.”

Apparently that was that, because Suho leaned back and pulled his fingers out, making Jongdae moan. Jongdae’s chest was heaving and he lifted a hand to wipe sweat from his brow. He had no idea how long he had been laying there but _fuck_ he felt sufficiently debauched, and much more awake than before. He looked up to see Suho stroking his cock with his wet hand, and flipping open the cap on the lube with the other.

“You’re good, right?”

“Yeah.” Jongdae watched Suho pour lube onto his dick and then throw the bottle aside. Suho moved to change his position, and then stopped, thinking about it.

“Hey. This’ll be better.” Suho flopped down onto the bed on his back, and tapped Jongdae to sit up. Jongdae’s legs felt like jelly and he had no idea what was happening but he sat up anyway, and Suho smiled at him. “Get on.”

“Wh...what?” Jongdae looked down at the dick in front of him, and then back to Suho. “But I’ve never done this before.”

“Yeah, so this won’t hurt as much. If you start out on top you can get yourself used to it.” Suho seemed to know what he was talking about, so Jongdae blinked slowly and swung his leg around to straddle Suho. He sat down on his thighs, feeling extremely awkward as their dicks touched.

Jongdae frowned down at Suho, leaning both of his hands down onto Suho’s chest. “Just the fact that I’m doing this means that I trust you a lot. So don’t fuckin’ hurt me.”

“I’ll never hurt you, baby.” Suho’s grin was lecherous but it only got Jongdae hotter.

Jongdae cleared his throat and tried to balance himself, but was shaky, so he swatted at Suho’s arm. “Hey, help me.”

Suho laughed and moved one hand under Jongdae’s thigh, making Jongdae shiver a little. “Ahh, raise up more.” Jongdae did as he was told and Suho grabbed his dick, finding Jongdae’s hole with the tip and positioning himself under it. “Fffffuck~” Jongdae made a little sound and swatted him again, and Suho took a deep breath. “Move whenever you want.”

Jongdae shivered and tried to ease himself down onto Suho’s cock. Suho’s grip on his leg held him sturdy enough that he could push down on the tip, but his mouth fell open and a string of expletives left it. “God, god! What the fuck!” Suho burst out laughing but Jongdae was too distracted by the pain to hit him again. “Holy shit!”

“Relax, relax, babe.” Suho ran his hand up and down Jongdae’s side and Jongdae tried to take his advice, taking in a deep breath and forgetting about his trembling legs. He pulled away from Suho’s dick a little, but then took it back in, groaning all the while. Suho moved his hands to put on Jongdae’s ass and he looked up at him. “Mm, yeah?”

“Fuck.” Jongdae kept cursing, but after a while found it easier to take more of Suho’s dick in. He was halfway down and moaning when Suho moved his hands from his ass to his hips, rubbing them up and down.

“Jongdae-yah, you’re so tight. Ahh.” It felt weird hearing his name being used, but Jongdae tried to shake it off. He focused on the little waver in Suho’s voice instead, and bit his lip, going up and down just a bit faster. Suho moaned softly and Jongdae felt more comfortable.

He pushed and pulled and eased himself down until he felt himself sitting completely in Suho’s lap, and groaned, balling his hands into fists and pushing at Suho’s chest. “Fuck!”

“I’m all the way in now, aren’t I? Mmh.” Suho grinned up at him and patted his leg. “How’s it feel?”

“I feel...full.” Jongdae groaned, his head feeling dizzy from all of the new sensations. He pushed up, ready to start riding Suho’s dick in earnest, and Suho thrust up into him. Jongdae let out the highest-pitched noise he had ever made and Suho laughed. Jongdae groaned. “Don’t do that yet!”

“Sorry~ couldn’t help it.” Suho rubbed the side of Jongdae’s hip and relaxed as Jongdae slowly moved up and down on his cock. He bit his lip and moaned softly when Jongdae started to move faster, and dug his fingers into Jongdae’s hips. He flinched when he heard his cell phone go off, and Jongdae startled so badly he nearly fell off.

Jongdae looked to the side table that Suho’s phone was buzzing on, glaring at it. “What’s that.”

“Someone’s calling me.” Suho reached over, but Jongdae whined.

“Let it ring.”

“No, it might be important. It might be work.” Jongdae sighed and made a move to climb off, but Suho firmed his grip on Jongdae’s hip, patting him softly. “Don’t move, babe.” Jongdae scoffed and Suho leaned over, grabbing his phone and taking it with him. He looked at the screen, sighed, and thrusted up into Jongdae. Jongdae moaned and started to ride Suho again, but when Suho swiped his phone to answer the call he stopped and stared down at him.

“Keeeeep going, baby.” Suho smirked up at him, putting his phone to his ear, and Jongdae hesitated. This was a first. Uhm. Well, his boss told him to do something, so he figured he should do it. He started up again, very slowly, and tried to be quiet. “Yahh, what’s up?” Somehow Suho was able to drop most of the sex from his voice in an instant, and Jongdae wondered if he was born with that skill or if he had to train for it. “It’s early.” Jongdae moved a little faster and Suho’s mouth fell open, but he stayed focused on the call. “Kyungsoo-sshiiiii, it’s too early.” Jongdae wanted to stop right then and there. He did not want to be having sex with Suho while Kyungsoo was on the phone. He would absolutely not be able to look him in the eye the next time he saw him. Suho noticed Jongdae’s hesitance, and slapped his leg softly, urging him to go on. Jongdae huffed under his breath.

“No, I wasn’t even planning on going to work today.” Jongdae went faster, aware that his mouth had fallen open, but not caring about it. The pain had mostly subsided and now Suho’s cock felt stiff and huge inside of him, and sometimes when he sat down it rubbed him in a delicious way. Jongdae let out a little moan that he was pretty sure was not picked up on the phone, but it made him nervous anyway. He bit his lip to keep any sounds from coming out.

“I don’t feel well.” Suho cleared his throat and Jongdae watched his face. “Yeah, I’m a little bit hungover. But.” Jongdae moved a little faster on Suho’s dick, trying to catch his attention, and succeeded, locking eyes with him and making him grin. “I really feel sick. No, don’t yell at me. I don’t get sick that often--unnh,” Suho broke and moaned, very softly, and tried to cover it up with a cough. Jongdae almost burst out laughing and rocked his hips harder, making Suho squirm. “See, I’m all sick. Soo. Soo, come on.” Jongdae moaned again, unable to keep himself from doing so. He grabbed at his own dick and started to pull on it to entertain himself, and Suho watched him, licking his lips. “Please, Soo, just let me sleep. It’s early and I feel like shit.” His mouth fell open and a sound almost came out but he bit his lip just in time. Jongdae found it very amusing. “Kyungsoo, stop. Fine, fine. Maybe I’ll come in later today, okay?” He moved a hand to Jongdae’s leg, rubbing it up and down. “Okay. Fuck. Fine. I’ll see you,” and he immediately shut the call off when the last word left his mouth. He threw his phone down on the bed and grinned up at Jongdae, who grinned back.

Suho sat up and took Jongdae in his arms, and started to thrust up into him. Jongdae moaned each time Suho hit him deep, and Suho growled a little, speaking in between thrusts. “Fuck. You. You sexy little dick, messing with me like that--” Jongdae groaned loudly, and Suho smiled. “Shit, you’re all for it now, aren’t you?”

Before Jongdae could reply Suho grabbed him by his hips and threw him down onto the bed, getting up on wobbly knees and putting himself back in between Jongdae’s legs. “Don’t hurt me,” Jongdae said breathlessly, and Suho moved to kiss the side of his face, and then his cheek.

“I won’t, I won’t. I just _need_ to fuck you. Shit,” he thrust all the way into Jongdae at once and Jongdae choked out a loud groan, “riding my dick like that. Telling me you’ve never done it before.” Suho scoffed and Jongdae laughed, pushing at his chest.

“I really haven’t!”

“Well you were fucking born for it.” Suho thrusted into him with more fervor, and Jongdae made a strained sound.

“Not so hard, ahh!”

Suho slowed down a just little bit, enough to keep him breathing heavy. Jongdae moaned all the while and shivered when Suho pushed against that certain spot once, and then twice. “Mm,” Suho hummed, his hips twitching with each slow thrust. Jongdae started to rock against him and he smirked. "Ohhh, baby. Oh, you're teasing me! I just want to plow you...nnh, fuck." He gritted his teeth and Jongdae pushed against him, his limbs feeling looser.

“Okay, then, then do it. Ahh, don’t hurt me--”

Suho had already started to speed up as soon as Jongdae gave him permission, and Jongdae moaned noisily, feeling the hairs on the back of his neck stand up as his temperature rose. “Fuck, fuck, yes!” His voice was breathy but loud, and it made Suho fuck harder. “Ahh, fuck! Yes! Hyung, fuck, hyung--”

“Oh, god.”

Jongdae whined, thrusting against Suho’s hips, and made a disappointed sound when he felt Suho pull out of him. He blinked up and Suho was making a concentrated face, jerking himself with his hand frantically. After a second he thrusted his hips, and five short ropes of semen spurted out onto Jongdae's abdomen. "Ohh, fuck! Fuck!" He breathed hard as his jerking slowed down, his chest heaving. He closed his eyes and cursed once more under his breath before falling down on the bed next to Jongdae. "Holy shit, I just came so fucking hard." He laughed airily, and Jongdae grinned, watching him. "Holy shit." He groaned a little and rolled onto his back, and then swatted Jongdae on the arm. "God, god _damnit_ , you're a good fuck. You're a _great_ fuck."

“Uhh, thanks.” Jongdae felt weak just watching Suho, and sat up a little to look down at him. “You okay?”

“Yeah! Yeah, I’m fine, I...” Suho trailed off, watching Jongdae, and then sat up, pushing Jongdae back down. He pushed Jongdae’s legs apart and dove one hand in between them, teasing around Jongdae’s hole. “I’m gonna do something for you.”

“Huh?” Jongdae shivered, and Suho thrust two fingers inside of him, making him jump. “Ahh, hyung, come on!” Suho shut him up with his mouth, and Jongdae moaned against his lips, feeling Suho’s fingers deep inside of him. After a while of feel-good poking and probing Suho hit a tender spot and Jongdae’s entire body jumped, and Suho grinned against his lips, thrusting in that direction harder.

“Fuck, hyung! You--” Jongdae cut himself off with a moan, and found himself thrusting his hips wantonly against Suho’s hand. “It’s good-- ohh--” Suho kept pushing harder and rubbing, and Jongdae shook.

“Jerk yourself off,” Suho told him, and Jongdae immediately spit on his hand and went to work, not wanting to waste any time. He recounted every flick of his wrist that made him moan during his times alone in his room, and Suho’s fingers guided him to an explosion of static from the base of his cock all the way to the tip and holy SHIT that felt incredible and oh my god was he going to _die_? He had no idea how loud he was moaning but he knew that by the time he was done Suho’s fingers were out and he was grinning by the side of his face, kissing his cheek softly. Jongdae breathed heavily as Suho tried to converse with him. “Well, you liked that.”

“I...” There was nowhere for that sentence to go, so Jongdae just stopped there. He let his heaving breaths do the talking, and Suho smirked, patting Jongdae on the arm.

They laid there for a moment until Suho rolled out of bed, finding and throwing on a robe with very shaky limbs. “I’ll be right back. Do you want anything?”

“Uhm...” Jongdae tried his best to have a thought and sat up a little, watching Suho. “No. Actually, can I have some water?”

Suho smiled. “Yeah.” He slipped out the door, and Jongdae fell back down onto the bed, lifting his hands to his face to wipe sweat away from his eyes. The phone next to him on the bed buzzed, and Jongdae moved to grab it before registering that it was Suho’s. A text from Kyungsoo read _“I can always tell when you’re having sex on the phone, you asshole.”_ Jongdae smiled a little and put the phone back down.

Suho returned a few minutes later, and threw a bottle of water at Jongdae when he walked in the door. Jongdae was surprised that he was coordinated enough to catch it, and he opened it, taking a very long drink before putting it down and checking out Suho’s own glass of probably-alcohol. It was like eight in the morning but he wasn’t going to comment on it.

“Have you regained normal speech?” Suho asked jokingly, sitting down on the side of the bed.

Jongdae scoffed. “Yeah, I have. You have a text.”

Suho took his phone and looked at it, made no response, and put it back down. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m. I’m feeling everything.”

Suho grinned. “You know, I reeeeally think you might be pretty gay.”

“I’m not, I’m not!” Jongdae laughed. “I like having sex with guys, whatever, but I still like girls too. Whatever.” He flopped back down on the bed and put his water on the side table. He paused, thinking everything over, and blinked up at the ceiling. “Hey.”

“Mm?”

“Thanks.”

Suho snorted. “You’re welcome. I can teach you how to give yourself a prostate orgasm, you know.”

Jongdae laughed. “No, not-- well, I mean, yeah, but. I feel. Better. I just feel better. About myself and everything that’s happened recently and...” He trailed off, but was okay to leave it there.

Suho didn’t say anything for a short while, and then shrugged. “That’s good. Glad I could actually help.” He put his drink down on the table and swung his legs up onto the bed, sliding next to Jongdae. “You tired?”

“Yeah, but-- but I should be going, I didn’t mean to spend the night and--” Jongdae started to swing his legs over and get out of the bed, but was met with ridiculous pain in his backside, and slithered back into the bed. “Holy shit.”

Suho blinked at him, and then it registered. “Yeah, that happens.” He smirked. “Sorry, you’re here forever.” He wrapped one arm around Jongdae and pulled him closer. “You can go later, just rest up here, hmm?”

“Alright...” Jongdae was still a little wired in his brain, but his body was more than ready for the rest. His limbs felt like jello and he sank into the bed, but he stayed awake for a while. Suho snored a little when he fell asleep and it made Jongdae laugh. He managed to get his phone from where it had been thrown on the bed last night without waking Suho up, and he looked through it. He had a new message from Jingfei, something sent last night. He didn’t feel like looking at it right now.


	14. jongdae talks to chanyeol and becomes enlightened

Jongdae had accomplished everything he wanted to in South Korea and went he went back to the little apartment in China he felt refreshed. He had enjoyed that short business vacation more than the others, and he was only a little bit grossed out by himself. He was unpacking his suitcase when he came across the dress shirt that Suho had bought for him the day before he left, and he held it, staring at it as if it held some unimaginable power. It was a light blue and the price tag boasted over five hundred dollars, which made Jongdae feel slimy, and he cut it off. He was okay with getting gifts. He was just uncomfortable considering what he had done to deserve it.

“Are the planes that Suho hyung sends you out on nice?” Chanyeol’s voice boomed from Jongdae’s laptop speakers. He had a video call going with his friend while he was running around his room putting his clothes away. Chanyeol didn’t seem to mind, just spoke when he wanted to and occasionally got up to get something to eat. Jongdae didn’t really notice.

Jongdae laughed as he hung up his shirt. “Yeah, they’re pretty cool. First class.”

“Do you get food?”

“Yeah.”

“Good food?”

“I mean, it’s pretty good. It’s airplane food.” Jongdae shrugged and went back over to his suitcase, fishing through it.

“Do you get to drink?”

Jongdae snorted. “Yeah. Minseok hyung likes beer so that’s all we really drink on the planes. It’s good. I’ve gotten accustomed to Chinese beer.”

“Huh, that’s good.” Chanyeol cleared his throat and Jongdae went back to hanging things up. The two stayed in silence for a while, as they were wont to do, and Chanyeol broke it after a few minutes. “Are you going to talk to Yixing?”

Jongdae closed his closet door and stared ahead, trying to absorb this question. Chanyeol and Baekhyun had grilled him accordingly when they had hung out over the week, and while Baekhyun had seemingly lost interest, it looked like Chanyeol was still very fascinated. Jongdae let out a small breath.

“What is there to talk about? He already turned me down.”

“You should fuck him with Jingfei again,” Chanyeol was snarfing down a black licorice stick, and Jongdae came closer so he could look at him. He had his laptop at the end of the bed, and knelt down so he could be at face-level.

“I don’t know.”

“You said the last time was cool, though.” Chanyeol swallowed, and Jongdae eyed him. “So maybe next time will be even better. Now that you’re into him and all.”

“He’s probably fuckin’ afraid of me.”

“I don’t think so.”

“I tried to suck his dick, man.”

“And he didn’t like, beat you up! He just said no! So ask him if the three of you can get together, and while he’s fucking your girl,” Chanyeol broke into a little laugh, “slip a finger in his ass.”

Jongdae burst out laughing, and fought back the urge to say “that’s not how it works”. Huh. Just the idea that he was somewhat-versed in assholes made him feel a little...proud? “I’m not gonna do that. No.”

“Ninety-five percent chance he will let you suck his dick.”

“Chanyeol, no.”

“If he turns down a blowjob in the middle of a threesome just because you’re a dude, you deserve better!” Chanyeol slammed his fist down on his desk, and Jongdae laughed. “If you’re looking for it then you deserve the best fuckin’ gay sex in the world!”

“Chanyeol, you’re such a freak.”

“I want you to suck a dick. I want you to suck Yixing’s mobster cock.” As soon as the words left his mouth Chanyeol burst out laughing, having to stop gnawing on his licorice stick to double over.

Jongdae swatted at the screen. “I can go out and suck a dick if that makes you so happy.”

“Do it, do it, and tell him that I send my love.” Chanyeol smiled a dimpled smile and Jongdae shook his head at him.

“Nah.”

“You’re making progress, though. And that’s good.” Chanyeol looked back at something on his computer screen.

Jongdae blinked at him. “What are you talking about?”

“You want to go suck a dick. That’s good.” He laughed a little and then smiled at the screen. “Baekhyun-ah was worried about you, he said that you were beating yourself up about being bisexual or whatever.”

Jongdae frowned. He hadn’t really gone into his sexual exploits with his friends, in fear of his time spent with Suho coming to light. The fact that Baekhyun and Chanyeol were discussing it was a little...sweet? And some violation of the bro code, but Jongdae didn’t seem to care. “I am not.”

Chanyeol shrugged. “It was Baekhyun, not me. I didn’t see any of that.” He took a bite out of his licorice. “I just thought you needed to be comfortable with it and you seem to be right now. So.” He shrugged again. “It all worked out.”

Maybe he should tell Chanyeol about his possible budding relationship or maybe that he was toying with Chanyeol’s threesome idea or-- “I’m bisexual,” that was the first time he said it out loud, and it felt like a relief. It was something he had known for a while but he was telling someone and it was liberating.

Chanyeol blinked at him, chewing slowly. “I know that.”

“You and Baekhyun figured it out before I did.”

Chanyeol snorted. “Yeah, we know you. And we know when you’re choking down cock, too.”

Jongdae made a sound at him. “Chanyeol-ah, that’s gross!”

“Baekhyun and I installed a chip, it’s in the back of your neck. Whenever you’ve got a dick in your mouth, a little beep goes off on our watches.” Chanyeol snorted. “And we look at each other and nod sagely and go back to work.”

“And you slink to the bathroom to give each other sad handjobs,” Jongdae added, and Chanyeol laughed loudly.

“You’re dumb.”

“You fantasize about me giving blowjobs. Ugh.” Jongdae picked up his laptop and climbed onto his bed. “I finished unpacking.”

“You want me to go so you can go to sleep, right?” Chanyeol looked away from the screen.

“Yeah, I’m jet-lagged.”

“Alright. Have fun in your foreign country.”

“Later.” Jongdae turned off the call and shut his laptop. He pushed his face down into his pillow and tried to breathe. Baekhyun and Chanyeol were so fucking cool about everything that whenever he thought back to how afraid he was for them to find out, he felt disgusted with himself. They were going to accept him no matter what because they were friends and they crossed piss trails that one time when they were really drunk coming home from that party, and Chanyeol said something about how they were bound together for the rest of their lives, and Jongdae and Baekhyun had agreed. There was no reason for him to be upset.

He rolled onto his back and started to take his clothes off. He was going to wear the shirt Suho bought him to work tomorrow and everything was going to be fine. He would ask Jingfei if she was interested in hanging out with Yixing again and everything was going to be fine. And now that he had sucked a dick he would be able to get back to work.

 


	15. (nsfw) jongdae turns on his webcam

Jongdae was reading online reviews for Fallout 3 when his boss called him on Skype. He was caught off-guard and he stared at the screen for a moment before scowling and hovering his cursor over the “answer call” button. What the fuck. It was like two in the morning - which would make it three there, right? - and he had work the next day. Suho was so fucking weird. He answered the call anyway, and nervously tried to fix his appearance. He ran a hand through his hair, which did absolutely nothing, and reached to the foot of his bed to retrieve the t-shirt he was wearing earlier.

Suho’s screen loaded and Jongdae looked it over carefully. He was in his bedroom (god it was weird that Jongdae knew what his boss’ bedroom looked like that was weird really weird), lying on top of his covers on his front. He was pouting a little, presumably waiting for Jongdae’s camera to turn on, and smiled sleepily when Jongdae appeared. “Good evening.”

“It’s hardly evening,” Jongdae muttered, struggling to pull his shirt over his head. Seeing Suho was throwing him off, especially considering his shoulders were bare, and Jongdae could see a row of violet splotches on his collarbone.

“Awwh, baby, you don’t have to cover up.” He heard Suho sneering at him, and felt a blush rise to his cheeks. He hesitated, and then straightened his shirt out so he was comfortable.

“Eh.” That wasn’t any sort of response but Jongdae didn’t really want to engage him right now. Suho’s eyelids were low and vaguely purple in the shaky quality of his camera. Just looking at him made him feel tired. “What are you calling for?”

“I just saw you online,” Suho shifted his position a little bit, and then smiled. “Just wanting to see how you were doing. You’ve settled back in alright?”

“Uhm, yeah. I have a lot of work piled up on my desk but Kris hyung seems to have taken pity on me. I think Minseok hyung has it worse.”

“That’s unfortunate. Well, it happens.” Suho sighed, and Jongdae watched him. Even through a camera his skin was impossibly white, and Jongdae wanted to touch it just to see if it would shatter. _Dude, you’ve already done that before._ “You’ll get back into the swing of things.”

“I wore the shirt you bought me a couple days ago,” Jongdae piped up, and blinked. That had been on his mind lately, he wanted to tell Suho.

Suho beamed, his cheeks rising and making his eyes look even puffier. “Ahh, really? That’s so sweet. Does it fit well?”

“Yeah, it looks pretty good.”

“That’s great.” He blinked sleepily. “I’m glad you like it.”

“Hyung, you look like you’re about to fall asleep.” Jongdae breathed. “Maybe you should go to sleep.”

“Are you trying to get rid of me?” Suho sat up a little bit, and Jongdae saw more of his skin. He remembered how hot it felt against his own and grumbled some under his breath.

“No, I just think you look exhausted.”

“I am exhausted. But.” Suho grinned, locking eyes with him. “Want to have some fun?”

God. Jongdae was perfectly fine just sitting there reading video game reviews. But he hadn’t masturbated in like three or four days and leering at Suho’s body through a camera was sort of hot. He shifted in his seat and pulled at the collar of his shirt. “Uhm, maybe.”

“Maybe? What kind of answer is that?” Suho sat up so his face was out of the picture, and he put his hand on the front of his boxer shorts, which were suddenly Jongdae’s new frame of view. He rubbed his crotch slowly, and Jongdae swallowed.

“I mean...yes.” He hadn’t really intended that to be his answer but he was hypnotized by the way Suho fondled himself. Hell. Why not. It had been a while and maybe it would help take his mind off all of his work and having to see Yixing again--

Suho pushed his boxers down and pulled his cock out, and Jongdae almost flinched. Oh yeah, there were going to be penises. He still hadn’t quite gotten used to that yet. He watched Suho stroking himself and then fumbled to get his shirt off, throwing it off the bed. After that he wasn’t sure what to do. He had never had...webcam sex before? Was this what he was doing? What the actual hell. His life was a straight-up mystery at this point.

He watched Suho get himself hard for a bit, and then said lamely, “that’s really hot.” What else was there for him to say. Suho made a little laughy sound and leaned down so he could make eyes at Jongdae through the camera.

“You like it? Mm, you’re so sexy.” Jongdae squirmed a little because of the praise, but smiled anyway. “Can I see yours, baby?”

“Ahh,” Jongdae started, and then pushed the covers back over his body. He paused and remembered that Minseok hyung was sleeping only a room away. Fuck. He usually tried to masturbate only when Minseok hyung was out but now it was kind of a given and--

“You okay?” Suho interrupted his mind rant and Jongdae jolted back to reality. Suho was looking at him through the camera, some sort of concern on his sleepy face.

“Yeah, I’m fine! I’m totally fine. I’m.” He pulled his boxers down to show just how fine he was, and managed to push them off with his feet. He steadied his laptop on the bed and stroked his cock in one hand. “Let me see you.”

Suho grinned and leaned back, thrusting his hips forward and jerking his cock in his hand. He moved his hand to his mouth so he could spit on it, and then replaced it. Jongdae blushed a little and reached over to his bedside table - he had a bottle of hand lotion that he used for his “dry skin” but was actually there for masturbating - and squirted some lotion onto his hand. He brought it back and wrapped his hand around his cock - ahhh it was cold but fuck Suho hyung was rubbing himself faster - and began to stroke himself.

Suho grunted and leaned closer to the camera, watching Jongdae touch himself and biting his lip. “Fuck, you’re so sweet. The way you look at me, mm. You look so fucking cute.” Jongdae laughed softly; he wasn’t used to these kinds of words, but it was kind of nice anyway. Suho’s mouth dropped open and he used his hand to rub around the tip of his cock. “Call me hyung,” he said.

Jongdae swallowed. “Hyung,” he started, but didn’t know what to say after that. “Ahh, hyung. I want, uhm.” Shit, what did he want? “Jerk yourself faster. Ahh.” He watched Suho speed up, and he sped up his own hand subconsciously, hiking up his hips a bit. He tried to get himself into it. “I can-- I can feel your hand on my dick.”

That seemed to work, because Suho moaned, and thrusted his hips forward. “Fuck, I wish, I wish. Unnh. I want to suck your cock. Oh god, let me see-- move the camera.” Jongdae moved the camera and sat up a bit so Suho could get a better view of him. Suho groaned and ran his palm over the tip of his dick. “You’re so sexy.”

“Thank you, hyung,” Jongdae said softly, a little distracted by the wetness on his cock. Suho was watching him with a kind of tired lust that made Jongdae feel powerful. He bit his lip and mimicked the way Suho’s hand moved. “Ohh, hyung. It feels so good. Go faster, ahh, it’s good.”

Suho smirked at him and pumped his cock in his hand feverishly, his eyes watching Jongdae’s hand speeding up. “Mm, you like that.”

“It’s good.” Jongdae dropped his head back onto his pillow, trying to focus on the heat rising in his thighs.

“That’s hot. Ahh, god, stroke that dick.” Jongdae listened to Suho’s voice guiding him, and whined, feeling himself get closer. Fuck, he always went so fast when he hadn’t come in a while. He jerked his hips up and could practically feel Suho grinning at him. He came with a loud moan that he quickly turned into a growl, trying to contain himself and not wake up Minseok. He breathed heavily and opened his eyes, looking back to the camera and watching the way his chest was heaving in his camera reflection.

“Ahh, hyung.” He sighed, watching Suho stroke himself. “I’m sorry.”

“You came so much, ahh.” Suho smiled at him and Jongdae looked around for a tissue to clean up the cum that was on his skin. “Wait, wait.” Jongdae stopped moving and looked back to Suho. “Just lay back, baby. Lay back and relax.”

Jongdae was more than willing to do that. He felt warm and sated after his orgasm, and lazing there with cum all over his abdomen sounded like a pretty good idea. He tried to quietly talk to Suho, but out of fear of Minseok waking up he mostly kept his mouth shut. Suho didn’t seem to mind, content with jerking the hell out of his dick and ogling Jongdae through the camera.

“Fuck, I’m gonna cum--” Jongdae was nearly half-asleep when Suho raised his voice, and he opened his eyes wider, trying to be present.

“Ahh, yeah.” Jongdae said. _Damn, that’s good dirty talk._ He tried to think of something else to say but Suho was cumming already, his face scrunching up while he groaned.

“Unnh, _fuck_!” Suho cursed, and breathed heavy, sitting back on his bed with a whump. He looked dazed, and sat there collecting himself for a moment, before smiling at Jongdae and raising his hand to wave at the camera. “You-- you’re a sweetheart. You’re wonderful. Come along--” he breathed in and coughed, readjusting his position so he could lay back down on his bed. “--you should come back here and stay.”

“Whaaat?” Jongdae closed his eyes, disinterested in this proposal already. “But I’m learning Chinese.”

“Baby, you can come back to Korea and I’ll give you a raise.” Suho leered at him, and Jongdae cracked open his eyes. He felt like he had gotten that bribe before. Hell, Suho probably wasn’t even lying...he still wasn’t interested.

“Uhhh...” Jongdae started, looking away from the camera. He was tired and sated and not willing to have a serious conversation with his boss right now.

“Come on,” Suho said, and Jongdae scoffed, shaking his head.

“I don’t really want to, hyung.”

“Why not?”

Jongdae blinked back at the camera. Suho looked a little friskier, but his eyes were still tired. “I just, I like it here. It’s a nice place. I’m not crazy stressed at work and living with Minseok hyung is nice...I have friends and--” _okay you don’t have to throw out every excuse you can think of_. He sighed a little, whatever, he wanted to. Maybe it would get Suho off of his back. “I have good friends here. And I’m kind of on a quest.”

That appeared to be a strange choice of words, because Suho paused, and then snorted out laughing. “What? Is that what Kris calls your missions?”

“No,” Jongdae was too tired to laugh at the image of straight-faced Kris telling him he had to go on a quest. “I mean, there’s something I have to do here.”

“What’s that?”

Jongdae pursed his lips. There was no reason for him to tell Suho about his relationship problems. Like come on. “It’s personal.”

“Is it a girl?” Suho smirked at him, and Jongdae blinked back.

“Uhh.” Jongdae sighed and sat up. “Kinda.”

“Really? You’ve found a nice Chinese girl? And you can talk to her?”

“You know what, you learn Chinese faster if you’ve got a Chinese girlfriend.” Jongdae smiled a little to himself. Could he call Jingfei his girlfriend? Probably not. He just jerked off on webcam with a dude so...probably not.

“So you do have one? And you didn’t tell me,” Suho shook his head, “the gall of it all.”

Jongdae barked out a laugh. “Why would I? You’re not telling me about your boyfriend or whatever.”

“You never asked about my boyfriend,” Suho said coyly, and Jongdae made a face at him. He wasn’t going to go down that road. That seemed dangerous.

“Whatever.” Jongdae grunted. “Whatever. I have a girl-person-friend here and I don’t know what our relationship is and it’s just. I don’t know. And there’s this other person from work and I just...”

“Someone from work?” Suho blinked at him. “You’re involved with someone from work? Really? Who is it?”

Jongdae huffed. “I don’t want to tell you. I shouldn’t.”

“I bet I know already. I have intel on all of you, you know. I know things about you that not even you know.” Suho furrowed his brow but the smile on his face downplayed it.

“You don’t. Nobody’s kissing and telling.”

“Are you dating?”

Jongdae laughed. As if he was dating Yixing. He didn’t even know if Yixing still liked him or not. “We’re not. We have, we have no relationship. We slept together and that’s that. No. We didn’t sleep together. We didn’t even sleep together but for some reason there’s tension and--” his voice broke off, and he stopped. He hadn’t intended to go on like that. Shit. He needed to invest in a muzzle. “Just, no. It’s dumb.”

Suho raised his eyebrows. “Sounds like there’s drama.”

“Not even. There’s nothing.”

“You’re upset, though.”

“I really don’t want to talk about this with you...” Jongdae sat up and breathed slowly. “Can we please just get off it?”

Suho didn’t say anything for a moment, and shrugged. “Oh, sure. Fine.” He made eyes at the camera. “I don’t want you to be upset, though.”

Jongdae laughed. “Sure.”

“I’m thinking of you, baby.”

“Please don’t.”

“But you’re so sweet. If you’re not sleeping with me I’d rather you sleep with someone you’re pining after.” Suho laughed, rubbing at his eyes. Jongdae sighed as loudly as he could.

“Thanks, I guess.” Jongdae raised his hands and rubbed his face. Trying to wrestle around the topic of Yixing with his boss wasn’t anything he had wanted to do. He glanced at the clock on his laptop and it was 2:41 in the morning. “Ohh, fuck.”

“What’s up, babe?”

“I have to wake up in five hours. And I’m exhausted.” Jongdae smiled softly at Suho through the camera. “So can I sleep?”

“Ahh, yeah. It is early, isn’t it.” Suho groaned and fell back against his bed. “Yeah, go to bed. Thanks for entertaining me.”

Jongdae thought that was a weird thing to say, but he wasn’t going to press it. “No problem. Thanks for calling. G’night.”

“Sleep well.” Jongdae clicked out of the call, and closed his eyes immediately. He was damn near ready to go to sleep. He managed to push his laptop off of himself and lean over to turn off the lamp.

He opened his phone, which was habit at this point. He needed to text Jingfei but now was not the time - she probably wouldn’t appreciate a text at three in the morning, and he was feeling sort of down from talking about Yixing. He didn’t trust himself sending some sort of sappy text. He dropped his phone next to him and buried his face in his pillow. He would text her tomorrow. Until then...he could just dream about sleeping with his boss.

 

 


	16. ROUND TWO

Jongdae and Jingfei had managed to see each other for a short coffee date before Jingfei had to go to work, but they hadn’t been able to meet up since then. Jongdae contemplated it with a heavy heart. Maybe she wasn’t interested in him. Maybe he wasn’t interested in her? He couldn’t figure out what he felt for Jingfei anymore, but for some reason it didn’t bother him. Perhaps she felt the same as him, or just wasn’t ready for a relationship right now...

“Jongdae-yah,” Minseok’s voice woke him up from his daydreaming, and Jongdae hit his knee on his desk, startling back to reality.

“Ahh, ah, yeah?” Jongdae blinked at Minseok, and Minseok stared at him for a second before giving a little smile. He had a flash drive in his outstretched hand.

“Can you run this for me?” Jongdae was already to his feet and reaching for the flash drive before Minseok was done with his question.

He nodded. “Yeah, I can do that.” Jongdae felt like most of his job was just him running things to Yixing lately, but he was okay with that. It was easy.

“Okay, thanks. You know where Lu Han’s office is, right?”

“Yes.” Jongdae pocketed the flash drive, and then paused. What? Why did he just assume that he was being asked to go to Yixing? He frowned, standing there and feeling insane. He could feel Minseok’s eyes on him, and left the room before Minseok could ask him what was wrong.

Whatever. Whatever, whatever! He had been back in China for at least two weeks now, and he had seen Yixing plenty of times, and he never lost his shit. So. It was just his mind messing with him. He wasn’t going to let obsessing over Yixing ruin his day.

He brought the flash drive to Lu Han, and spared no more than ten words before leaving the room. He wasn’t in the mood to shoot the shit, especially in Chinese. He just wanted to get back to work.

But when he passed by Yixing’s office door he hesitated. Well. He _had_ been planning to talk to Yixing. He hadn’t mentioned it when he had seen Jingfei but he was sort of kind of maybe looking forward to another romp in the sheets and damnit, what did Suho do to him? Jongdae brought his hand to his face and scowled, and then pulled away, trying not to look like a freak in the middle of the hallway. He would just. Go.

Jongdae knocked on Yixing’s door once, twice, and then opened it. Yixing was sitting at his desk, spitting rapid Chinese into his cell phone. He glanced up at Jongdae when Jongdae entered the room, furrowed his brow at him, and continued his conversation. Jongdae paused, standing there. He wasn’t sure what to do. Yixing was speaking so quickly that he couldn’t really understand, but maybe he--

“Are you just going to stand there?” Yixing pulled his phone away from his face, and spoke in heavily accented Korean. Jongdae felt his eyes widen, and he shook his hands at him.

“Uhm, no, I was--”

“Get out!” The fervor in Yixing’s voice scared Jongdae, and he scrambled on his feet to leave the room and shut the door behind him, spewing apologies in Chinese as fast as he could. He stood outside the door when he heard it click, with both hands braced on the door behind him. What the fuck was that? What the _fuck_ was that? Why did he just linger there? He was actually so bad at his job. He was so bad at everything.

By the time he made it back to his own office he had realized that it wasn’t that big of a deal. He plopped down in his chair and took Minseok’s thanks in his stride, calming down and refocusing himself on his work. He was just freaking out. Yixing was wearing a blue shirt today and that was Jongdae’s favorite color and it was freaking him out. There was nothing wrong. If there was something wrong, Minseok would be able to sense it and try to fix him.

A half an hour later Jongdae managed to pull himself away from his riveting expenses report when his cell phone went off. He looked at the text message, and bristled a bit when he saw it was from Yixing.

_is everything alright? what did you want?_

Oh. That was. Was that compassionate? Jongdae swore he could feel himself blushing, and he felt like an idiot. Yixing probably thought it was just work related. Jongdae sighed and pushed himself up, telling Minseok he would be right back.

He wasn’t going to respond to the text message. He thought it would be easier on his heart if he could get it over with quickly and not have to wait for responses. He took a deep breath when he got to Yixing’s office, and knocked on the door, waiting for a response.

“Yah?” Yixing made a ridiculous sound, and Jongdae smiled a little. He entered the room and shut the door behind him, remaining by it just in case he needed a quick escape. Yixing blinked at him. “So what’re you sneaking around for?”

“I’m not trying to sneak,” Jongdae excused himself. “I just wanted to talk to you. It’s not about work.”

Yixing didn’t respond, tapping the end of his pen against his desk repeatedly. Jongdae kept on looking at him, and finally Yixing sighed. “Okay. Talk to me.”

 _Here we go._ “I’ve just been thinking about, uhm, the date we went on a while ago, and I dunno, I was thinking that maybe the three of us could do something like it again.” He shrugged, trying to take the weight off of what he was saying. “Like, get dinner or whatever. Maybe go see Jingfei at the zoo. I don’t kno--”

“Did she tell you about our plan?” Yixing was chewing on the end of his pen, and Jongdae stared back at him. Before he could respond, Yixing continued, “not a date, by the way.” He smiled tightly. “Three friends hanging out, is what I would call it.”

Oh. Well, he wasn’t wrong. “No, she, uhm, I didn’t know there was a plan.” Jongdae blinked. “I didn’t know you guys talked.”

“We’ve been talking since we first got together.” Yixing leaned back in his chair. “She’s nice. We don’t really see each other, though. I suppose it would be nice to get together again.”

“What’s this plan?” Jongdae was a little nervous.

“We were just toying with the idea of going to see a movie.” Yixing laughed. “I guess we’ll just pick one when we get there. Maybe go out to dinner, see a movie. Go home and fuck.” The nonchalant way Yixing chewed on the end of his pen while he said this made Jongdae shiver a little. “I could make drinks again, if you’d like.”

“That sounds--that actually sounds great.” Jongdae breathed, and he felt a huge weight lifted off of his chest. Yixing didn’t seem completely annoyed by him. They were going to hang out again. That was...ridiculous.

“Alright. I’ll text her.” Yixing shot another tight-lipped smile at Jongdae, and Jongdae didn’t know if this was the end of their meeting or what. Jongdae fussed with the cuffs of his shirt, and nodded.

“Thank you, gē.” Jongdae bowed slightly, and Yixing nodded, leaning over his desk to reach for something. He picked up a folder and dropped it down in front of him.

“Go back to work and I’ll keep you updated,” Yixing’s voice became hard, and Jongdae jumped, bowing again.

“Yes, okay, thank you.” He left the room quickly, closing the door as quietly as he could, for no particular reason. He stood there in front of the door again, but this time feeling significantly lighter. He took a deep breath and tried to piece together everything that just happened.

Now that he was at least a level three bisexual, another threesome didn’t seem so daunting. He was just scared that he would be overzealous. He cleared his throat and started off back to his office. He was making so much progress today but...fuck it. He doubted he’d be able to get his mind back down to Earth.

 


	17. (nsfw) jongdae has a great day

About a week later Jongdae, Jingfei, and Yixing went to go see Star Trek at the movie theater near Yixing’s apartment. It was Saturday night and the building was crawling with young couples, but Jongdae figured he was the only one there who was going to have a threesome tonight. And that made him feel really cool.

Yixing and Jongdae waited around the restrooms while Jingfei got herself a slushie at the concessions stand. In the hour they had been together, they hadn’t traded many words, which was not unusual, but still made Jongdae anxious as hell. He glanced over to Yixing, looking from his black boots up to his black slacks and black jacket. He certainly looked like a mobster, a mobster with a ticket for the Star Trek movie in his hand. Jongdae shoved his hands into the pouch on his hoodie so he could fumble his fingers together without being noticed.

Yixing leaned up against the wall and when his jacket slipped down his shoulder, revealing his gun holster, Jongdae felt time stop. His eyes went wide and he squawked, but tried to keep his voice down, hissing at Yixing. “Yixing gē!” Yixing raised his eyes to look at him. “You can’t just-- why did you bring your--” Jongdae dropped his voice “-- _gun_ with you?”

Yixing blinked at him and held his stare for a moment too long, making Jongdae uncomfortable. He pursed his lips, creating a dimple that almost distracted Jongdae from his response. “I bring it with me everywhere. Why don’t you have yours?”

Jongdae swallowed. “Because I’m not...” Jongdae hadn’t been sent out on many field missions yet, content to just sit behind a desk and file papers. His gun was stashed somewhere in a drawer in his bedroom, and he hadn’t thought about it in a while. “I just, I just don’t bring it with me all the time.” He frowned. “Especially to a movie theater. We could get in so much trouble--”

“Relax,” Yixing said, and he shifted his weight so that his jacket was covering the holster. “Nobody’s on the lookout for a guy with a gun. No one’s paying attention to us.”

“If Jingfei sees it she will _freak out_ , gē.”

Like he had summoned her, Jingfei walked up to the twosome, fussing the straw in her slushie around with her teeth. “Are you guys ready? What theater are we in?”

“Six,” Jongdae replied, and they made their way to the room. Jingfei gushed over a life-size poster of Wilson Chen, and she and Jongdae’s hands intertwined. They kept their hands together until they sat down in the back row, Jongdae feeling a little weird as he was put in between Jingfei and Yixing.

Jongdae and Jingfei kept their conversation light and giggly, with Yixing interjecting with a sentence here and there. When the lights dimmed for the coming attractions Jongdae let out a coo that made Jingfei burst out laughing at him.

By the time the movie started Jongdae couldn’t remember the last time Yixing spoke, but he wasn’t concerned with that, because Jingfei was leaning on his shoulder and it felt welcome and warm. A half an hour in he could feel her breath on his neck, and he thought he could fall asleep right then and there, content in his stiff chair with his feet on the sticky floor.

At a quiet point in the movie, Jongdae felt daring, and he turned his head to kiss Jingfei on the cheek. Jingfei moved to kiss him back, and when their lips lingered on each other Jongdae felt a shiver down his spine. He kept kissing her, and they introduced their tongues, completely apathetic to the people around them and the film on the opposite wall. It was a perfect moment for him, and exactly what he needed after such a month - Jingfei’s lips were so soft, and she kissed him with a fervor that made him feel wanted.

Before he realized it, the credits were rolling, and the lights coming up in the theater made Jingfei notice the movie was over. She pulled away from Jongdae, and Jongdae paused, feeling like he was coming up for air. Jingfei laughed and nuzzled her head against Jongdae’s shoulder, and then moved to straighten herself out. “That was...a good movie.”

“Yeah,” Jongdae said, breathlessly, and he turned to Yixing’s side. Yixing was still mostly absorbed in the screen, but when he saw Jongdae’s movement he turned his eyes to meet him.

“Should we go?” He suggested, and Jongdae nodded. They stood up, stretching their sore limbs out, and exited the theater, Jongdae listening to Jingfei stumble her way through a conversation about the movie with Yixing. It made him smile.

Jingfei went to go throw out her slushie, and Jongdae watched her. “Thanks for making out during the movie I bought you tickets for,” Yixing said offhandedly, and right when Jongdae jumped to apologize, he smirked. “I’m just kidding, I don’t care. I’m proud.”

Jongdae laughed hesitantly, and Yixing waved at him. “I’m going to go to the bathroom before we go, okay?” Jongdae nodded at him and Yixing walked towards the men’s restroom. Jingfei came to Jongdae and pushed his side a little bit, and Jongdae smiled at her.

“Hey.” Just a word from his lips made Jingfei laugh, and Jongdae assumed she was still a little high from their hour-long makeout session. “Good movie, am I right?”

“Great movie,” Jingfei poked Jongdae in the chest. “I can’t remember a damn thing.”

“Neither can I!” They both laughed, and Jongdae grinned at her. “Maybe we should go see it again.”

“Mm, later.” Jingfei cocked her head to the side. “You’ll come see the Wilson Chen movie with me, won’t you?”

“Do you want me to?”

“Of course. You’re fun to be around.” Jingfei smiled, and even through that Jongdae didn’t know how he felt about that response. His stomach felt a little wishy-washy and it was undesired.

“Should we bring Yixing? Or is he kind of a lame moviegoer?” Jongdae grinned tightly, and Jingfei shrugged.

“It depends on whether or not he wants to.” The nonchalance in her voice was intriguing Jongdae to no end. So he let his asshole voice win.

“I thought you and Yixing gē kind of, like, hung out.” The thought had been buzzing around his head all night, but he didn’t know if he wanted to bring it up or not. Well, it was out in the open now.

Jingfei blinked at him. “No, we don’t, not really.”

“He told me that you guys were talking, at least.” Jongdae pursed his lips and tried to look elsewhere, but the look on Jingfei’s face was something quizzical that made Jongdae confused.

“We...we’ve talked like.” Jingfei thought about it. “Like twice.” She laughed a little. “Yeah, once was talking about seeing a movie with you. And the other time, I think, he was asking me about a restaurant that’s near my place.” She laughed again. “I don’t really know him, Jongdae.”

“Oh. Really.” His heart was no longer in his stomach, and that was good.

“But I mean, I do like hanging out with him!” Jingfei raised her voice, her eyes widening. “Don’t get me wrong! Really. He’s funny and he’s, he’s fun to sleep with,” she laughed, and Jongdae chuckled nervously.

“Yeah.”

“I’m sorry if I made you jealous,” Jingfei said, and Jongdae cursed his dumb face and how easily it showed everything he was thinking. Jongdae hung his head.

“No, it’s. I don’t know. I’ve been thinking about a lot of things lately.” He sighed. “I like you a lot, Jingfei.”

“I like you too, Jongdae.” Her smile was a little shaky, and Jongdae didn’t know what to do about it. When his eyes met hers she cemented her grin. “I mean it.”

“Thanks,” Jongdae didn’t know why he felt the need to thank her, but he did anyway. Jingfei took his hands in hers.

“But I don’t know if I’m ready for a relationship yet.” Jongdae wasn’t expecting that, and his head swam for a good three seconds before fully processing that. It was a very understandable position, at least. Maybe...something familiar? He blinked. What the hell was he pining for with Jingfei, anyway? She didn’t completely occupy his thoughts, but he liked who he was when she was near. He was thinking of maybe starting something with her, but that would be unwise considering he was so eager to jump into bed with other men, wouldn’t it.

He paused, and then piped up. “Me neither.” It was simple and it came out easier than he thought it would. “I’m happy where we are now.”

“Me too,” Jingfei’s smile was huge, and Jongdae wanted to enjoy it a little longer, but Yixing came up to them. “Ready to go home?”

“Yeah,” Jingfei and Jongdae said in unison, and they were able to engage Yixing in conversation the entire way home, something they had been struggling with beforehand. He was seeming a bit more chipper, so maybe it was the darkness in the theater that put his brain to sleep.

Jongdae had only been to Yixing’s apartment a few times, sometimes to play video games with Lu Han and Minseok and once when he was in a threesome. It was strange how familiar the five-room home was to him, but he was glad for it. Yixing went to the kitchen to make drinks nobody had actually asked for, and Jingfei patted him on the head before going to the bathroom. Jongdae plopped down on the couch and pulled his hoodie over his head.

Yixing returned to him in no less than thirty seconds, handing him a glass of something ambiguous that Jongdae was hesitant to try. “Sorry for being so quiet,” Yixing said as he sat down in the chair near the couch, “I’m so fucking stoned. I’m coming down.” He bit at the side of his thumbnail, and then reached down to unhook his gun holster from his belt. He removed it and placed it on the coffee table, and then looked up at Jongdae. “Is that better?”

“Put it away before Jingfei sees it,” Jongdae quivered, and Yixing nodded, getting up to do so. He dropped it off in his bedroom and came back. “You’re smart.”

“I’m paranoid,” Jongdae replied, but still smirked at the compliment. He heard the click of Jingfei closing a door, and he smiled at her when she walked into the common room. Yixing handed her the third glass, and she took it gratefully, but made a face after she took a sip.

“Yixing, what is this.” She blinked at him.

“Vodka.”

“And what else?”

Yixing paused, apparently racking his brain for the answer. “And...whatever that juice was Lu Han had out on the counter.”

Jingfei snorted and sat down on the couch next to Jongdae, putting her drink down on the table. Jongdae followed her lead, not wanting to try whatever it was Yixing had made him. She cuddled against his arm for a bit, and then turned to Yixing. “Are you okay?”

“I’m terrific,” he replied, with a little smile. The word was foreign and not something Jongdae had encountered in his Chinese studies. “How are you?”

“I’m also terrific.” Jongdae still didn’t know what that word was, but they were both smiling, so he figured it was good. Yixing took a long sip from his glass and didn’t make a face, but put it down on the table anyway.

“Shall we?” Yixing licked his lips and stood up. “I don’t want to be left out tonight.”

Jingfei smirked at him. “You won’t be left out,” she got up to her feet, and Yixing grabbed her, pulling her into a kiss. She responded happily, wrapping her arms around his neck, and Jongdae made a little sound that went unnoticed. He stood up, ready to take this somewhere else, and Yixing swiftly picked Jingfei up, holding her in his arms. She laughed loudly and he grinned at Jongdae.

“C’mon.” Jongdae very awkwardly followed them to the bedroom, and he closed the door behind them, watching Yixing gently drop Jingfei to the bed. She tried to follow his lips with her own, but he had other things in mind, moving his head to her neck and kissing at the skin there. He threw his jacket off and let it hit his dresser, Jongdae recoiling a bit at the sound of the metal buttons on wood. Jongdae pulled his shirt over his head to distract himself, and he watched Yixing push Jingfei’s blouse up over her bra. He kissed at her abdomen, above her navel, and then traveled up to take her breasts in his hands. She let out a little sigh and Jongdae swallowed hard.

Jongdae walked over to help her get out of her blouse, not exactly knowing what to do at this point. He stood by the bed and watched Yixing grope Jingfei for a while, and then he climbed on it, undoing his belt shakily. Yixing pushed Jingfei’s bra out of the way and took her nipple into his mouth, and she moaned softly, trying to adjust her arms so she could take her bra off. It took her a moment but she succeeded, and she threw the garment to the floor. Jongdae bit his lip as he watched Yixing licking and sucking at Jingfei’s nipple, and when he looked up to her eyes Jongdae recoiled, looking away as if he was trying to go unnoticed. He felt so awkward.

When Yixing moved his attention to Jingfei’s other breast, Jingfei sighed and reached back to grope Jongdae’s crotch. He wasn’t expecting it, and he let out a little sound. He pulled his zipper down and she dug into his jeans, feeling his growing arousal with her hand. Yixing pulled away from Jingfei’s breasts with a groan and swiftly pulled his shirt over his head, throwing it elsewhere and moving to pull Jingfei’s skirt down. He hesitated and looked up at her. “This is okay, baby?”

“Mm, yes.” She sat up and pulled him into a slow kiss, and Jongdae fondled himself as he watched them make out. He took this time to struggle out of his jeans and boxers, glad that they were too immersed in each other to notice him flailing.

Yixing pulled away from the kiss and went back to taking Jingfei’s skirt off. He managed to hook his fingers into her underwear, and he pulled them down in a hurry, getting lost in the flowy fabric of Jingfei’s long skirt. She let out a little giggle as he managed to throw her clothes to the side, and then a gasp when Yixing spread her legs with his hands. He “mmm”ed softly at the sight, and backed himself off of the end of the bed, getting on his knees and pulling Jingfei closer. He brought his tongue to her slit and she gasped again, reaching back frantically to grab at Jongdae. Jongdae made a noise when he realized he was wanted, and he scooted closer, sighing when Jingfei put her hand around his cock. He watched the way Yixing made her writhe with his tongue, and he got hard quickly.

Yixing ran his tongue over Jingfei’s clit and her breath hitched, bucking her hips against his face. “Fuck, Yixing.” The way she moaned his name made Jongdae feel hot, and he thrusted his cock against her hand. She gripped it tighter and started to pump it in her hand, and he bit his lip. She jerked his cock enthusiastically, and then came to a slow, rocking her hips against Yixing. “Oh, oh, oh my god!” She took her hand off of Jongdae’s cock but he didn’t care, feeling turned on enough watching her ride out an orgasm. She put her hands on Yixing’s head and moaned loudly, not letting him move away until a few long moments later. He sat up and grinned, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand and climbing back up onto the bed.

“God, you’re sexy,” he told her, taking her back into a kiss. She returned it, her chest still rising and falling tiredly. He pulled away to yank his pants and boxers off, and Jongdae swallowed when he saw how hard Yixing’s cock was. He was surprised with himself. He wasn’t afraid of it! That was certainly some sort of milestone.

Yixing stood up and went over to his side table, opening it up, and Jingfei grabbed Jongdae’s hand. “Jongdae,” she said to him, and pulled him down to kiss her quickly. He smiled against her lips, and jumped away when he felt Yixing pushing at him.

“Here,” he handed him a condom, and Jongdae nodded rapidly, thanking him. He watched Yixing slip a condom on himself with a finesse that Jongdae knew he would never have, and bit the insides of his mouth. Yixing moved down to kiss Jingfei again, and whispered, “I want to fuck you. I can put it in, right?”

“Yes, please,” Jingfei wrapped her arms around his neck, and Yixing steadied himself at her entrance, and pushed in slowly. Jingfei groaned, the sound strained, and she pawed at the air, looking for Jongdae. He moved closer when he realized she was trying to grab at him, and he sighed when she started to pump his cock again. He watched Yixing do the familiar push and pull at a snail’s pace, letting Jingfei get used to the feeling of his cock inside of her, and eventually he began to speed up, pushing more of himself in. She moaned with each thrust he gave her, and Jongdae watched her breasts bounce. He moved his hand to grab one and Jingfei sat up a bit, moving out of the way, and then she put Jongdae’s cock in her mouth.

Jongdae groaned at the feeling of her tongue spinning around the tip of his cock. She massaged the sensitive skin slowly, and then took more of his cock in her mouth, sucking on it lazily at first and then moving faster. Jongdae saw Yixing’s eyes watching him and his temperature rose, and he felt comfortable enough to start gently thrusting back into Jingfei’s mouth. She moaned, and when Yixing started to thrust into her faster she pulled her mouth off of Jongdae’s cock to let out a loud groan.

His cock lingered on her lips, and she opened her eyes, looking up to see Yixing’s mouth fall open. He was moaning softly, and Jongdae reached down to pull at his dick, his arousal hitting new heights. Jingfei sucked on the tip for a second and he felt a tickle in the back of his legs, and she took his cock back in her mouth for a few moments, sucking and then pulling away, looking up at Jongdae and saying to him in a somewhat shaky, singsong-y voice, “your dick is so hard, oppa.”

 _That_ was a word he hadn’t heard in a while. He groaned loudly and started to rock his hips against Jingfei, feeling her take him into her mouth again and nearly falling over. He steadied himself, and felt Jingfei slow on his dick. He watched Yixing rolling his hips against hers with his hands firmly on her hips, making her moan with each thrust. He felt his breath start to slow, and he remembered the way Suho felt inside of him. Fuck. He wasn’t sure if Suho was as good at it as Yixing seemed to be. Or maybe he was. Maybe they were both very talented. Whatever it was, he felt a little desire to get fucked the way Yixing was fucking Jingfei.

He swallowed hard, and then pulled away, looking to Yixing. “Xing gē,” he said roughly, and then cleared his throat, “I want to fuck her.”

Yixing laughed, and kept thrusting into Jingfei, watching her face. “Is that okay, babe?”

“Hmm, yes,” she sat up a little bit after Yixing pulled out, and smirked at him when he moaned. Yixing rolled over to the side, and Jingfei grabbed Jongdae’s arm, pushing him down on his back. “Here,” she said, and she moved to climb on top of him. Jongdae groaned just at the prospect, and scrambled to put the condom on. Jingfei sat on his thighs, watching him struggle, and she smiled at him when he accomplished it. “Ready?”

“So fucking ready,” Jongdae breathed, sitting up to kiss her, and he moaned when he felt her entrance pushing down on his hard cock. She took him in slowly, her mouth falling open and small gasps coming out. When he felt himself completely inside, he let out a strained groan, twitching his hips up a bit. Jingfei moaned and put her hands on his chest, beginning to pull up and move back down. Jongdae’s mouth dropped open. “Ohhh, yes. Fuck yes.”

Jingfei rode him slowly for a while, and when she began to speed up, Jongdae licked his lips. He groaned and looked over to Yixing, who was watching the two and stroking his dick lackadaisically. Jongdae bit his lip. Would this be a stupid thing to do. He had a stupid idea. Would it be stupid. Would it be _that_ stupid...

“Yixing gē,” he said, and he motioned Yixing over. “Come here-- oohhh, god.” Jingfei felt so tight and hot and he thought he might explode. Yixing scooted closer, hesitantly, and Jongdae looked up at him. “Can I do this?” He brought Yixing’s dick into his mouth, and Yixing jumped a little, but didn’t pull away. Jongdae started to suck on him, remembering the way he did it to Suho. Whenever he felt Jingfei tighten around his cock he groaned, sending little vibrations onto Yixing’s cock and making Yixing twitch his hips.

“Mmm, Jongdae, that’s so hot.” Jingfei told him, and Jongdae was a little bit amused that Jingfei thought so. He kept sucking Yixing’s cock, taking it further into his throat and groaning. This felt good. This was exactly what he wanted from the goddamn beginning and it was happening and it was great--

Jingfei rolled her hips on his cock deliciously, and he pulled away, moaning loudly. “Ohh, fuck!” He started to curse in Korean, and didn’t really care. “You feel incredible. Holy fuck. Ohh, fuck.”

Yixing grunted, and Jongdae felt him readjust his position, getting closer to Jongdae’s face. Jongdae breathed hotly onto his cock, and then took it back into his mouth, sucking on it feverishly. Yixing started to thrust his hips, and Jongdae felt like some sort of champion, sucking off a straight guy and feeling on top of the world. He let Yixing fuck his throat and he moved his hands to put on Jingfei’s hips, bringing her down onto his cock harder. She moaned and he moved his hand to play with her clit.

After a moment Yixing made a choked sound, and he pulled his cock out of Jongdae’s mouth, moving his hand to stroke it. Jongdae watched the look on Yixing’s face when he came to climax, and moaned himself, giving his mouth something to do. He had vaguely wanted to finish Yixing off with his mouth, but he was distracted by the way Jingfei clenched around him.

“Fuck, fuck.” He said, fingering her clit faster. She bit her lip and rolled her hips harder, and Jongdae nearly thought he saw stars. He almost called out, but Jingfei cut him off.

“Ohh, _oh_ , Jongdae! Keep-- keep going like that-- oh, _god_ \--” Jingfei squealed, and the way she was clenching and writhing against his cock made Jongdae’s mouth fall open. She kept moaning, riding him exhaustedly, and he started to hitch his hips up.

“I’m close, Jingfei, ahh.” At his word she started to ride him with more enthusiasm, and Yixing leaned over to start kissing her. She was more than eager, and she rode Jongdae’s cock faster with Yixing’s lips on her own. Jongdae groaned lowly and thrusted his hips hard, making Jingfei call out. His orgasm was intense and he was breathing heavy as he came down. Jingfei moaned a little and watched Jongdae calm, and then started to pull off.

“Ahh, Jongdae.” She lifted off of Jongdae’s cock and then fell down onto the bed, and Yixing took her in his arms. He kissed her again, and Jingfei cuddled closer into his arms. She smiled at Jongdae, and Jongdae just shook his head in slow disbelief, mouth wide open. She giggled softly, and Yixing pulled her down to lay next to Jongdae.

“See, we all need to hang out more often.” Yixing said as Jongdae pulled the condom off of his cock with arms that felt like jelly. He found the trash can and threw it in there, and rolled back to the warm bodies on the bed. He nodded.

“Yes. Yes, I agree.” His breathlessness made Jingfei laugh, and he smiled. “You guys exhaust me.”

“That’s the point,” Jingfei said, and she smiled as she kissed his forehead. It was the perfect touch to end the evening, and Jongdae felt complete content as he melted into the mattress. He could hear Jingfei and Yixing having lazy pillow talk in Chinese, and he didn’t pay complete attention. It was difficult to think, so he was happy to shut his mind off, and relax.

 


	18. (nsfw) jongdae completes the mission

Jongdae was woken up the next morning by Jingfei’s Doctor Who ringtone, but he was too tired to get out of bed and start the day. He rolled over onto his front and listened to Yixing and Jingfei talking to each other, and felt the bed rise when Jingfei got off of it. He must’ve fallen asleep again, because a second later Yixing was shaking his shoulder. When he turned to look at him Yixing was fully clothed, and Jongdae sat up a bit. “Ahh, what’s going on?”

“I’m gonna take Jingfei back to her place, alright? I’ll be back soon. Just stay here, okay, Lu Han’s around.”

“Alright...” Jongdae agreed, and looked to the doorway when Jingfei entered. She was in the same outfit as last night, of course, and Jongdae smiled at her. “Morning.”

“Good morning,” she said airily, grinning as she went over to kiss Jongdae on the forehead. Jongdae nearly fell back against the bed and squirmed, feeling warm and fuzzy and on top of the world. “I’m going home now.”

“Drive safe,” Jongdae said, swatting his hand in their direction.

Jingfei nodded. “I’ll text you sometime, okay?”

“Awesome.” Jongdae smiled sleepily at her, and waved as they left the room. He rolled back onto his front when Yixing closed the door behind him, and shoved his face into the pillow. Everything around him smelled like Yixing, which made sense, because this is where Yixing lived. It was a nice smell, and pretty unique, some sort of mix of smoke and musk and sugar cookie. Jongdae had never smelled anything like it.

He was falling in and out of sleep so fluidly that he almost didn’t realize time had passed when he heard Yixing and Lu Han talking outside of the door. He blinked and looked up at the bedside clock, and noted it was about an hour since Jingfei had left. Hmm. He sat up and looked around for his phone. He was pretty sure he didn’t have anything to do today, which made him feel comfortable to just sit in Yixing’s bed all day. Yixing probably wouldn’t appreciate that, though. The door opened and Jongdae gave Yixing a soft smile as he entered the room.

“Hey,” he said, and Yixing nodded in his direction. He took off his jacket and dropped it on the chair by the door, and then started to unbutton his dress shirt. Jongdae stared at him for a second before looking away. He was doing something, right? Looking for his phone, yeah. But now he felt frozen. He could see Yixing stripping out of the corner of his eye and holy shit. What was happening? Yixing was just being as frustrating as usual, right? Jongdae felt the bed sink a little bit and his breath hitched in his throat. Yeah yeah yeah that was it.

“I’m fucking exhausted,” Yixing said, laying back against his pillows and staring straight ahead. “If I get called into work today I’ll be pissed.”

“...yeah,” was all Jongdae could muster in response. He couldn’t believe how frazzled he was, but holy shit he couldn’t really blame himself, Yixing and all of his pecs and abs and V-lines that led down into his boxers were suddenly inches away.

Yixing didn’t seem perturbed by Jongdae’s lacking response. He rolled on his side so he was facing Jongdae, but Jongdae noticed that he had his eyes closed, and seemed to be soliloquizing to himself. “Kris has been making me go out on missions by myself, because Lu Han’s still on probation, y’know? And fuck that nonsense, it’s difficult enough trying to not get shot when you’ve got someone else with you. But by yourself, it’s insanity.”

“Mhm,” Jongdae said quietly. He had never been shot at before, so he couldn’t really sympathize. He looked over and felt vaguely voyeuristic watching Yixing laying there with his eyes closed, and he swallowed hard, scooting a tiny bit away so he could give Yixing space. Yixing noticed the movement, and cracked his eyes open. He stared at Jongdae for a second, and then gave him a little smile.

“Do you want to go?”

“What?”

“I mean, you don’t have to hang around my place all day. You can stay if you want, I don’t care. But I can dri...I can get Lu Han to drive you home.” He yawned, and Jongdae smiled shyly. Yixing’s face was cute when it was all scrunched up.

“Uhm, your bed’s really comfy. I’d be okay staying here,” he laughed nervously, and Yixing nodded, closing his eyes again.

“Yeah, it’s pretty great.”

“You’re chatty this morning,” Jongdae bit his lip to keep from breaking out into a huge grin. “I mean, you’re talking more than you usually do, at least.”

“Ehhh, I talk. I talk as much as anyone else.”

“You were pretty quiet last night.”

Yixing didn’t respond to this, just sat there. He wiggled a little and looked up at the ceiling. “I was just enjoying you and Jingfei getting along, I guess. Should I have talked more?”

“I-I mean, I don’t care, it was fine. We still had fun.”

“You like her, don’t you?” Jongdae felt it appropriate to finally look at Yixing, since he was addressing him. Yixing’s collarbones were out and about and it was hard to concentrate.

“Uhm, I mean. I do like her. She’s really fun to hang out with. But I’m not totally crazy about her, y’know.”

“Ahh.” Yixing kept staring at the ceiling, and then cracked a small smile. “I thought you were really into her. That’s why I kinda kept my mouth shut last night.” His smile widened, and Jongdae saw his teeth. “To be honest, I really wanted to get her alone. But the two of you were so cute that I decided not to throw that wrench in your relationship.” Yixing smiled at him, and Jongdae felt his heart skip a beat. He didn’t know what to say, and just nodded rapidly, trying to show Yixing he approved of everything that was being said. Yixing snorted a little. “Are you okay?”

“All this time I just, I thought you didn’t like me, hah.” Jongdae laughed and shook his head. “It’s just kinda weird.”

“You thought I didn’t like you? Why the hell would you think that?” Yixing frowned at him.

Jongdae pursed his lips, wanting to take back his words already. God, he was so bad at talking to Yixing. “Just, uhm, I dunno, I bother you at work a lot, that’s all. I just figured you thought I was annoying...”

“I don’t think you’re annoying.” Yixing’s brow was furrowed in such a way that made Jongdae feel foolish. Jongdae opened his mouth to apologize, but Yixing kept speaking. “I just thought you had a crush on me. You’re not bothersome.”

Jongdae froze, feeling his face go from bright red to sickly green in a span of two seconds. “I don’t have a crush on you, wuh! Yixing gē, that’s silly!”

Yixing laughed, the sound light and airy and higher-pitched than Jongdae had expected. “You’re so neurotic whenever you talk to me, Jongdae, I can tell I make you nervous.”

Jongdae whined; he felt very trapped, and was grateful that Yixing waited until Jingfei had left to have this conversation. “Not true, not true!”

“Naah, shut up.” Yixing crossed his arms on his chest, and Jongdae swallowed hard. He stared Yixing in the face, looking away from his eyes after a second or two. He dropped his eyes to Yixing’s lap, stared at the bedsheets, and then flinched. Yixing cleared his throat, and when Jongdae looked back up at him he had a vague smile on his face. “I don’t mind that you have a crush on me, Jongdae.”

Jongdae grumbled. “I don’t have a crush on you, I swear. It’s just weird.”

“What’s weird?” Jongdae could hear the smile in Yixing’s voice, and felt vaguely patronized. Jongdae scowled.

“Just. Wuh. The first time we all slept together I started having weird dreams, yeah? I told you that.” Jongdae sighed. “So I’ve been figuring myself out for a while. I just thought I was straight all my life but then I started feeling attracted to guys. And I figured some shit out and I know I’m bisexual now.” He huffed. “That’s all! No crush on you! I just thought you were hot...”

Yixing laughed, and Jongdae pursed his lips. He didn’t know whether to break into a huge grin or burst into tears. But why was he thinking like that, anyway? He knew he didn’t have a chance with Yixing-- he didn’t _want_ a chance with Yixing, he wasn’t interested in him. But for some reason Yixing not reaching out and taking his hand to comfort him was really stinging.

“I’m glad I helped you figure things out, I guess.” Yixing said. “Even if I didn’t know what I was doing.”

“You were helpful,” Jongdae mumbled.

“That’s good.”

“You let me suck your dick last night, y’know.” Jongdae turned all the way so that he could face Yixing, and fussed with the bedsheets in his hands in front of him. He locked eyes with Yixing for a second, and then looked back to his lap. “So. S-so you’re not some perfectly heterosexual ideal.”

The side of Yixing’s mouth lifted in a little smirk, and he raised an eyebrow at Jongdae. “Yeah, okay. I got my dick sucked. There’s nothing gay about that.”

Jongdae chuckled. “Yah, yah, I guess that’s true.”

“If you’re trying to convince me that I’m bisexual then you’re not going to go home happy.” Yixing pursed his lips, and Jongdae swallowed. Jongdae looked down, not entirely sure where he was intending to go with his words anyway. Yixing continued. “I’m pretty goddamn straight.”

“I know that. I’m not trying to convince you that you’re bisexual.”

“Then what are you doing?”

“I don’t...I don’t really know.”

“Just because I’m hetero doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy you sucking my dick every now and then,” Yixing leaned back a bit against his pillows. “But even that doesn’t mean I’m bisexual. I sleep with whoever I want and I prefer sleeping with women. Sometimes there’s you, though.” Yixing gave Jongdae a little look that left his eyes seconds later. Jongdae swallowed.

“I’m glad I’m your designated gay,” Jongdae said, and Yixing laughed. Jongdae pursed his lips, and stared at Yixing’s chest again, looking over his collarbones and the curves of his shoulders. The side of Yixing’s lip was a little bit red and swollen from where Jingfei had bitten at him last night. Jongdae wanted to put his tongue on it. “Yixing gē.”

“Yeah?”

“Can I do it again?”

“What’s that?”

“Suck your dick.” Jongdae bit his lip and stared at him. The worst he could do was say no, right? Yixing wasn’t going to throw him out of his house or anything. He watched the little crease in Yixing’s forehead as he thought it over, and each millisecond that went by made Jongdae freak out more. Shit shit shit maybe that was a really bad idea. He was just really tired, okay, he had been worn out by last night and he still wasn’t completely all together--

“I mean, if you want.” Yixing pulled the bedsheets back and started to pull down his boxers. Jongdae felt his eyes nearly explode out of his head and he had to grab the bedsheets tight in his hands to keep from startling too hard. Yixing’s dick had made its appearance and Jongdae was almost disturbed by how excited he was to see it. Jongdae glanced up at Yixing’s face once more for approval, and then moved the bedsheets away.

“I just...” Jongdae started, but didn’t know where he was going with that. There wasn’t an excuse he could come up with right now. “I just want to suck your dick.” That was the truth. Good job. He scooted over so he could be in between Yixing’s legs, and then thought about it. “Ahh, come here.” He paused. “Excuse me, please, gē.” He got off the bed and knelt down over it, and Yixing knew what to do, moving over to sit off the side. Jongdae had watched Yixing do this to Jingfei last night and it seemed effective. “Is this alright?”

“Yeah,” Yixing said shortly, and Jongdae stopped. Jongdae looked up at him.

“Are you sure you’re okay with this?”

“I said you could do it, didn’t I?” Yixing made a stern face at Jongdae, but then softened. “Yeah, do it. You’re good at it and I like it.” He paused. “Just be quiet, Lu Han’s home.”

Jongdae smiled a little and took Yixing’s dick in his hand. It was limp and squishy and as unattractive as any other dick he’d ever seen, but it was still his favorite. He frowned a little at the fact he had a favorite dick. Whatever. He stroked it a few times and put his mouth on the tip. Yixing didn’t make any sounds for a while, just sat there while Jongdae lapped up and down his cock with his tongue. Jongdae noticed that it was more difficult to get Yixing hard than it ever was for Suho, but Jongdae figured there were multiple explanations for that...he coughed a tiny bit when Yixing got hard and he felt Yixing’s cock hit the back of his throat. He wasn’t ready for that. He pulled it out and put his hand on Yixing’s cock, pumping it up and down slowly.

He looked up at Yixing, who had his eyes closed and his lower lip bit into his mouth. Jongdae hummed softly on the tip of Yixing’s cock before bringing it back into his mouth. It was stiff and long and Jongdae could feel his own erection pulling at the front of his boxer shorts already. Yixing finally made a short, muffled sound, and Jongdae made a fist with his hand and pumped it in celebration outside of Yixing’s view. That was the dumbest thing he had ever done and he would make fun of himself for it later. Right now he was preoccupied.

Jongdae heard Yixing moan lowly when he ran his tongue up the side of Yixing’s cock, and Jongdae fell in love with the sound. He became obsessed with making Yixing vocalize, which wasn’t too hard once he got going. He sucked the tip in his mouth and listened to Yixing groan before taking his cock all the way in and bobbing his head up and down on it. He tried to ignore the sloppy sounds he was making, and focus on the way Yixing’s hips subtly twitched upwards. He felt Yixing’s cock hit his throat again and he moaned. He pulled away and licked his lips, and reached over to take Yixing’s hand and put it on his head. “Here,” he said, and then started to suck again. Yixing moaned and hesitated before gripping Jongdae’s hair in his hand.

That was what Jongdae wanted. He moaned around Yixing’s cock and took it in farther, feeling it hit the back of his throat and trying not to choke. His lack of a gag reflex proved very useful, which he thought was funny, because he had never thought of it as an advantage before. Yixing started to thrust his hips up more boldly and Jongdae groaned, feeling Yixing’s cock stretch out his throat and loving it. He let Yixing thrust his cock down his throat some more, and took a deep breath in when Yixing let go of his hair and let him pull away.

“Sorry,” Yixing panted softly, and Jongdae cleared his throat before grinning up at him.

“No, it’s really hot,” Jongdae reassured him, and he lifted his hand to stroke Yixing’s cock up and down. He dropped his head to suck on Yixing’s balls, and Yixing let out a little yelp that Jongdae wasn’t expecting. Jongdae fought back laughter and sucked on Yixing’s balls while rubbing the tip of his cock with the palm of his hand. Yixing moved his hands and started swatting Jongdae on the top of his head, and Jongdae pulled away, looking up at him with low eyelids. “What’s up?”

“You’re really good at that,” Yixing breathed, and Jongdae grinned. Yixing wasn’t as vocal as Suho was but the rough way Yixing’s chest was rising and falling made Jongdae feel accomplished. “Holy shit.”

“Thanks,” Jongdae told him, and moved to take Yixing’s dick back in his mouth when Yixing stopped him.

“Do you want to fuck?” Yixing asked him, his eyes wide, and Jongdae stared at him for a second. What. _What_. Holy shit a lot had just happened in the past half hour. Jongdae adjusted his legs just to give him something to do, and he looked around, suddenly nervous.

“Uhm, I...” He had never really thought about having sex with Yixing before, he had always just wanted to suck his dick. But he had done that now, so...

“Shit. If you don’t want to I--” Yixing started, his voice attempting to sound clear and unperturbed, but Jongdae could hear his low breaths.

“Of course I want to fuck you,” Jongdae said quickly. Well shit. If having sex with Yixing’s magic cock felt half as good as sleeping with his boss then Jongdae figured he wouldn’t regret this. Yixing nodded at him, seemingly a little shocked at the situation himself. He paused and then grabbed Jongdae’s hand to pull him back onto the bed.

Yixing flailed around a bit before rolling off the bed and searching through his bedside drawer, and Jongdae fought back laughter watching him. He had never seen Yixing so flustered before, and it was the damn near cutest thing he had ever seen. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” Yixing laughed, “just wasn’t expecting you to turn me on so much.”

Jongdae felt a blush rise to his cheeks. Wow. Should he write Suho a thank you card or something? Yixing had a small bottle of lube in his hands and a condom when he returned to the bed and Jongdae looked at the objects before meeting his eyes. “How many other guys have you slept with? I’ve only been with one guy, so I’m not really...”

“I’ve never,” Yixing said, and Jongdae paused. He stared at him, and then furrowed his brow.

“No, really.”

“I’ve never slept with a guy.” Yixing stared back at him, his face blank, and Jongdae laughed out loud.

“I have such a hard time believing that.”

“It’s true!” Yixing scowled as he opened the bottle of lube, and Jongdae smiled at him.

“I’m sorry.”

“What makes you so fucking sure that I’ve had sex with a man?” Yixing was laughing a little, and it calmed Jongdae down.

“I wasn’t sure, I guess! I just, I dunno, you kind of have a reputation at work...”

“For sleeping with a lot of women,” Yixing finished for him, and started to stroke his cock with his hand. Jongdae watched Yixing jerking himself off for a while, completely distracted from the conversation.

“For...being a sexual deviant,” Jongdae offered, and Yixing snorted and grabbed Jongdae’s arm to pull him closer. Jongdae watched Yixing pull his hand away from himself and pour lube onto his fingers, and his breath hitched. “Do you know what you’re doing?”

“I’ve had anal sex before, I’m a sexual deviant,” Yixing said shortly, and he glanced at Jongdae’s crotch. “Could you take those off?”

Jongdae scrambled to take his boxers off and got on his knees, spreading his legs so Yixing could get his hand between them. Yixing seemed to be a bit distracted by Jongdae’s bouncing cock for a moment, and it made Jongdae grin. Yixing moved his hand to prod at Jongdae’s hole, and Jongdae bit his lip. No matter how many times Suho had poked him down there it still felt weird at first.

Yixing pushed a fingertip inside of him and Jongdae groaned. He moved his hand so he could stroke his dick, but hesitated, and decided to just let Yixing tease him. He moaned as he felt Yixing explore his hole with his finger, and gritted his teeth when Yixing added another. He felt Yixing’s eyes on his face, and he looked down at him and moaned. “Ahh, shit.”

“Does it hurt?” Yixing asked, and Jongdae shook his head. He choked out a sound when Yixing started to scissor his fingers inside of him, and he grinded his hips down on Yixing’s hand for second. He let out a throaty groan and Yixing pulled his fingers away, looked at him, and then put them back. Jongdae whimpered and Yixing paused, pulling his fingers out.

“What are you doing?” Jongdae asked, and Yixing added a third finger, starting to fuck Jongdae harder. Jongdae whined and dropped his head back, moaning as he felt Yixing thrusting his fingers up inside of him. Yixing kept pulling his fingers all the way out and thrusting them back in, and Jongdae moaned every time, leaning over a little and putting his hand on Yixing’s shoulder. “Aaagh, god, fuck!”

“That good?” Yixing asked him, and Jongdae nodded.

“Yes, it feels good.”

“If I hurt you, tell me.” Yixing said, and Jongdae grinded his hips on Yixing’s fingers in response. Yixing smirked a little and started to thrust his fingers in a bit deeper, watching the way Jongdae’s legs shook. He breathed slowly and pulled his fingers out. He looked Jongdae up and down, and pursed his lips when Jongdae met his eyes with his own. “Are you ready?”

“Yeah. I think so. Yeah.” Jongdae shook his hips a little as he watched Yixing reach for a tissue to wipe off his hand. Jongdae couldn’t help reaching for his dick and stroking himself, and Yixing smirked a little bit at him when he put his hands on Jongdae’s hips.

“Can I fuck you from behind?” Yixing asked, and Jongdae startled a little, starting to move.

“Oh, oh, yeah, of course.” Jongdae rolled off of Yixing and onto his knees, and listened to Yixing tearing open the condom wrapper. He closed his eyes and tried to calm himself down as Yixing put the condom on, and when he felt Yixing’s hands on his hips he jolted awake. Holy shit this was actually happening. Holy shit holy shit. Jongdae felt Yixing poke his cock at his hole and he grimaced; he forgot how much this actually hurt. Yixing pushed in a little bit more and Jongdae moaned, more from pain than pleasure. He gritted his teeth and tried to get used to the feeling of something so big and hard inside of him. Yixing was moving back and forth of his own accord, and it hurt, but Jongdae didn’t want to whine, just wanted to start enjoying himself as quickly as possible.

Yixing put his hands on Jongdae’s hips and eased his whole length inside of Jongdae, and Jongdae moaned loudly, scooting back a little bit so he could feel Yixing’s skin pressed against his own. He moaned again, and Yixing pinched Jongdae’s ass gently. “You’re tight as hell.”

“Unnh, god.” Jongdae licked his lips and moaned again when Yixing started to thrust inside of him.

“Ohh, you feel good. Oh, fuck. Unnh...” Jongdae noticed that Yixing’s Chinese sounded a little more accented when he was moaning like this, and it make him smile. Jongdae leaned back a bit to ride up on Yixing’s cock and groaned. He couldn’t think of anything worthwhile to say, so he just kept moaning as he pushed himself back against Yixing’s cock, and he dropped his head down to the pillows when he felt Yixing poke against his sweet spot.

Yixing put his hand on Jongdae’s back and started fucking him harder, getting him to arch his ass up more. Jongdae’s mouth fell open and he moaned loudly, shivering each time Yixing hit his prostate. He lifted a hand and hit one of the pillows with his fist, and Yixing smirked down at him, starting to thrust faster in the direction that made Jongdae groan.

Jongdae felt Yixing’s cock rubbing up against his prostate over and over again and he wanted to scream. Yixing’s cock was the perfect size for him to tease his prostate like this and Jongdae could feel himself nearing orgasm already. Yixing groped Jongdae’s ass with his hands and Jongdae hummed, choking out a moan when Yixing hit him deep. Yixing’s cock thrusted against Jongdae’s prostate until Jongdae wailed and pushed back against Yixing so he couldn’t move any further. “Fuck, fuck, _yes_! Hyung, oh god, it’s so good--”

Yixing started to thrust against Jongdae harder, ignoring how Jongdae tried to keep him in one place, and Jongdae whimpered loudly and shouted, his hips bucking as he came to orgasm. “Hyung, hyung, your dick is _perfect_ , oh my god!” Jongdae heard Yixing chuckle and Yixing reached around to put his hand over Jongdae’s mouth. Jongdae moaned as Yixing came to a slow, thrusting into him more gently. His legs shook as Yixing pulled out of him, and Jongdae groaned.

“How did you do that so fast?” Jongdae asked him softly, and Yixing cleared his throat.

“You’re speaking in Korean, Jongdae,” Yixing said softly, and he put his hands on Jongdae’s hips to roll him over on his back. Yixing looked down at him, his eyes heavy with a lust Jongdae had never seen before, and Jongdae breathed slowly.

“S-sorry. I don’t really know how to moan in Chinese yet,” he laughed, and he watched Yixing bite his lip. “I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s really fucking hot,” Yixing laughed, and he kissed Jongdae slowly. Jongdae felt his entire body freeze up, and he managed to kiss back for a second before Yixing pulled away again. “Wanna get on top of me?”

Jongdae paused, still a little thrown off by Yixing kissing him. “Uhm, uhm, yes.” He wobbled around on wiggly legs until Yixing laid back down on the bed, and Jongdae threw his leg over Yixing’s side so that he was straddling him. He looked down at Yixing and bit his lip. “This good?”

“Sit down on it,” Yixing told him, and he lifted his hand to put on Jongdae’s side. Jongdae wanted to tell Yixing that he knew what to do, but Yixing was touching him gently and it made Jongdae’s heart skip a beat, so he was distracted. Jongdae sat up and put himself over Yixing’s cock, and started to take him inside. He moaned slowly as he took all of Yixing’s cock in, and Yixing grunted when he felt Jongdae sitting in his lap. “Shit, you’re tight, you’re so tight.”

Whatever Yixing was saying in Chinese Jongdae hadn’t learned yet, but he assumed it was about how much of an incredible lover Jongdae was, so he just nodded and smiled. Jongdae started to ride Yixing’s cock up and down and Yixing moaned, his eyes closing. Jongdae watched his face and listened to the soft curses that were escaping his mouth, and breathed slowly. He was riding Yixing’s cock and it was glorious and fuck yes, everything that he had been through in the past month was worth it, it was totally worth it.

Jongdae reached over to jerk himself off, and moaned when he ran his hand up and down the length of his cock. He rubbed himself feverishly, watching the rise and fall of Yixing’s chest each time he thrusted up into him. Yixing put his hands on Jongdae’s hips and held him in place to fuck him harder, and Jongdae whimpered. He watched Yixing bite his lip and wanted to lean down and kiss him, but refrained, still afraid of what that might do. He let Yixing fuck him and moaned loudly, not caring if Lu Han could hear or not. That wasn’t his problem. He stroked himself quickly and watched a drop of sweat roll down Yixing’s cheek.

“Yixing gē, Yixing gē, you feel so good. Oh, fuck.” Yixing’s cock was hitting him deep and it shot shivers up the backs of his legs again. This sex with Yixing was so much different than it was with Suho, Yixing was electric and fast and so much rougher than Suho ever was...probably because this was still sort of new to him. Jongdae tried to laugh a little but it came out as a moan, and he was okay with that. He jerked his cock hard and watched Yixing’s face contort as he lifted himself up and down on Yixing’s dick.

“Jongdae, that’s so hot,” Yixing told him, his fingers digging into Jongdae’s hips. Jongdae moaned at the praise and leaned over, putting his free hand on Yixing’s chest.

“Fuh, what?”

“The way you’re touching yourself. Fuck--” Yixing gripped Jongdae’s hips so hard they hurt and started slamming into him, and Jongdae whined loudly, feeling his legs turn to jelly. He could feel heat rising to the tip of his cock, and he moaned, heatedly bucking his hips on Yixing’s cock. Yixing groaned and moved his hands to his head to run through his hair, watching Jongdae’s body twitch and jerk as he came. Jongdae came on Yixing’s chest, the short ropes of semen painting Yixing’s skin. He leaned over Yixing’s body and moaned again, trying to collect himself, and Yixing slapped his ass. “Jongdae.”

“Ahhh, hyung, ahh...” Jongdae was still twitching from his orgasm, and when Yixing started to move him he whined. “Hyung, that felt so good.” Yixing rolled Jongdae onto his back and sat up, positioning himself in between Jongdae’s legs. Jongdae was thankful for the pillows for him to rest his head on, and he leaned back, trying to relax and groaning as Yixing put his dick in him again. “Ahh, fuck.” He looked up at saw Yixing thrusting into him, his chest still sticky with Jongdae’s cum, and Jongdae’s cock jumped.

Yixing leaned over and put his mouth on Jongdae’s neck, and Jongdae made a soft sound, moving his head to the side so Yixing could lick anywhere he wanted. He felt Yixing sucking hickeys into his neck and thrusted his hips up against Yixing’s, wanting to give him everything he could. Yixing pulled away from Jongdae’s neck and choked out a few moans before thrusting his cock into Jongdae roughly. Jongdae let out a yelp as he felt Yixing’s cock spreading him open, and reached his hand over to grab Yixing’s arm, clawing at him. Yixing bit his lip and breathed heavily as he came, still thrusting his hips against Jongdae’s hard even after he was done. When he slowed Jongdae let out a soft sigh and closed his eyes, feeling completely beat.

He felt Yixing pull out of him and groaned a little. He was suddenly empty, wet, and sticky and he didn’t like it at all. He rolled onto his side and laid there while Yixing cleaned up, but Yixing grabbed him and pulled him back so he could face him when he was done. Yixing was sweaty, still breathing somewhat heavy with his muscles taut and smooth. Jongdae felt like he could go another round just looking at him.

“Jongdae, you alright?” Yixing asked him. Jongdae nodded, moving his hands to his face so he could rub his eyes.

“I’m great...” he said, and he felt Yixing pat his shoulder. He almost wanted to laugh at the awkward gesture, but didn’t. He pulled his hands away from his face and looked up at Yixing. Yixing glanced at him, expecting him to say something, but when Jongdae just kept looking at him he looked away.

“I’m still straight,” Yixing said nonchalantly, and he stepped off of the bed. “But you know that.”

“I do,” Jongdae grinned. It was weird, but it was...a start, he supposed. Jongdae didn’t think he wanted to be anything more than fuck buddies with Yixing, and it seemed like that could work. He watched Yixing wander around and put his clothes on out of the corner of his eye, and Jongdae rolled towards him. “Do I have to go, now that we’ve fucked?”

Yixing laughed shortly. “No, I won’t kick you out. I just wanna get something to drink.”

“Alright.”

“Wanna come out to the living room with me?” Yixing looked at him, and Jongdae stared back. Hmm. He’d have to put his clothes back on. He sighed and got out of bed, stretching and groaning as the pain in his backside stung at him. He looked around for his clothes that had been thrown around last night and managed to find everything but one of his socks, so he took off the one he had already put back on and threw it back on the bed. He’d get it later. He followed Yixing out into the living room, and stopped when he saw Lu Han on the couch.

“Hey,” Yixing said to Lu Han as he passed him on his way to the kitchen. Lu Han nodded at him, and Jongdae stayed standing in the doorway. He didn’t know how he was going to explain this away. He hesitantly entered the room and sat down in the armchair near the couch, and Lu Han looked up at him.

“Ahh, Jongdae-yah!” Lu Han smiled at him. “Yixing said you were visiting.”

“Yeah, it’s good to see your place. It’s much nicer than mine.”

“Pfff, that’s not true.” Lu Han changed the channel on the television, and Jongdae watched him idly. Lu Han went through a couple more channels before stopping on a news station. He didn’t carry the conversation any further, and Jongdae adjusted his position, looking towards the kitchen. Now life was awkward. He wanted to go before Lu Han asked him why he could hear Jongdae screaming in Korean from Yixing’s room two minutes ago. Apparently Lu Han wasn’t interested in that, though, because he just kept watching the television and paid Jongdae no mind.

Yixing came out of the kitchen with a glass of orange juice, and he took a sip from it and then handed it to Lu Han. Lu Han silently gripped it and took a sip from it, and gave it back to him. Jongdae watched them, amused. Yixing was standing behind Lu Han on the couch but they both stared at the television in the same way. Jongdae figured that maybe if you live with someone long enough, you start to become like them -- he knew that living with Minseok had made him cleaner.

“Jongdae, you wanna go home?” Yixing called out to him, and Jongdae looked up.

“Uhm,” he started. Shit. It’s not like he didn’t want to be there, there just wasn’t anything to do, and he felt like he was imposing... “Uhm, sure,” he said, and Yixing nodded.

“I’m gonna take Jongdae home,” Yixing told Lu Han.

Lu Han smiled up at Jongdae. “Nice to see you, Jongdae-yah.”

“Yes, you too,” Jongdae got up and bowed to him, and ran off to Yixing’s room to get his socks. He found the rest of his outfit and put everything on, and when he went back to the living room Yixing had on a leather jacket that made Jongdae want to stay so he could take it off of him.

“Bye again!” Lu Han called out as the two left. Yixing took Jongdae down to his car, and Jongdae hugged his jacket close to himself. The two spent the first three minutes of the car ride in complete silence, Yixing not even turning on the radio, which bothered the hell out of Jongdae. Jongdae looked out the window and bit his lip. What was going on. Did Yixing hate him now. What the fuck. He looked over at Yixing, who was just trying to drive, and frowned.

“Jongdae, what.” Yixing said, and Jongdae jumped, unaware that Yixing had an all-seeing eye. Jongdae tried to say something, but words weren’t coming out, just sputtering noises. Yixing laughed at him and swatted a hand in his direction. “Speak.”

“Ahh, don’t be mean.” Jongdae scowled. “Why did you kick me out?”

“I didn’t kick you out!” Yixing raised his voice. “You looked uncomfortable as hell, I figured you wanted to go!”

Jongdae frowned, staring at himself in the sideview mirror. He felt silly for sulking. “You’re right.”

“So don’t be so awkward. I just thought you didn’t want to talk to Lu Han.”

“I like Lu Han gē.” Jongdae said.

“I know that.”

“Don’t think I don’t like Lu Han gē.”

Yixing laughed again. “I know that! I didn’t want you running your mouth to him about how we had sex.”

Jongdae sighed. “I wasn’t going to. I was afraid that he was going to ask me about it, though.”

“Me too.”

“I don’t know how quiet I kept myself.”

“You didn’t. You weren’t quiet at all.” Yixing chuckled a little bit, and Jongdae sighed. He had always been really bad at controlling his volume. “But don’t worry about it, Lu Han doesn’t care.”

“He won’t tell anyone, right?”

“He has no reason to.”

“I don’t want him to tell Minseok hyung.”

Yixing snorted. “He wouldn’t do that. But I’ll warn him not to anyway, okay.”

Jongdae nodded slowly, fussing his hands together in his lap. Yixing was being weirdly accommodating out of nowhere and it was...really nice. Wow. Maybe he should go around and sleep with all of his coworkers.

When Yixing pulled up outside of Jongdae’s building, Jongdae stared out the window, not wanting to go. He stared up at his building and found his bedroom window, and sighed. He could feel Yixing looking at him, and he glanced over to him. “Thank you for taking me home.”

“No problem,” Yixing said, and then it was silent again. Jongdae didn’t like that. Why was this so awkward? He was going to say something, anything, to break it, but Yixing beat him to it. “Thanks for helping me through that.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I had sex with a guy today.” The grin on Yixing’s face was downright childish and it took Jongdae everything not to burst out laughing. “I feel like I’ve accomplished something.”

“I’m glad to be your first,” Jongdae laughed. “You were mine too.”

“I thought you said you had done it before.”  
  
“No, I mean-- I mean, when we slept with Jingfei. That was.” Jongdae swallowed. “The first time I was with a guy. Like, not all the way, like what we did, you know--”

“I understand.” Yixing said, nodding and holding back a smile from Jongdae’s flustered words.

“Okay. Yeah.” Jongdae nodded, and looked forward. Should he get out now? Uhm. “Thanks-- thanks again. I’ll see you at work, I guess.”

“Yeah.” Yixing smiled softly at him, and Jongdae just stared at him. Yixing stared back, and then his dimple showed when he smirked at him. “I’m not going to kiss you goodbye.”

Jongdae jumped at the door. “Sorry! Sorry, sorry!” He got out of the car and shut the door behind him, and waved quickly as Yixing pulled away. He watched Yixing’s car drive down the street until it was out of sight, and he breathed slowly, shoving his hands into his jacket pockets. His head felt fuzzy, like someone was channel-surfing through his mind and not finding anything worth watching. That was...weird. He had sex with Yixing and now he was just...at home. All of a sudden.

Jongdae sighed. He figured Yixing would want to be alone now, so he could go through whatever Jongdae had gone through, but maybe at a more relaxed Yixing pace. Jongdae went up to his apartment and breathed slowly when he saw Minseok wasn’t there. He kicked his shoes off at the door and went to his room.

Jongdae laid down on his bed, and scowled when pain shot through his backside. He had forgotten how much sex hurt afterwards. He spread his limbs across his mattress and stared up at the ceiling, and then dug into his pocket for his phone. He pulled it out and looked through the couple of text messages Baekhyun had sent him last night when he was busy.

Should he text Baekhyun and Chanyeol? _Hey you guys I finally slept with Yixing, I’m a god, praise me._ No, that wasn’t anything Baekhyun and Chanyeol needed to know, was it? And maybe he shouldn’t go around telling people that, just in case Yixing got upset...ehh. Baekhyun and Chanyeol could go their lives without the mental image.

Jongdae brought up his text history with Suho. It was entirely just them figuring out when Jongdae would be at home and when he would be in China. That was some sort of relationship. He pressed on the text box, and when the cursor started blinking on and off, he didn’t know what to say. _Thanks for teaching me how to suck dick?_ No. _Thanks boss, your expertise helped me fuck a straight guy_. Suho was probably at work and if he got a message like that he might cum in his pants right then and there. Jongdae chuckled to himself and sent Suho the “thumbs up” emoji, and then closed his phone. Mission complete.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI EVERYONE. THAT'S IT. IT'S OVER LOL.  
> thank you so much for reading my fic!! this is actually the longest thing i've ever written, omg, every time i remember i started writing it as a joke for my friends i laaaaaugh  
> no but really thank you so much for reading, your comments/upvotes/subcriptions really make my day every time. y'all make it fun for me to write.
> 
> there will be a bonus chapter of this!!....that i will upload in a day or two wahahaha sorry i'm all word-ed out right now
> 
> again, thank you thank you thank you!! please comment if you enjoyed my story, and look at my other fics~~ i have a couple AUs and i'm always writing for them :D
> 
> see you soon everyone!


	19. (nsfw) BONUS~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bonus story 8D enjoy my lovelies hehehe

“Yeah, you’re good. But…you could be better.” Suho grinned at Jongdae from across the pillow, and Jongdae scoffed, looking away from him. How dare Suho critique his dick-sucking technique. He knew Jongdae was a beginner. Jongdae sat up so he could scrutinize Suho at a better angle, and Suho burst out laughing at him. “What, did I push a button?”

“I’ve been told I’m very good,” Jongdae said, and Suho laughed again.

“Yeah, from who? Did you go on a cock-sucking spree when you went back to China?”

Jongdae paused, and thought this over. After he had slept with Suho the first time, he went back to China and...slept with Yixing. And Jingfei a couple more times. And now he was back on break in South Korea, spending his vacation in Suho’s bedroom as he was wont to do now. So, actually, maybe he didn’t have the credentials to talk big. He had only seen two other dicks in his life.

“I did not.”

“Then who’s telling you you’re good at sucking dick? I don’t count.”

“I met a guy in China,” Jongdae shrugged, and then met eyes with Suho to keep him from pressing the issue. He didn’t want to talk about it with him. “That’s all. He told me I was good at giving head.”

“Well, yes. You’re good. But like I said, you could be better.” Suho sat up and put his hand on the back of Jongdae’s neck, pulling him into a kiss. Jongdae kissed him for a while, and when he moved his hands to put on Suho’s shoulders Suho pushed him back. He poked Jongdae’s nipple, which Jongdae thought was a strange way to tell him to lay down, and when Jongdae was flat on his back Suho slid down and took Jongdae’s cock into his mouth.

“Ahhh, hyung.” Jongdae breathed slowly. He had been having pretty regular sex with Suho ever since he came back from China, but he still wasn’t used to how insatiable his boss could be.

“I’m going to teach you how to do this right,” Suho said, lifting a hand to take Jongdae’s cock in. He stroked Jongdae’s limp dick gently and looked up at him. “And then these Chinese guys won’t be telling you you’re good at giving head. They won’t be saying a damn thing because you’ll have knocked them the fuck out.” Suho put his mouth on Jongdae’s cock again and Jongdae sighed softly, readjusting his position. He was perfectly willing to let Suho suck his dick, he didn’t know if he was going to take notes, though. That seemed like a bit of effort.

Jongdae’s cock was completely stiff before Suho could even begin to tell him the best way to get someone hard. Suho chuckled a little when he let Jongdae’s cock slip out of his mouth and it stood on its own. He grinned up at Jongdae, who smiled sheepishly, and then sucked the tip into his mouth. “You’re so fucking eager. I love it.” He ran his tongue around the tip of Jongdae’s cock, and Jongdae grunted.

“What can I say, you’re good at what you do...” Suho took all of Jongdae’s cock in his mouth in one movement and Jongdae choked out a moan. When Suho pulled back Jongdae whimpered a little bit and shook his hand in his direction. “Ahh, hyung, do that again.”

“Mm, not yet.” Suho put his hand on Jongdae’s dick again and stroked it up and down slowly, putting his mouth on the tip and swirling his tongue around. Jongdae breathed slowly and let out a soft, long moan. Suho’s hand was soft but was gripping his cock with just the right amount of tightness, and Jongdae moaned each time Suho moved his hand up. Suho started to go slower, and Jongdae could feel his eyes on him, so he moaned loudly and bucked his hips up to distract him.

“D-Don’t watch me,” Jongdae muttered, and Suho laughed a little. He ran his tongue down the side of Jongdae’s cock and then up again, repeating it until taking the head back into his mouth and sucking on it. Jongdae’s hips twitched and he gritted his teeth. “Unnh, hyung. Hyung,” Suho started licking around Jongdae’s dick again, and Jongdae closed his eyes. “Don’t tease me.”

“But you’re _learning_ from me. I have to take it slow.” Suho started to jerk Jongdae’s cock in his hand faster, and Jongdae let out a soft breath. He started to bob his head up and down on the first couple inches of Jongdae’s cock, and Jongdae felt a shiver in the back of his knees. He wanted to jump up and start fucking Suho’s throat but he didn’t think that would be too well received. He settled for the slow drags of Suho’s tongue across his sensitive skin and his breath hitched.

“Oh, fuck, come on. Come on,” Suho took Jongdae’s dick farther into his throat and Jongdae moaned. “Yes, that’s so good.”

Suho sucked Jongdae’s cock faster, his head moving up and down quickly. Jongdae moaned and moved his hand to the back of Suho’s head, but Suho lifted his arm and swatted him away. He laughed a little after slipping Jongdae’s cock out of his mouth. “Don’t touch,” he sang, and Jongdae scowled.

“Please, fuck, don’t be like this.” Jongdae whined as Suho took his cock all the way into his mouth and then pulled it out. Suho grinned at him and did it again, and Jongdae groaned. “Fuck, don’t tease me like that.”

“It’s frustrating, isn’t it? But it feels so good...” Suho knew exactly what he was doing and Jongdae wanted to tear his hair out. That wasn’t fair. Suho seemed content to tease his dick like this for the rest of the day. Jongdae groaned and thrusted his hips up, and Suho made a face at him. “Hyper little shit.”

“Please, just put it all in.” Jongdae moaned when Suho did as Jongdae requested, but pulled away after two seconds to give him an obnoxious smirk. Jongdae frowned. “I mean the right way.”

“This _is_ the right way. It feels good, doesn’t it?” Suho took all of Jongdae’s cock into his mouth and started to bob his head up and down, and Jongdae let out a high-pitched moan. Suho was so good at this that it made his legs feel weak. Jongdae cursed under his breath and hovered his hand around Suho’s head, almost touching him but reminding himself not to.

“Oh, yes, this feels so good!” Jongdae thrusted his hips up a bit and Suho took it in stride, taking Jongdae’s cock deep into his throat for a moment before pulling back and sucking the tip. “Fuck, yes, hyung, hyung hyung hyung.” Jongdae noticed that Suho seemed to have a thing for being called hyung, and while Jongdae thought it was kind of weird, he wasn’t going to call him out on it, not when he was getting his dick sucked like this on the regular. The encouragement seemed to spur Suho on, and he started sucking harder, causing a tickle in the back of Jongdae’s knees. “Fuck!”

Jongdae came hard with his dick all the way down Suho’s throat, and breathed heavily, moaning loudly when Suho pulled his cock out of his mouth. Suho stared down at Jongdae’s crotch with a disappointed look on his face, and then glanced up to Jongdae. His lips were red and swollen, but Jongdae still thought they were entirely kissable. Suho furrowed his brow at Jongdae.

“I wasn’t done with that,” Suho told him, and then he shrugged. He took Jongdae’s cock back in his mouth, and Jongdae yelped.

“Ahh, hyung! It’s sensitive, be careful--” Suho took Jongdae’s cock all the way into his throat and Jongdae shouted. The tingling sensation in his cock was nearly unbearable, but Suho was stroking his cock with his tongue and shit, it felt really good too. Eventually Jongdae got used to the sensitivity and calmed down, and Suho pulled away to breathe. He spit on Jongdae’s cock and started rubbing it with his hand, and Jongdae sighed loudly.

“Is it too much?” Suho smiled up at him, and Jongdae rolled his eyes and didn’t answer. Suho snickered and moved to suck one of Jongdae’s balls into his mouth, and Jongdae made a high-pitched sound.

“Ahh, fuck!” Suho stroked his cock faster while he sucked, and Jongdae moaned, thrusting his hips up wantonly into Suho’s hand. Suho rubbed the tip of Jongdae’s cock on the palm of his hand and Jongdae grunted in a low voice. Apparently this amused Suho, because he started to do it harder, and Jongdae wiggled a little. “Hyung, oh god, _hyung_.”

“You’re not complaining anymore,” Suho pointed out, and Jongdae scoffed. Jongdae was having trouble breathing, much less coming up with snarky responses to Suho’s teasing. He just shook his head and thrusted his hips up, and Suho started to suck on his balls again. Jongdae whined and fucked Suho’s hand, and let out a strained groan when he came again. Suho caught Jongdae’s semen in his hand and started to jerk his cock with it, and Jongdae gritted his teeth.

“Suho hyung, that’s so sensitive. Stop it--” he moaned loudly when Suho leaned down and took his cock into his mouth again, sucking on it relentlessly. Jongdae squirmed from side to side, and flailed a little when Suho tried to hold him in place. The feelings in between his legs were becoming too much to handle so he pushed Suho off of him, his legs trembling. “Hyung, hyuuuung...”

Suho watched Jongdae squirming for a while with a terrible grin on his face, and when Jongdae had seemingly calmed down he put his hand back on Jongdae’s cock. Jongdae yelped and swatted at him, but didn’t tell him to stop. Suho started to jerk his dick and Jongdae found it hard to breathe. Suho moved to put his mouth on the tip of Jongdae’s cock but Jongdae came again, even his cumshot so tired that semen just dribbled down the side of his dick. Jongdae whimpered and scooted back into the bed so Suho couldn’t trap him anymore, and Suho laughed.

“How was that, sweetheart?” Suho asked him, but Jongdae was unable to form a sentence. He groaned at his hyung and Suho laughed again, moving closer to lie down next to him. “That was really hot.”

“Unnh...” Jongdae made a soft sound, and nodded. “That was fun...”

Suho grinned at him. “It _was_ fun. I want to make you cum again--” he sat up and reached over to Jongdae’s crotch, but Jongdae rolled away from him.

“N-no more. That’s enough for now.” Jongdae coughed, and Suho bit the inside of his mouth to keep from laughing. Jongdae slipped under the covers and tried to focus on anything but the intense sensitivity in between his legs. “Fuck, fuck.”

“You’re so sexy, Jongdae-yah,” Suho told him, sliding closer and putting his arms around Jongdae. Jongdae let out a breathless laugh and put his arm around Suho.

“Th-thank you, hyung.”

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fiiiiine...” Jongdae said slowly, his head starting to pound. He could feel all of the blood that had rushed to his dick start to trickle back to his vital organs, and he was feeling a bit better. “I’m wonderful...”

Suho smiled and stroked the side of Jongdae’s hair with his hand. “Alright. I’ll give you fifteen minutes and we’ll go again, hmm?”

“Hyuuuung.”

“Fifteen minutes,” Suho grinned, and he kissed Jongdae’s cheek.

 

 


End file.
